After A Thorough Analysis…

We have decided that Russia’s Covid-19 vaccine is actually pretty good.

Of course, this is also after we have done everything and we mean everything wrong in trying to provide our citizens with any kind of Covid-19 vaccine at all, ever.

Germany Willing to Consider Russia’s Sputnik Covid-19 Vaccine – Germany would consider buying Russia’s Sputnik V Covid-19 vaccine even if some of its European partners choose not to, according to Chancellor Angela Merkel’s chief spokesman.

“We’re still coordinating the details and have already had weeks of talks.”

Phase 1: AstraZeneca Vaccine Too Dangerous For Over-60s

It was made in Brexit England, after all. We don’t think we’ll be using it.

Phase 2: Hey! Where’s all the AstraZeneca vaccine we ordered from you in England? Are you holding it back to punish us for having purposely spooked everybody about using the AstraZeneca vaccine?

Phase 3: OK, so we didn’t order enough but you should give us the order we didn’t order anyway because we are Europeans.

Phase 4: Our studies now show that the AstraZeneca vaccine is OK after all. It’s OK to send us the freakin’ vaccine already. We’re waiting and it’s kind of important.

Phase 5: New studies show that one out of eight zillion can suffer complications after using the AstraZeneca vaccine even though its benefits far outweigh any possible danger so we don’t think we’ll be using any AstraZeneca vaccine after all, thank you.

Phase 6: Our studies now show that the AstraZeneca vaccine is OK after all and its benefits far outweigh any possible danger by taking it. It’s OK to send us the freakin’ vaccine already!

Phase 7. Actually, studies now show that the vaccine could possibly cause problems in one out of sixteen zillion anong the younger crowd so we are going to go back to Phase 1, only this time we’ll only be giving it to the over-60s. Where’s our vaccine?!?

Germany’s government said Tuesday it will restrict the use of AstraZeneca PLC’s Covid-19 vaccine for people younger than 60 following fresh blood-clotting incidents among recipients, potentially presenting the country’s sputtering vaccine rollout with fresh delays.

Tough Talk Is Cheap

But it’s still talk.

Merkel

Germany is flailing as the pandemic strikes again, not enough people are vaccinated and state leaders are dragging their feet. Merkel is now threatening to assert federal authority over measures to stem infections. It’s a blunt political instrument, and one rarely used.

Fact is, there’s not much she can do. Germany is a federal state designed to resist just such centralized, federal authority. Wonder why?

We’re Not That Efficient

Honest. It’s all a big misunderstanding or something. A stereotype.

Germans

Yeah, Germany. Chill. We know already. It’s particularly noticable these days but we recognized this a long time ago. Loser.

German efficiency: The roots of a stereotype – Germany has a reputation for getting things done in an efficient manner, even despite evidence to the contrary. Efficiency has played an important historic role in Germany — though not always a positive one.

“Confidence became arrogance, orderliness became mean-spirited pedantry, and the execution of one’s duties became pure inhumanity.”

Zero The Hero

Or Hero the Zero, if you prefer.

Zero

German of the day: Perfektionismus. That means perfectionism. But what it really means here in Germany these days is something else altogether. The Germans are now perfect at getting everything wrong. The days of German perfectionism are long gone and they are reminded of it daily.

Heroes to zeros: how German perfectionism wrecked its Covid vaccine drive – The same thoroughness that made Angela Merkel’s government a pandemic role model is now holding it back.

This time Angie let Brussels handle the vaccination planning, like a good European. BIG strategic blunder. That blew up in her face big time. But she can never get it right, really. The Germans are damned if they do (as in do it alone), damned if they don’t.

 

Now That Orange Man Is Gone Alles Is Well

Right? Well, not really.

Biden

And it’s because of you, Germany. Not the Orange Man.

The German trade surpluses remain. And remain they will.

The promised German defense spending levels for NATO have still not been met – nor do the Germans have any intention of ever meeting them.

The Nord Stream 2 gas pipeline, Germany’s going it alone with Russia (going it alone – Alleingänge – is something Germans regularly swear up and down they will never ever do again), will still not be accepted by the United States – or from most of Europe, for that matter.

Dollar signs in German eyes make it overly eager to allow Iran to do anything it wants to continue it’s nuclear program (a country openly calling for the destruction of Israel).

Germany forced the European Union to complete an investment deal with China – Germany’s largest trading partner – without even bothering to consult the incoming American administration. Nor does it share everyone else’s concern about allowing Huawei to provide the German 5G network.

To name just a few.

How did someone once put it?

“The Germans are very, very bad.”

German Of The Day: Kehrtwendung

That means doing an about-face. Although not necessarily while saving face.

Merkel

The natives are getting restless. They’re starting to get really pissed off about these ceaseless lockdowns and some are actually daring to raise their voices. German industry and voters are picking up the phones. Elections are approaching. Even Angela Merkel is feeling the heat these days. Hey, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer Empress of Europe.

COVID: Angela Merkel forced to think again on Easter – German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s announcement of a U-turn came less than 48 hours after a decision to send the country into a strict five-day lockdown.

Roll Over And Die With Style

It’s as easy as climbing stairs.

Nord Stream 2

The Banana Republic’s Secretary of State may pretend like his country will see to it that Nord Stream 2 isn’t completed but it’s just empty posturing that won’t have any consequences and the Germans know it. Just like Vlad Putin and everybody else.

Germany is pushing for the pipeline’s completion, despite sustained U.S. opposition over more than a decade. The United States fears Russia could use Nord Stream 2 as leverage to weaken EU states by increasing dependency on Moscow.

“President (Joe) Biden has been very clear, he believes the pipeline is a bad idea, bad for Europe, bad for the United States, ultimately it is in contradiction to the EU’s own security goals,” Blinken said as he met NATO Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg.

 

We’re Had Lockdown, Lockdown Light, Lockdown 2, Mega-Lockdown…

Now we will try the Radical Lockdown. Or the Mother of All German Lockdowns, if you prefer.

Lockdown

We’re going to shut down your supermarkets this time too. We’re going to smoke you out, so-to-speak. Are you ready to rebel yet? I mean, come on. How much longer are you going to take this shit from us, people?

Germany imposes strict lockdown over Easter – “We are in a new pandemic” due to the spread of coronavirus variants, Chancellor Angela Merkel has said. German federal and state leaders have agreed on a radical shutdown over the Easter holidays.

“We are in a very, very serious situation.”

Yes, we (as in you) are. Germany has a government that is completely incompetent and the Germans are still doing whatever they are told to do.