This Gives “Please Keep Off The Grass” A Whole New Meaning

May 14, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Higher Education, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Cannabis, Drugs, Görlitzer Park, Germany, Grass, Kottbuser Tor, Kreuzberg, Marijuana, Pot, Puns 1 Comment

More budding crime in Kreuzberg. I bet the Greens planted this stuff. Or maybe some other dope. What a bunch of crackpots.

Kreuzberg is a really seedy district, you know. And these weren’t even potted plants. They just found this stuff among the weeds. I tell you, this town is really going to pot…

I got a million of ’em, folks!

Dass in Berlin-Kreuzberg öffentlich ein Joint geraucht wird, ist nichts Besonderes. Aber bei mehreren hundert Cannabis-Pflanzen auf einer öffentlichen Grünanlage wird dann selbst in Berlin die Polizei aktiv.

Even The Germans Are Figuring Out That ADHD Is A Hoax

April 1, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Health, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: ADHD, Disease Mongering, Doctors, Drugs, German, Germans, Germany, Medication, Ritalin Leave a comment

The use of Ritalin for ADHD (ADHS in German) in Germany is now sinking for the first time in 20 years. And this despite the fact that more and more adults are now using it.

German families and even German doctors themselves are now coming to the shocking conclusion that not every German child with the fictitious disease needs to be prescribed a real medicine for it. So like, what do they do now? And how are they going to break it to the kids?

Some sociologists consider ADHD to be an example of the medicalization of deviant behavior, or in other words, the turning of the previously non medical issue of school performance into a medical one.

“ADHD is a prime example of a fictitious disease.”

ALDI?

January 7, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Humor Tags: ALDI, Bananas, Berlin, Cocaine, Columbia, Drug Busts, Drugs, German, Germans, Germany, Supermarkets Leave a comment

As in ALDI drugs you want?

Workers at five stores in and around Berlin were surprised to find cocaine packed into crates of bananas on Monday. Olaf Schremm, the head of Berlin’s anti-drugs squad said the crates had come from Colombia via the German port of Hamburg and the discovery was “pure chance”.

140 Kilo Kokain wurden in Aldi-Filialen in Berlin sowie in Velten (Oberhavel) entdeckt. Das Rauschgift war in Bananenkisten verpackt. Den Ermittlern zufolge handelt es sich um den größten Berliner Drogenfund seit Jahren.

Poor But Sexy But Stoned

November 29, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes Tags: Amsterdam, Berlin, Cannabis, Counterculture, Drugs, German, Germans, Germany, Law, Marijuana, Poor But Sexy, Pot, Weed 2 Comments

Actually, depending upon who you choose to believe, Berlin isn’t nearly as poor but sexy as it used to be.

But that still leaves the stoned part (he said leaves). Talk about that counterculture paradise we were addressing yesterday. Councillors in Berlin Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg have now voted to launch the city’s/country’s first cannabis cafe in their district. See what happens.

I had no idea you could drink the stuff in your coffee, though.

German law prohibits the public sale of narcotics, but exceptions are possible “for scientific or other purposes in the public interest”.

Every German Drinks 137 Liters Of Alcohol And Smokes 1008 Cigarettes

April 3, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Addiction, Alcohol, Berlin, Cigarettes, Crystal Meth, Drugs, German, Germans, Germany, Health 1 Comment

Not all at once, however. They mean on average.

But don’t be alarmed. These numbers are bound to drop soon because crystal meth is getting more and more popular here all the time, too.

Der Stoff macht aggressiv, fördert die Gewaltbereitschaft, kann zu Wahnvorstellung führen und endet mitunter im Suizid. Vor allem macht die Droge sehr schnell psychisch abhängig.

This Just In: The Taliban Is Violent And Yucky

November 4, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hate, Health, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Afghanistan, Berlin, Drugs, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Ideology, Islam, Religion, Taliban, Terror, Terrorists Leave a comment

Infidel is in, again. Or at least it is for the 27-year-old German who had travelled to Waziristan with his wife intending to free the area from the “infidel occupiers” after they had converted to Islam.

He has now returned to Germany because, well, he was “disheartened by the violence and annoyed with the group’s macho and drug-taking world.”

The former fighter also complained of the unhygienic conditions in the war-torn lands of Pakistan’s Waziristan province and Afghanistan that left him infected with hepatitis, and which were, in his opinion, “incompatible with the teachings of the Koran”.

Holy crap. The Taliban is violent? Wow, like nobody had told me about that either, dude. We feel your pain (in the ass). So welcome back to the real, as in infidel world.

What Germans Want

July 4, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hi-tech, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Artificial Insemination, Berlin, Bestiality, Drugs, Genocide, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Polls, Satire, Sex, Surveys 1 Comment

An online German government poll has just found out that Germans want legalized dope, a ban on sex with animals, more home births, a ban on genocide denial and more affordable artificial insemination, although not necessarily in that order.

Of course nobody asked how they would feel about the possibility of getting rid of online polls like these one day, but give them some time.

The online poll is part of an ongoing government initiative called “Dialogue on the Future” that aims to get ordinary Germans thinking about how to improve life in Germany.

PS: And in another survey it turns out that 57.6 of German women asked would rather watch “Sex and the City” (TV) than have sex.

Talk About Your Christmas Spirit

December 12, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Christmas Markets, Drugs, German, Germans, Germany, Poison, Santa Claus, Spiked Drinks, Weihnachtsmärkte 1 Comment

Would you accept a free drink from a total stranger? Hell yeah, I would (it’s not like anybody is ever going to offer me one).

But Berlin police say this is not a good idea these days, as a man serving vodka-schnapps spiked with a date-rape drug is causing nausea and hurt Christmas feelings at that Berlin Christmas market nearest you.

So you better be good, you better not pout. Just say no. Ho, ho, ho.

Jüngst war der Täter als Weihnachtsmann verkleidet.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Drugs