Germans Still Dropping Like Flies

At a staggering rate of roughly two (2) deaths per day, Germans are desperately searching for new ways to decrease the Corona death toll.


Their COVID-tracing app not being accepted by the public as they were told to accept it, COVID-prepared hospitals pracically empty, German children attending school regularly again without any Corona irregularities and quadrillions of zillions of stimulus euros planned to be burned both this year and the next, the German public is concerned the government just isn’t doing enough.

There always is the Querkopf (oddball) or two, of course. For example, the chief executive of German health-care group Fresenius has warned that the country may have been overly focused on the pandemic, ignoring other areas of business and society that have suffered.

“Even though a lot has been done in the right way, my criticism is that we have focused too exclusively on the coronavirus and we have ignored all the collateral damage that has been going on and continues to go on.”

Brand New Cutting-Edge German Anti-Racism Technology Introduced

As reported earlier, racism is suddenly and inexplicably a really, really big problem in Germany. Out of the blue like, so-to-speak. No one can figure out how this happened or why this is so but everyone is telling each other it is so so it must be so.


To combat this burning German social issue, inventive German social scientists have come up with a brand new anti-racism technology they refer to as the Menschenkette. It is in essence a “human chain” that is designed, we non-social scientist types must assume, to keep racism from “spreading” any further. You know, kind of like the Corona face masks that used to keep the virus from spreading further but apparently don’t work anymore because none of the people in the Menschenkette are wearing them?

Please pass this on to my fellow citizens in US-Amerika immediately! An innovation like this might just end racism over night.

“Unteilbar”-Demonstration: Menschenkette quer durch Berlin.

“Ward, I’m worried about the Beaver”

Like wow. Who would have thought that?

Klausi the Krokodil turned out to be just another stupid beaver. The hysteria was wonderful while it lasted, though.

Das Phantom-Krokodil «Klausi» hatte die Stadt mehr als eine Woche lang in Atem gehalten. Die beiden Zeugen hatten angegeben, ein etwa ein Meter langes Tier mit langem Schwanz und Krallen gesehen zu haben.

Germans At Their Best

Together we are strong. Let’s turn into a pack of wulffs and kick him when he’s down (OK, wulffs, I mean wolves, don’t kick). Then we’ll kick him when he’s down and out. And then we’ll even kick him when he’s out (just out).

A Grand Tattoo? I thought there for a second that those soldiers were going to turn around, put him up against a wall and shoot him.

There is also a row over the music as President Wulff has requested four pieces, instead of the usual three.