Or Maybe It Does Stink (Our Debt)
What, me worry?
The German debt agency was forced to retain almost half of a sale of 6 billion euros due to a shortage of bids by investors, sparking fears that Europe’s debt crisis is now even starting to threaten Berlin.
The German government is still resisting calls (from France and elsewhere) to allow the ECB to act more decisively.
“It is a complete and utter disaster,” one financial expert dude in London said. “And everybody has hurt feelings,” I replied. “And that’s the main thing.”
It’s starting to get ugly, folks, in other words. Uh, are we having a panic yet?
“The debt crisis is burrowing ever deeper, like a worm, and is now reaching Germany.”
Our Debt Doesn’t Stink
I got your role model for you right here. Do as we say, folks. Not as we do.
So far the German government has based its budget forecasts solely on the presumption of strong economic development.
What Do You Mean You Won’t Buy Our Stuff Anymore?
Europe’s largest economy, may slow to a near standstill next year as the region’s debt crisis saps demand for exports.
You know that scene in Austin Powers when Dr. Evil says an evil funny and he and his evil cronies start laughing loudly in a sinister fashion and just laugh and laugh and laugh and then finally stop laughing because, well, you just can’t keep on laughing like that forever, no matter how evil the joke?
Well it’s the same thing with German Schadenfreude about being fein raus (off the hook) and everybody else out there doing the suffering, economically speaking. You can only enjoy that Schadenfreude for so long, folks. So like export a few more good chuckles out of this while you can.
“The global economic recession triggered by the international financial crisis will be long-term.”
Toss Out Them There German Wetbacks Now!
Well it’s about freakin’ time somebody did something about the German illegal alien menace to the U s of A, I say.
Go Alabama. Run with it. That state’s tough new law targeting illegal immigrants seems to be working even better than expected. A German Mercedes-Benz manager thought he’d try and outsmart us (as in US) by driving around the countryside without a proper driver’s license. When an officer of the law stopped him and asked to see one, the German tried pulling a fast one by pulling out his namby-pamby German identification card. Needless to say he was immediately arrested and taken downtown for questioning (if there is such a thing as downtown in Alabama).
Dumm gelaufen (tough luck), pal. We ain’t the boy scouts here, mein Freund. We’re the Alabama State Police.
The 46-year-old executive was charged with violating the immigration law for not having proper identification, but he was released after an associate retrieved his passport, visa and German driver’s license from the hotel where he was staying.
Silvia A.
British Selfish, Germans Bossy
British Prime Minister David Cameron just can’t wait to visit German Chancellor Angela Merkel in Berlin today. Honest.
They really like each other. Really. Despite the clashing views on the euro and the suspicion and the reproaches and the German bashing and the Schadenfreude and those behind the scenes upbraids and the secret plans and those numerous ugly encounters on the football field (some call it soccer) we have all had to watch because we just can’t look away.
Geez. Why can’t everybody be more down-to-earth and even-keeled and well-liked like us Americans?
“We are sick of you criticizing us.”
Our Wind Farms Would Work Just Great
It’s just that we don’t have the cables to bring the energy to shore (nor the money to lay them).
The network operator building those giant offshore wind farms planned to be a “supporting column” in Germany’s coming-one-day-but-not-in-any-way-near-there-yet energy turnaround, is no longer able to continue “work as usual.”
Like the Dutch government before them, having learned that offshore wind power is too expensive and that it cannot afford to subsidize the entire cost, the good folks at TenneT TSO GmbH are now about to throw in the towel, seemingly unable to find financing in the private sector that would allow them to continue their over cost and behind schedule project (it’s probably them damned durn banks doing this again, or that 1%).
The connection from Water World (Wind World?) back to Planet Earth has turned out to be more complicated and expensive than politically correct planners had originally thought, in other words, provided they had even thought about it at all.
But don’t worry, Green Shirt ideologues have already assured us that “If Tennent can’t swing the offshore development, somebody else can.” Money seems to be no object here, you see. When it’s not yours, I mean.
“Wenn Tennet den Offshore-Ausbau nicht schultern kann, müssen andere ran.”
Bond, Sovereign Bond
So, is it time for the sweet poison or the silver bullet? Germany (or one German) is the last man standing and it’s time to pay up or shut up.
Can Germany (and Germany’s “independent” Bundesbank President Jens Weidmann) jump over its/his shadow and allow the European Central Bank to become the lender of last resort in Europe’s never-ending efforts to prop up the euro?
Pump up the volume already. Half a dozen bailout packages and half a trillion euros later, Greece is closer to leaving the euro zone than ever before and Italy now seems bound for bankruptcy, too. Who’s next? And where’s the money? It looks like Europe’s arsenal is down to one last taboo here: Let the ECB vouch for all of the outstanding debt of the debtor nations, “permanently, to an unlimited extent and in violation of all applicable laws.” Germany, for some strange (and wonderful) reason, is still against doing this.
You know the deal, my fellow Americans. It’s the easy way out: “Print money and drown the debt crisis in a sea of liquidity.” Look what its done for us – so far.
Hey look, I don’t know much about economics (nor do at least half of the world’s economists, for that matter), but I do know that if President Barack Obama, President Nicolas Sarkozy and European Commission President José Manuel Barroso are all urging the Germans to abandon their resistance to the ECB plan, it’s probably best for the rest of us out there if this Weidmann guy sticks to his guns. I wouldn’t bet money on him doing so, though. And I certainly wouldn’t bet using the euro.
He mechanically recited the traditional mantras of the Bundesbank: “independence,” “a culture of stability” and “credibility.”
Speaking Of Government In Action
Or was it government inaction?
Here’s my personal favorite when it comes to the best (as in worst) cases of German tax revenue negligence for 2011 (so far):
The Bundeswehr stores 227 million rifle cartridges having a combined worth of 116 million euros. At least 40 percent of these cartridges have been stored improperly, however, they are now corroded and can no longer be used and will cost the German taxpayer approximately 46 million euros.
Actually, though, if you think about it, it’s surprising that the Bundeswehr doesn’t have to throw away more corroded ammunition than they already do.
Der Schaden beläuft sich auf 1,5 Milliarden Euro.
Observing Hermann 