German Of The Day: Dirndl

A dirndl (German: [ˈdɪʁndl̩] ( listen)) is a type of traditional dress worn in Austria, South Tyrol and Bavaria. It is based on the traditional clothing of Alps peasants. Dresses that are loosely based on the dirndl are known as Landhausmode (“country-inspired fashion”).

This down here is not one of them.

Dirndl

Ein Gespenst geht um in Deutschland. Es trägt ein langes dunkles Gewand, das nur die Augen ausspart.

Burkini Lady Sues

After being harassed at a swimming pool in a place called Bad Saarow in Brandenburg. All bads sarrow* on whether she’ll be getting legal satisfaction or not. And no, it wasn’t an itsy bitsy teenie weenie burkini kind of burkini she was wearing. That’s the whole problem, I guess.

Burkini

And speaking of teenies (just barely)… Are the hundreds (thousands?) of child brides in Germany going to sue next? To not have to be forced to go through with these ordeals, I mean? Stupid question. They’re way too young to be allowed to do that.

An anonymous teacher told newspaper Welt am Sonntag that young girls often suddenly stop showing up to school after getting married.

In Deutschland verschwinden immer öfter Mädchen aus der Schule, weil sie verheiratet wurden. Der Kinderschutzbund fordert, das Ehealter grundsätzlich auf 18 Jahre festzulegen – ohne Ausnahmen.

* Bets are off. Get it?

Pokémon Go Home

Please.

Pokémon Go

“The game has gotten off to a good start in Germany. More than 7.7 million people, that’s 11 percent of the population, have downloaded and installed the app. By way of comparison, in Great Britain it’s 13 percent, 5.4 million of these players still playing. 34.4 million Americans have downloaded Pokémon Go and 30.8 million of them are still actively on the hunt. 10 million have made purchases through the app.”

In Deutschland hat das Spiel einen starken Start hingelegt. Mehr als 7,7 Millionen Menschen, also 11 Prozent der Bevölkerung, haben die App heruntergeladen und installiert.

Would Kilgore Trout Tell A Lie?

It’s special ebook offer time again already, folks. Deal with it.

Dumb Deutsch

Dumb Deutsch: Absurd German Language Errors (auch für deutsche Leser geeignet)

Also at iTunes, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, etc. For a limited time only or something.

“Very funny book, relating dumb things people say while trying out their high school German. Laughing so hard at my normally quiet workplace I had tears in my eyes, my boss walked by and asked if I was OK. Oh yeah! She has a great sense of humor with an eye toward languages. Buy this book and laugh yourself silly!”

Kilgore Trout

German Intelligence At Its Best

I mean like that spy kind of intelligence intelligence, you know what I mean?

Sleepeer Cell

A top official at Bavaria’s department of the Office for the Protection of the Constitution has gone way out on a limb and said that ISIS sleepers “may have arrived as refugees” in Germany. “We have irrefutable evidence that there is an ISIS command structure that makes an attack in Germany highly possible.”

He also said in a later comment that “The risk is abstract, but very high that the Pope is a Catholic.”

“Das Risiko ist zwar abstrakt, aber sehr hoch. Wir müssen akzeptieren, dass wir Hit-Teams und Schläferzellen auch hier in Deutschland haben.”

“This Is Our Street”

The times they are a changin’ in Berlin.

Berlin

“Residents on Soldiner Straße in Gesundbrunnen (Wedding) called the cops on Monday night because children were playing inside a car and had started up the motor repeatedly. A crowd of some 70 people formed around the officers and began behaving aggressively, threatening them. In the early afternoon two days later, also in Gesundbrunnen, a 23-year-old man began interfering with officers who were investigating an infringement. The conflict got physical and one officer was injured. During the arrest, some 30 people began protesting loudly against the police action.”

Nobody is allowed to mention in this article just who these people are, but I’ll give you a hint: They’re not Germans.

Are we having a no-go area yet? I think these folks need more therapy or something.

Erst vor kurzem bedrohte und bedrängte ein aufgebrachter Mob Berliner Polizisten im Wedding. Nun haben sich in demselben Problembezirk abermals Dutzende Menschen der Polizei in den Weg gestellt.

German Foreign Office Supports Trump

Poor old Frank-Walter Steinmeier. He never was the sharpest knife in the, uh, cupboard. What is more, as Winston Churchill might have put it, “he is a sheep in sheep’s clothing.”

Trump

But worst of all are this guy’s instincts, or the lack of them. By coming out publicly and saying, as he just did, that the world is too complicated for characters like Trump (implying, of course, that only smart folks like Steinmeier HIMSELF are in the position to keep this complicated world of ours running so wonderfully as it is already) he assures that any American voter who hears this and is not quite sure about whether he or she wants to vote for Trump or not just got that much closer to deciding to do so.

„Die Welt ist wahnsinnig kompliziert. Sie braucht Politiker, die sich ihrer Verantwortung bewusst sind; die helfen, die Welt zu verbessern. Wir brauchen keine Anführer, die unsere Welt noch gefährlicher machen.“

German Of The Day: Butt and Fuchs

Butt is a short form for halibut (although in this case it’s just somebody’s name). Fuchs means fox. Not like anybody cares here.

Butt

Linus Butt and Florian Fuchs were part of a German team that destroyed their Canadian opponents 6-2 in a group stage fixture on Saturday in Rio de Janeiro.

Footage shows the two men standing standing with their backs to the camera during the game with the surnames on their shirts side-by-side.

But Twitter immediately reacted with one user, Kris Kristensen, posting the image along with the caption: ‘This one’s for the 12 year old in all of us.’

Poor But Sexy, But Poor

Those were the days. Berlin used to be just (arm aber sexy) poor but sexy.

Poor

Now Berlin is poor but sexy, but poor. At least when it comes to trying to earn a living here.

The German capital pulls down the per capita income for the entire country. According to Eurostat (the European statistics office), Germany’s gross national product (with an emphasis on gross) would climb 0.2 percent if they could just find a way to factor out losers like us here in Berlin.

Poor? Yo capital is so poor it can’t afford to pay attention.

Die Hauptstadt drückt auf das Pro-Kopf-Einkommen der gesamten Bundesrepublik: Das Bruttoinlandsprodukt je Einwohner würde um 0,2 Prozent steigen, wenn man Berlin und seine Einwohner ausklammert, wie das Institut der deutschen Wirtschaft (IW) auf Basis von Daten des Europäischen Statistikamtes Eurostat errechnete.

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