German Man Caught Impersonating A Cardinal After Other German Man Caught Impersonating A Pope

March 6, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, High Art, History, Humor Tags: Catholicism, Early Retirement, Fakes, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Impersonators, Religion, Rome, Satire, The Pope 1 Comment

OK, OK. The German Pope dude actually was a Pope but he did that typical German Frührente (early retirement) thing that Popes don’t normally do so technically speaking you could be a real devil advocating jerk if you wanted to be and claim that the guy never was a real Pope in the first place (and no, of course I’m not Catholic and yes, I clearly don’t have the slightest idea what I’m talking about here – except for that Frührente part).

As for the Cardinal dude, I think he looked rather convincing while hanging out with several unsuspecting eminences in Rome the other day. Except for the sneakers he was wearing, maybe. And his crucifix, which was too short, or so I’m told. And his sash turned out to be just a purple scarf. But still. The Cardinal question here is, well, is not having a life something you can actually make your living at?

He was thrown out by the Swiss Guard after someone noticed his crucifix was too short and his sash was just a purple scarf.

Empörungsprofis

March 5, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anarchy, Berlin, Demonstrations, East Side Gallery, Gentrification, Humor, Protest, Satire, The Berlin Wall 1 Comment

Outrage professionals.

A farce, this “protest movement” at the East Side Gallery. And a well-written article, this is. But sorry, I don’t have the time or the energy to translate it today.

Wo war eigentlich Claudia Roth?

Hoff The Wall

March 4, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, History, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, David Hasselhoff, Demonstrations, East Side Gallery, Gentrification, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Protest, Satire, The Berlin Wall 2 Comments

David Hasselhoff himself, “adored by fans in Germany after his 1989 performance of his song Looking for Freedom on top of the Berlin Wall,” is mad as hell and isn’t going to take it anymore and will now sign a petition opposing the further removal of remnants of the wall at Berlin’s East Side Gallery.

But that’s not the interesting part of this article, I find. The following line is:

He once complained that his role in the reunification of East and West Germany had been overlooked following the fall of the Berlin Wall.

His role in the reunification of East and West Germany? I don’t get it. David Hasselhoff’s roles are always overlooked. That’s just what he does. That’s his trademark, so-to-speak. So let’s move on and overlook his latest role here while we’re at it, too.

“How can you tear down the wall that signifies freedom, perseverance and the sacrifice of human life?”

The British are leaving! The British are leaving!

March 3, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, History, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Allied Forces, Berlin, British Army, Defense, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Military, NATO, Occupation, Satire, The British Army on the Rhine, Timetables, UK Troops Leave a comment

And the German communities they will soon be leaving don’t like it one little bit. It has to do with Kaufkraft (spending power) or something.

Strange, isn’t it? Germans are always the first to demand the quickest possible withdrawal timetable for “foreign” troops (NATO, ISAF, etc.) taking part in peacekeeping operations elsewhere in the world, but then start whining once the foreign peacekeepers in Germany finally have enough already and decide to leave themselves – after nearly seventy years.

Peace is hell.

“Da sind die Auswirkungen nur schwer abzuschätzen.”

Caroline N.

March 2, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Hotness Tags: Caroline Noeding Leave a comment

Beautiful German of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

Remove 20 Meters?

March 1, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, History, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Gentrification, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Protest, Satire, The Berlin Wall 3 Comments

Of a 1.3-kilometer stretch of the Berlin Wall?

And you can still find 300 people who care?

The real issue: This is being done to build a road to a new luxury condominium so, well, the yuppie scum must be behind it again.

“Does culture no longer have any value?”

Big Phasehout Payout On The Way

February 28, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Atomic energy, Berlin, Courts, Energy Turnaround, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Law, Nuclear energy, The Green Shirts Leave a comment

A three-month closure imposed by the government on RWE’s Biblis A and B reactors as an immediate response to the Fukushima accident was illegal, a German court has ruled.

The administrative court for the German state of Hesse has found the state ministry of the environment acted illegally on 18 March 2011 when it issued an order for the immediate closure of the Biblis units.

This decision, as well as a tax on nuclear fuel levied in anticipation of continued operation of nuclear plants before the phaseout decision, have cost German nuclear operators dear: RWE estimated that the phase-out cost the company over €1 billion ($1.3 billion) in 2011 alone.

Any claims for damages against the state of Hesse would be decided in subsequent civil court proceedings.

It Takes One To Know One

February 27, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Berlusconi, Clowns, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Grillo, Humor, Italy, John Kerry, Peer Steinbrueck, Satire, SPD 1 Comment

“Clearly a clown with a testosterone boost” himself, hapless Social Democrat chancellor candidate Peer Steinbrueck just got his dinner invitation cancelled by visiting Italian President Giorgio Napolitano after calling former premier Silvio Berlusconi and comic-turned-politician Beppe Grillo “clowns.” Which they are, of course. But that’s the point. I think.

Speaking of clowns, Germany, never forget that we Americans have a right to be stupid – and that we exercise this right regularly. At least when we’re big important non-elected government officials we do. No matter where we are. No matter what country we happen to be visiting. Imaginary or not.

“The reason is, that’s freedom, freedom of speech. In America you have a right to be stupid — if you want to be.”

Angry Radical Femen Women Showing Their Feminist Thingies All Over The Place These Days

February 26, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, High Art, Hotness, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Boobs, Demonstrations, Femen, Feminism, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Nudity, Protest, Satire, Sex, Topless, Women 3 Comments

Even in Berlin, of all places. And I, for one, find it shocking and disgraceful.

But on the other hand… If this is the only way to unite young women in their striving for the democratic principles of social awareness, political activism and social development, who am I to stand in their way?

„Wir als Frauen erobern die Hoheit über unsere Körper zurück und setzen sie für politische Ziele ein.“

Speaking Of CO2…

February 25, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Climate Change, CO2, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Greenhouse Gas Leave a comment

Not that there is a connection here or anything, but after the German government’s frenzied exit from nuclear power, German greenhouse gas emissions have risen 1.6 percent.

Die Luft wird dicker. Der Ausstoß von Treibhausgasen in Deutschland steigt nach Jahren des Rückgangs wieder spürbar an.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Author Archives: Hermann Observer