Been There Done That

US student is rescued from giant vagina sculpture in Germany

Vagina

On Friday afternoon, a young American in Tübingen had to be rescued by 22 firefighters after getting trapped inside a giant sculpture of a vagina.

Police confirmed that the firefighters turned midwives delivered the student “by hand and without the application of tools”.

PS: Speaking of the fighting spirit… Jürgen Klinsmann has promised that his USA team will play to win against Germany in their final Group G match on Thursday, even though a draw would be enough to see both teams through to the knockout phase.

American Archaeologist Adventurer Discovers Secret Nazi Treasure While Searching For Ark Of The Covenant

The art world was stunned yesterday by the discovery in Munich of 1,500 lost works of art by a lone wolf treasure hunting hardboiled detective American patriot archaeologist college professor on a quest, wearing a fedora and carrying a bullwhip.

Art

The mysterious professor, Prof. Dr. Dr. Prof. I. Jones, refused to comment on the find other than to say that his discovery “raises fresh questions about the Nazis’ attitude to the modern art they loved to hate.”

Bei dem spektakulären Kunstfund in München sind 1285 ungerahmte und 121 gerahmte Bilder sichergestellt worden. Darunter befinden sich auch bisher unbekannte Meisterwerke wie ein Selbstbildnis von Dix.

We Looted The Loot First

The grand opening of a joint German-Russian art exhibition in St Petersburg was spoiled on Friday when Moscow objected to Angela Merkel’s plan to use her speech to refer to hundreds of looted German works of art looted by Red Army soldiers after the war.

Art

The Germans claim that some 1 million looted objects are still missing, including the Treasure of Priamos, objects looted by the Germans in Troy under the direction of Heinrich Schliemann way back in 1873.

Moscow appears to be open to compromise, but only when the Russian artworks destroyed by German troops during World War II – estimated to be more than 110m books and publications following the plundering of 427 Soviet museums and 4,000 libraries – be returned, as well.

“This is a very touchy question for the societies of both countries. We need to look for solutions, rather than inflating the problem.”

Back Then When The World Was Still In Order

This is just what we need these days: Uplifting communist photography. More specifically, a nostalgic retrospective of art photography produced in communist East Germany.

They just don’t make German democratic republics like they used to.

More Naked Art

Asking for naked volunteers in Germany is kind of like asking if anybody is interested in having some Freibier (free beer). Especially when the nakedness has to do with uplifting Kunst and culture and crap like that. Not to mention, heaven forbid, Richard Wagner himself.

That’s why American photographer Spencer Tunick shamelessly exploited this German schamelessness and painted a whole heap of naked Germans red and gold for his art installation interpretation thingy of scenes from the opera “Der Ring des Nibelungen.”

Art for art’s sake or something. Let’s get nekkid. Boy, I’m arted out for this week. EntARTet, so-to-speak.

Tunick was invited to create the work by the Bavarian State Opera.

Artistic Productions Like This Cost Money You Know

We’re artists. So give us your, I mean our money.

This is what Germans get for a billion euros of arts subsidies each and every year. Jiminy Crickets. I don’t even want to think about what they’d be getting for less.

Please, Berlin. For the love of all that is holy freakin’ cow. Keep those subsidies coming.

“Der Kulturinfarkt: Von allem zu viel und überall das Gleiche.”

Why are they booing?

And what are they booing?

The first movie? The big-budget remake with a message because it wasn’t low-budget enough (the movie, not the message)? History?

Or was this flick, like most of the other films that get shown here every year at the Berlin Film Festival, was it like, well, too political? Nah, that can’t be. What’s more political (or politically correct) than the Berlinale?

I know, maybe it was just another really lousy movie. I mean even by Berlinale standards lousy.

“Ein antisemitischer Film, wie wir ihn uns nur wünschen können.”