What a great step forward!

Into the brave new renewable energy future. The German government has announced it will spend €16 billion to build four major natural gas plants to meet the electricity demand their beloved renewable energy technology simply can’t meet.

A brilliant move, and long expected. Overdue, actually. You see, wind and solar power are so unreliable that you must always build a second “dirty” system (CO2 is a BAD “pollutant,” remember?) to back them up. This way you get to spend twice as much as you would have if you had only used the dirty system to begin with. Or, heavens forbid, if you had used nuclear energy to begin with (it doesn’t produce any CO2). This way, in other words, you can save the planet with one hand while you continue to pollute it with the other.

After scrapping nuclear reactors, Germany to spend billions on new gas power plants – The fossil fuel expansion is needed to ensure long-term energy security, according to industry and the government.

In a statement Monday, officials said the new strategy came “in addition to the consistent expansion of renewable energies,” and was key to ensuring steady power supplies “even in times where there is little sun and wind.”

We couldn’t have gone into recession without you

Without you not being here – about 20 sick days a year.

A study says that in 2023, 5.5 percent of German employees were absent every day due to illness. Sickness-related absences caused 26 billion euros of damage in 2023. Without them, Germany would not be in recession.

“At least for 2023, Germany will be the ‘sick man’ in the truest sense of the word, whose economic performance will be significantly more affected by the wave of illness than in other countries.”

German of the day: Fehlbetrag

That means shortfall, deficit, missing amount.

You know, like when a government can’t burn the money it wants to burn because it already turned it to ashes?

Shortfalls could challenge Germany’s generosity – Germany has been one of the biggest spenders in the world on everything from social welfare to foreign aid. But national income has fallen and Germany’s government is dealing with a budget shortfall.

Worthless currency?

You mean like the euro?

Or are you talking about the dollar?

Why are Germans hoarding billions of useless deutsche marks?

As everything seems to be getting more expensive through inflation, many Germans have a secret stash of cash at home. They’re holding on to their long-expired currency instead of exchanging it. What are they waiting for? …

Though these marks can no longer be used, they can be traded for euros.

This, too, will help reduce CO2

And that’s the main thing.

German industrial output drops unexpectedly in November – German industrial production fell unexpectedly in November by 0.7% compared to the previous month, the federal statistics office said on Tuesday.

As reported earlier, this only confirms that the Green plan to shut down Germany in order to save the planet is running like clockwork.

Ukraine and Israel top the list!

When it comes to record German weapons export recipients.

€11.7 billion ($12.8 billion) in 2023. Wow. Not bad for a pacifist country.

German weapons exports reached record high in 2023 – Germany’s government authorized more arms exports in 2023 than ever before, according to preliminary figures disclosed to lawmakers last month.

The war in Ukraine partly fueled this uptick, with exports to Kyiv more than doubling compared to 2022. The record-breaking volume follows the government’s commitment to placing tougher restrictions on arms sales, a promise from the campaign trail.

“Based on fraudulent information?”

No way. Emission certificate fraud? For fraudulent emissions?

The Chinese would never do that.

German authority probes alleged Chinese emission certificate fraud – Listed project coordinates show only desert on Google Maps.

The German Emissions Trading Authority is looking into allegations of irregularities in an undisclosed upstream emission reduction project in China, the body told Nikkei Asia.

The move comes after allegations by German biofuel producers that upstream emission reduction (UER) certificates issued by the authority, known as DEHSt, to some international fossil fuel companies for their emission curtailment projects in China were based on fraudulent information.

Your can hardly get any customers to visit your restaurant now?

I know! We’ll increase the sales tax so nobody comes to your restaurant at all anymore.

No need to thank us. We’re from the government and we’re here to help.

German budget woes trigger disaster warnings for restaurants – Owners who oppose return to higher pre-pandemic VAT rate are dismissed as scaremongers by economists.

Kemal Üres, owner of a tapas bar in Hamburg, has spent the past year telling his social media followers that thousands of businesses like his will be destroyed by a planned tax increase.

The man who calls himself the “Gastroflüsterer”, or restaurant whisperer, is campaigning to make the pandemic-era cut in value added tax on restaurant meals permanent. Otherwise, the German government’s decision to raise VAT from the 7 per cent rate in place since 2020 back up to 19 per cent in January would lead to higher prices, job cuts and as many as 30,000 bankruptcies, he said.

We did it!

My back is starting to hurt from all the patting I’ve been giving it.

We’ll just get around that old debt brake six months from now by declaring another “unforseen emergency” for more debt our high court can’t stop us from making. We’ve even announced what that unforeseen emergency will most likely be: Ukraine.

Germany clinches last-minute 2024 budget deal, keeps debt brake – Germany’s government clinched a last-minute deal on its 2024 budget on Wednesday that will see Berlin return to its self-imposed limits on new debt despite warnings this could hamper growth in Europe’s top economy and its green transition.

Chancellor Olaf Scholz’s three-party coalition was faced with either suspending what is known as the debt brake or finding some 17 billion euros ($18.3 billion) in savings and tax hikes after a Nov. 15 constitutional court ruling threw its plans into disarray…

Others said the deal simply delayed a necessary decision on how to fund investments in an economy that has already suffered years of chronic underinvestment. Last month’s court ruling has made clear the government will not be able to resort as easily to off-budget funds going forwards.

German of the day: Wärmepumpe

That means heat pump.

You know, the warming device that needs government subsidies to get anyone to install it (promised subsidies that will now no longer be offered)?

German heat pump rollout at risk as government suspends climate subsidies – Move could also undermine nine funding programmes, covering schemes from energy efficient homes to cargo bikes provision.

Nine funding programmes, covering everything from energy efficient homes to cargo bikes for commercial use, are now on hold as Olaf Scholz’s coalition government seeks to make savings of about €17bn (£15bn).

The government was thrown into a quandary last month over how to finance its ambitious environmental and industrial transformation programme (KTF) when the country’s highest court blocked its attempts to switch €60bn of pandemic-era borrowing to pay for it.