Germans Arrive In Tehran For Piece Talks

July 20, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy Tags: Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Iran, Islamic Terrorism, Sanctions, Sigmar Gabriel, Terrorism, Trade 1 Comment

Piece of the pie talks, that is.

Roughly four minutes after a deal with world powers over Iran’s nuclear program was reached, Germany’s Economy Minister Sigmar Gabriel flew down to Tehran (and boy are his arms tired) in another selfless attempt to bring more love and understanding to the troubled region and make tons and tons of money selling German stuff to the moolah-mullahs again in the process.

German exports to Iran hit 4.4 billion euros in 2005 but then slumped to 1.8 billion by 2013 as the West tightened the sanctions imposed over Iran’s nuclear programme. However, the agreement between Iran and six world powers including Germany has opened the prospect that the sanctions will be removed.

German Of The Day: Alleingang

April 19, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anti-Americanism, Environment, Europe, Free Trade, German, Germans, Germany, GM Foods, Language, Paranoia, Protest, SPD, Trade, TTIP, USA Leave a comment

An ancient German tradition, Alleingänge are when Germans, as Germans, go it alone.

In this particular case it has to do with their Empörung (another traditional German word meaning indignation or outrage) about TTIP, a planned free trade deal between Europe and the United States. Strangely, much like their hysterical reaction to Fukushima and subsequent Alleingang out of nuclear power, no one else in Europe really understands what their concern is all about.

These protestors aim to change that, however. Germany’s fellow Europeans, they feel, clearly do not seem to understand what this treaty is really about: It is a planned free trade deal between Europe and the United States. Hello? Is anyone home out there? A trade deal with the United States? As in US-Amerika?

“The U.S. push for world domination is unacceptable. Obama sends out drones to kill people and wins the Nobel peace prize. This has to stop.”

Germans Confused Why Everybody In Europe Wants TTIP Except Them

February 25, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: EU, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Negativity, Paranoia, Polls, Surveys, Trade, Treaties, TTIP 2 Comments

It’s like I say, folks: A real German says no first and asks questions later (that was oddity 255, if you’re interested). And if US-Amerika is involved in the calculation (see TTIP), all bets are off.

“The EU has published a survey according to which citizens are downright euphoric about the free trade agreement TTIP. In all, 25 Member States [of the 28] there will pour sheer enthusiasm over the completely secretly negotiated agreement, but for one small exception: Germans are mostly against the TTIP.”

Die EU hat in Deutschland einen merkwürdigen Zusammenhang zwischen der Befürwortung von TTIP und der „Demokratiezufriedenheit“ der Bürger ausgemacht. In anderen Ländern lasse sich ein solcher Zusammenhang nicht feststellen.

Is The Party Over?

August 6, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hi-tech, Hurt Feelings Tags: Economy, German, Germans, Germany, Industry, Manufacturing, Russia, Sanctions, Trade, Ukraine Leave a comment

While Germany has so far led the regional recovery, it is feeling the pain of increasing political tension. The European Union agreed last week on its widest-ranging sanctions yet over Russia’s backing of rebels in eastern Ukraine. Russia counts Germany as its biggest trading partner in Europe.

“The manufacturing-sector outlook does not look encouraging.”

Die Konjunktur läuft nicht mehr rund – Industrie-Aufträge mit stärkstem Minus seit 2011

From Russia To Iran With Love

August 4, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Books, German, Germans, Germany, Iran, Russia, Sanctions, Trade, Ukraine Leave a comment

From Germany, I mean. It’s complicated.

German businesses are cooling on Russian investments amid anger over Russia’s role in the Ukrainian conflict, while simultaneously warming on another big country hit by Western sanctions: Iran.

According to Küntzel, German leaders have at least two other reasons for helping Iran defy the United States. The first is German resentment of defeat in the Second World War followed by foreign occupation, led by the US. The second reason is that Iran is one of the few, if not the only country, where Germans have never been looked at as “war criminals” because of Hitler.

We Are Not Soft On Russia

March 28, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: China, Crimea, Dependency, Exports, Free speech, Germany, Human Rights, Humor, Putin, Russia, Satire, Trade Leave a comment

Germany said today. “We’re pretty soft on China, though.”

When asked why this is, the craven central European country replied “Well duh. We’re just like real pushovers when it comes to Chinese cash, that’s all. Isn’t every exporting powerhouse? We had a trade volume with China of 140.4 billion euros ($193 billion) last year, after all. That makes them our number 3 trading partner! And here you thought we were just dependent upon Russian gas.”

Asked whether China should stand up more assertively against Russia’s actions in Ukraine, Xi said that “China has no private interests” on the matter and added that Beijing always insists on non-interference in other countries’ internal affairs, as well as respecting nations’ territorial integrity.

Wandel durch Handel

March 20, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Exports, German, Germany, Imports, Profit, Putin Crimea, Russia, Sanctions, Trade, Ukraine Leave a comment

Hey, that rhymes!

It means “change through trade” and applies of course to German trade with Russia. And that policy certainly seems to be working great these days, don’t you think?

There’s more Wandel going on in Russia (and in what’s left of a certain country bordering it) than even the Germans can Handel.

Sanctions and other measures must come step by step, giving Mr Putin chance after chance to stop further escalation.

Give Profit A Chance

March 14, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Crimea, Dependency, EU, Exports, Germany, Imports, Pacifism, Profit, Russia, Trade Leave a comment

Germans just want to live in peace and harmony with Russia, people. Regardless of this Crimea episode or not, I mean. Of course they don’t mind living with the profit coming out of Russia, either. But still.

Here’s a fun fact for you: Germany accounts for a third of the EU’s total exports to Russia. So, well, let’s let Europe speak with one unified voice concerning this matter. As long as it is a voice with a strong German accent, I mean.

The Committee on Eastern European Economic Relations, a lobby group representing big businesses, says that 300,000 German jobs depend on trade with Russia, 6,200 companies with German owners are active in Russia, and German companies have invested €20 billion there. No surprise, then, that the committee’s boss calls sanctions “senseless”.

Germany Still Exporting Too Much Stuff

March 5, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: EU, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Putin, Russia, Satire, Trade, Ukraine Leave a comment

The German export surplus is still threatening the rest of Europe, the European Commission says.

Berlin disagrees, of course, pointing out that it imports tons of stuff, too.

Germany imports 24 percent of Russia’s natural gas exports, for instance, more than any other European country. It also has an 8.7 percent share of Russia’s foreign trade. Germany is also Russia’s biggest oil market, taking almost 700,000 barrels a day back in 2012. No dependency here. So quit the moaning already, Brussels, and let us get back to work.

“Der Handlungsbedarf ist erheblich angesichts der Größe der deutschen Wirtschaft.”

UN Called In To Protect German Cultural Treasure That Gets You Drunk As Shit

December 5, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Home Cooking Tags: Beer, Competition, Drunkenness, German, Germans, Germany, Guilds, Purity, Regulation, Reinheitsgebot, Trade, UN, UNESCO Leave a comment

The Reinheitsgebot may be “intangible” here, but the beer behind it sure isn’t.

German beer brewers have applied to Unesco for their Reinheitsgebot law to join a list of “intangible heritage” that includes Spanish flamenco and Turkey’s Kirkpinar oil-wrestling festival.

Are the blue helmets on the way yet? Blau also means drunk in German, by the way.

But, as Simpson points out, the Reinheitsgebot law’s inception wasn’t about purity. “It was created to free up the baking grains so that there was less competition with the bakers,” Simpson said. “The bakers were up in arms because they felt the brewers were taking all the grains so the Reinheitsgebot restricted the grains that the brewers could use to malt, strictly malted barley.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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