Category Archives: History

Go for the Gauck

June 8, 2010 By in History Tags: , , , , , , 4 Comments

Grassroots political activism in action – again.

Not particularly interested in Christian Wulff, the presidential candidate the current ruling coalation is pushing through, German internet activists are activating the Internet for Mr. No Chance in Hell Joachim Gauck instead.

More power to ya, folks, but he’s just too impartial and unconnected and doesn’t have a chance, like I said. But hey, do the right thing. You never know. Like the German saying goes: You don’t have a chance, so use it.

“Gauck has a rich life story shaped by the Cold War. At the age of 11, his father was arrested by communist authorities and sent to the Gulag in Siberia. After the Berlin Wall fell, Gauck ran the state-run archives on the Stasi, earning recognition for exposing the crimes of the dreaded East German secret police.”

Zentral Park it ain’t

May 10, 2010 By in History Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Although it’s about the same size. Tempelhof was a pretty cool airport though.

 But the bulldozers aren’t finished with Tempelhof just yet. Starting in 2013, the new park will undergo a four-year, 60-million-euro ($48 million) facelift to become the home of the 2017 International Garden Exhibition. By then, it should look a lot more like its storied New York counterpart.

Fine Young Bureaucrats

May 6, 2010 By in History Tags: , , , , 3 Comments

The new “Topography of Terror” documentation center opened in town today.

Who exactly were the men who planned and administered the Nazi crimes?

The index cards cover an entire wall, several hundred of them in pink, beige or green, containing names, dates of birth and handwritten notes. They are the details of some of the 7,000 former employees of the Reichssicherheitshauptamt, the amalgamation of the feared SS paramilitary group and Gestapo secret police force — the men who worked at the very epicenter of the Nazi terror regime.

We surrender already!

April 21, 2010 By in History, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Just stop holding hands and singing We Shall Overcome!

Not even those rugged German army types can take this kind of abuse forever. After years of moaning and sniveling and peaceniking about saving the heath and health of the so-called “Bombodrom” in Kyritz-Ruppiner Heide near Berlin, the Bundeswehr has finally rolled over and decided to close down its infamous military training area.

It had been a shocking Vorgang (course of events) or something. They actually practiced dropping bombs here once, I think. Maybe twice. Fake bombs of course, but still. Damn, where is the Bundeswehr going to drop their fake bombs now?

Bundesverteidigungsminister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg (CSU) erklärte in Berlin, die Bundeswehr löse diesen Standort mit seinen 80 Mitarbeitern vollständig auf.

Ossi ethnicity?

April 16, 2010 By in History, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Well, it’s official now. Turned down for work in the German West because she hailed from the German East, a woman took the company to court on racial, or at least ethnic, discrimination charges – and lost.

No ethnic group, no tribal breaks here, Easties. Nice try though. If you are an Ossi (East German), you stay one. So like wake up and smell the Kaffee. Life’s a Schlampe and then you die. Get used to it already. You’re now just like the rest of us out there who aren’t like the rest of us out there, I mean you (out there). That’s life. Here’s a hanky. Blow your nose. Now go out and get a job in Friedrichshain or in Dresden or in some other awful place like that. OK, I’m finished.

Als Gabriele S. vor Monaten ihre Bewerbungsunterlagen zurückbekam, prangte neben dem Lebenslauf der handschriftliche Vermerk des Fensterbauers. “(-) Ossi!”. An mehreren Stellen stand “DDR”. Eine üble Diskriminierung?

Pakistan ist eben anders

March 19, 2010 By in Hate, History Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Pakistan is just different, you know. Than Germany, I mean.

I was at a the hairdresser, an elderly man who doesn’t resort to electric clippers. All he has is a creaky pair of scissors, a comb and aerosol with water. He did a neat job bit I wasn’t entirely happy.

I said: “I look like Hitler.”

He looked at me in the mirror, gave a satisfied smile and said: “Yes, yes, very nice.”

In the Islamic world, not just in Pakistan but right across from Iran to northern Africa, anti-Semitic sentiment of course plays a role.

665 million marks won’t buy you what it used to

March 11, 2010 By in History Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Especially when you find them strewn along the side of the A10 near Berlin, wrapped up in little aluminium packets.

And especially when you consider that nobody here pays with marks anymore. And especially so when they’re the old Reichsmark type issued between 1913 and 1923.

Maybe this was a foiled caper by those great poker tournament robbery robber guys. Maybe it wasn’t.

Hinweise auf den Besitzer des Geldes fanden sich nicht.