Tag Archives: Elections

The Amazing Disappearing Political Party

September 25, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Who says that in-fighting and a complete absence of credibility, character, policy, tactics or strategy can’t get you anywhere? It got Germany’s Pirate Party to nowhere fast. So you better take one quick look at them while you still can.

They’re down to five percent in the polls at the moment, and sinking fast. But let’s move on now and just try to remember them for all the good things they accomplished while they were still here among the living (hell if I know, I thought you might have).

Die Piraten liegen einer neuen Umfrage zufolge nur noch bei fünf Prozent und müssen damit um den Einzug in den Bundestag bangen.

How To Throw In The Towel And Do A Comeback In Just Five Short Months!

May 14, 2012 By in Habitudes, Helections, High Art, Home Cooking Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Before.

And after.

A lot can happen in five (5) months. Well a lot sure did for this guy.

The FDP, which supports free markets and low taxes, has traditionally been a kingmaker in German politics… Frustrated with his party’s squabbling leadership, he (Christian Lindner) stepped down as general secretary of the FDP on a national level late last year. But in March the party picked him as its lead candidate in state legislative elections in North Rhine-Westphalia, and got an immediate boost in national opinion polls.

Ya Gotta Have Dreamers

April 6, 2012 By in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, History, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

The FDP (Free Democratic Party) may now be fighting for its very survival again in Germany, but this is certainly nothing new. They have always had it tough here, and with good reason: They are the only classical liberal (as in free market) party to be found here for miles around.

The astounding thing about the FDP is that they can even get any votes at all in Germany. Terms like “free market” and “privatization” make most Germans cringe. And if they absolutely positively have to use bad words like that, they prefer more watered-down terminology like “Soziale Marktwirtschaft” instead, an imaginary German construction promising “a middle path between socialism and laissez-faire economic liberalism.” Socialism, in other words.

Anyway, with a big state election coming up in North Rhine-Westphalia next month (end of the month?), the FDP is now pulling out its big guns, as little as they are. Or at least one or two FDP politicians are. One guy called Frank Schäffler, for instance, has seriously suggested a radical program change to include “the elimination of all state aid and the partial privatization of the state-run public broadcasting services ARD and ZDF” in Germany. The key words here are “in Germany,” folks. 

Is this guy a visionary or just plain deranged?

Dream on, FDP. But please, keep on dreaming.

„Mehr Mut zu Recht und Freiheit“

It’s OK That Obama Got Caught Saying That

March 27, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Der Spiegel rushes to tell us.

Because other politicians have been caught on mic saying bad things, too.

Only they were bad. So there.

“Nach meiner Wahl habe ich mehr Flexibilität.”

Gazprom Gerd Strikes Again

March 7, 2012 By in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Former chancellor Gerhard Schroeder (SPD) is always good for popping a cork or two.

This time he’s ruffled a few German feathers by getting all warm and fuzzy about his good old buddy Vladimir Putin again. More specifically about Putin’s stunning (not) election victory over the weekend, praising him for being the “flawless democrat” that he is.

But this is nothing new. Schroeder has always been generous with praise for Putin. Especially since landing that 1 million euro-per-year consulting job from him at Gazprom’s Nord Stream consortium – just a few months (weeks?) after having left office.

It’s the gas, stupid.

Wes Brot ich ess, des Lied ich sing.

Republicans Hurting European Feelings Again

January 9, 2012 By in Habitudes, Helections, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

And when they’re not doing that they’re hurting each other’s feelings – by calling each another too European. Yikes. Talk about hitting below the belt (but somebody’s got to do it).

It’s a scandal or something. And I’m shocked, I guess (I really thought they would have more powerful stuff than this). But some of these are pretty good, actually:

“Obama wants to turn the US into a European welfare state.”

“I don’t believe in Europe. I believe in America.”

“I don’t think Europe is working in Europe. I know it won’t work here.”

“You want to see America after the Obama administration is through, just read up on Greece.”

“Obama has a European social democratic vision.”

“American elites are guided by their desire to emulate the European elites. As a result, anti-religious values and principles are coming to dominate the academic, news media and judicial class in America.”

“The president said he wants to fundamentally transform America. I kind of like America. I’m not looking for it to be fundamentally transformed into something else. I don’t want it to become like Europe.”

Recently, RC Hammond, the spokesman for Newt Gingrich’s campaign, commented on Mitt Romney’s alleged support for a value added tax. “The fact that he’s willing to look at European Socialism shows just how far out of the conservative mainstream he is.”

Just In Case You Didn’t Know Who To Vote For

December 1, 2011 By in Habitudes, Helections, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , 5 Comments

Der Spiegel http://www.spiegel.de/international/world/0,1518,800850,00.html (sorry, having trouble with the posting today) has put together a highly nuanced and in depth political analysis about US Republican presidential candidates. It is called “A Club of Liars, Demagogues and Ignoramuses.”

 Here are just a few of the more insightful insights:

The current crop of candidates have shown such a basic lack of knowledge that they make George W. Bush look like Einstein (so like they don’t like Einstein, or what?).

They lie. They cheat. They exaggerate. They bluster. They say one idiotic, ignorant, outrageous thing after another (good thing we have the Democrats as an alternative).

The US elections are a reality show after all, a pseudo-political counterpart to the Paris Hiltons, Kim Kardashians and all the “American Idol” and “X Factor” contestants littering today’s TV (I don’t get this but it sounds like it must be astute or something).

The Grand Old Party is ruining the entire country’s reputation (uh, what reputation are we talking about here anyway?).

…Which goes to show that this “movement” (the Tea Party), sponsored by Fox News, has never been interested in the actual business of governing or in the intelligence and intellect that it requires. They are only interested in marketing themselves, for ratings and dollars (if given the choice I’d take the ratings at the moment).

Americans have a short memory (this one sure does, I’ve forgotten your article already).

Wayne’s World

September 19, 2011 By in Helections, High Art, History Tags: , , , , , , , , , 7 Comments

Kennst Du Wayne? Wayne es interessiert?

Is anybody here really supposed to care that the Pirate Party, “a party in tune with the Berlin vibe” (and a cheap if not even flakier immitation of the Swedish original) attracted enough votes to win its first ever seats in the Berlin state parliament yesterday?

Nothing aginst Internet freedom activist freaks or anything, I just don’t want to have to deal with them in the non-virtual world like this.

Of course the real news is that the FDP (a real live party from Planet Earth) got tossed out. Hey, Scheiße happens.

And here you thought California was the land of nuts, flakes and fruits.

“Wir werden als erstes auf die Laternen klettern und unsere Plakate wieder runterholen.”

Ick bin ein Obama!

September 16, 2011 By in Helections, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , 5 Comments

“Obama and I have very much in common.”

“We are both really good-looking, we are both congenial and we are both able to unleash hype like this. Both of us are very good speakers, we both have leftest ideological positions which we can in no way ever implement and which, I believe, will eventually bring us both to despair.”

“Inhalte überwinden!”

Pressing economic and social problems here in Berlin?

September 15, 2011 By in Habitudes, Helections Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Who cares? It’s election time! And that’s the Berlin equivalent to Karnival, sort of.

So what if Berlin’s unemployment rate is twice that of the national average and its schools are the worst in the country and the S-Bahn (the local commuter rail system) is still broken after three or four years and will remain so indefinitely and cars are set ablaze every night by a group of unknown arsonists who aren’t politically motivated in the least, honest, so what? Berlin is still Berlin, whatever that means. And that’s why everyone will be re-electing Klaus Wowereit on Sunday (or so the experts say – they just love to announce election results beforehand here for some reason).

No, he and his SPD aren’t doing anything about the problems here (malicious tongues would say that they are the problem), but what does that matter in the end? They aren’t doing it with style. Sounds vaguely familiar somehow…

Wowereit himself is their program. The whole city has been covered in posters featuring the native Berliner holding hands with a granny, or having his face bitten by a crocodile glove puppet in a child’s hand. His campaign slogan is “Understanding Berlin” — that’s not much of a vision, but Wowereit doesn’t appear to need one.