Ha, Ha, Ha

A new slogan will make “Europe strong again?” Gemeinsam. Europa wieder stark machen.

Europe

Back off, Trump. Germany wants to Make Europe Strong Again. Berlin’s EU presidency motto has echoes of MAGA.

Slogans, as we all know, are merely slogans. The track record here is what you have to go by and it ain’t pretty. The Eurozone hasn’t even begun to deal with Brexit while Angela Merkel signals submission to France to accept a Schuldenunion (a debt union – paying the debt for Southern European countries – yes, they have a North and a South problem here too) when all of a sudden this little thing we call Corona has prompted Brussels to suggest an $826 billion economic stimulus plan (even more debt)  for a “union” of countries that can’t even protect their borders and that only appears to be unified when it comes to supporting  anything that weakens the United States (see China) and on and on we go but together they will make Europe strong. Again. Again?

Make Europe Strong Again. MESA? All I see is a MESA problems that nobody is prepared to fix.

Germans Concerned That Google Will Now Become Even More Evil Than It Already Is

Now that “Don’t Be Evil” has been removed from their code of conduct thingy. And I don’t blame them, either. Just look at that Doctor Evil-looking evil character down there.

Evil

Sheesh. I’m going to switch to a German search engine. What do you mean there’s no such thing? Like, how lack of evil is that? And lame.

NERD RAGE Google removes legendary ‘Don’t Be Evil’ motto from code of conduct – should we be worried?

“Sei nicht böse” – und alles wird gut. Das inoffizielle Google-Motto “Don’t Be Evil” war das Beruhigungsmittel für alle Dystopie-Phobiker, die eine zukünftige Allmacht des Mega-Konzerns fürchten.

365/24 = 24/7/365

Or 15.20833333333333, if you prefer.

Berlin

And here you thought my math was bad. And it is. But Berlin’s tourism experts seem to be even worse at it because their new slogan just does not add up at all: 365/24. At least it doesn’t for the numerous people around town making fun of it these days.

It is supposed to imply that Berlin is a way cool place that never closes, of course, but a lot of citizens here don’t really see it that way. Lots and lots of stuff and places that never close are broken/closed/being rebuilt here all the time and it is not at all uncommon to wait around way more than 365/24 for them to open up again. And they aren’t impressed with the slogan’s lack of originality, either.

And while we’re at it (laughing at Berlin, I mean), there’s a new book out that’s got a number in its slogan, too. It’s called “111 Reasons to Hate Berlin.” Here is one of them that all Berliners love, I mean hate: Whether in the summer heat, the snow, the rain or even if it’s just an uneven hour of the day, the S-Bahn craps out along the entire line.

“Berlin ist nicht nur scheiße. Es ist noch scheißer, als es mal war. Und das muss man erst mal schaffen. Berlin gibt Scheiße eine ganz neue Definition.”

Grexit: Bad Attitude In A Can

German entrepreneur Uwe Dahlhoff has trademarked the term “Grexit” — used to refer to the possible Greek exit from the eurozone — and plans to use it to market a new vodka drink.

Grexit

The drink itself is sour — vodka mixed with lemons.

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

It Takes Two Sanitary Gloves To Handle A Whopper

I can think of a lot of countries where Burger King might want to close down some of its franchises due to poor hygiene issues, but here in Germany?

Burger King

Pimp my burger! But wipe that Dreck off it first. And give me some French flies while you’re at it…

Die einstweilige Verfügung bedeute für den Franchisenehmer nicht die umgehende Schließung, erklärte der Sprecher. Yi-Ko müsse aber alle markenrechtlich geschützten Gegenstände von Burger King wie Schilder und Speisekarten entfernen, die Mitarbeiter müssten die Uniformen ablegen. „Wenn sie alles abnehmen, bleibt es ihnen überlassen, was sie mit dem Restaurant machen.“