They can’t hardly spy on Germans anymore, at home and abroad. With foreigners here it’s not much better. And now…
German intelligence can’t spy on foreigners outside Germany – Germany’s Constitutional Court ruled on Tuesday that monitoring the internet traffic of foreign nationals abroad by the BND intelligence agency partly breaches the constitution.
Sheesh. A lot of German spies are going to need therapy. And worst of all, it doesn’t really matter whether Germans do any spying or not, and they know it. Whenever anything real goes down the tip-offs always come from a “befreundeten Nachrichtendienst” (allied intelligence service) anyway. They never say who this service is because everybody already knows and they’d rather not talk about it.
“A secret service that wants to protect democracy cannot trample on important democratic freedoms.”
Damn. Somebody needs to inform Angela Merkel immediately.
Germany doesn’t have many friends at all, I guess, because they’ve spied on just about everybody out there.
Report: US, Germany spied on countries for decades via Swiss encryption firm – Western intelligence acquired top secret information on global governments through their hidden control of an encryption firm, Crypto AG, according to media reports. Swiss authorities are investigating the allegations.
“The events under discussion started around 1945, and it is difficult to reconstruct them.”
Adolf Hitler ‘Escaped Germany And Fled To Colombia’ Claims Report In Declassified CIA Document
And he joined forces with Bigfoot, like I said, and got help from the Reptilians, too, to conspire to assaisnate JFK. After which they faked the moon landing along with the Iluminati and planned the attacks on 9/11 as an inside job. But before that they released the Hitler diaries over there at the the Stern.
SS-Mann berichtete Agenten, Hitler habe als Adolf Schüttelmayer in Kolumbien gelebt.
Or at least that’s what one intelligent German intelligence official said today. “Wehaveaproventrackrecord.”
“And we can monitor our own elections and watch out on our own for any disinformation spread by Russia, thank you. Without any American help, I mean. That’s because we’re offended. And we want you Americans to know that we’re offended. And you Russians, too. And the rest of the world, for that matter. That’s just how intelligent we are. So write disinformation down in a safe place somewhere and stick it where the sun don’t shine.”
Earlier this month, Adm. Mike Rogers, director of the National Security Agency, said the U.S. watched Russia hack into France’s computer networks during the country’s election. U.S. officials warned their French counterparts of the hacking before it became public.
That means “through the entire line,” as in all down the line, or by all involved, in this case.
So, let’s sum up this Jaber al-Bakr case in Germany: First of all, you have a German intelligence service (BND) that isn’t in the position to know about this guy or his plans on its own – that evil US-AmerikanNSA had to give them the tip. Then you’ve got policemen who let this guy get away during their raid. After that he gets captured, tied up and turned in to the police by three Syrian refugees. And to top it off, the authorities then guarding him let him commit suicide in his cell.
All in all, some top-notch work. All down the line. By all involved.
Einem Medienbericht zufolge hat ein US-Geheimdienst einen entscheidenden Hinweis auf den Terrorverdächtigen Dschaber al Bakr geliefert.
It’s a little number they call “eight years of prison.”
According to German authorities, Reichel spied for both the CIA and the Russian secret service because he was bored, frustrated with his workplace environment and wanted to “experience something exciting.”
Just remember: “When you pay attention to boredom it gets unbelievably interesting.”
Der 32-Jährige begründete die Spionage zu Prozessbeginn mit Frust, Unzufriedenheit und Unterforderung an seinem Arbeitsplatz. “Im BND hatte ich den Eindruck: Da hat man mir nichts zugetraut”, sagte er. Bei der CIA wäre das anders gewesen. Dort hätte er sich beweisen können.
On the one hand, we as German spies only do nice spying and would never spy on friends much less on other other nice Germans like ourselves.
“But on the other hand, intelligence agencies are working to ensure the public’s safety and the German government will do everything it can to ensure that it can carry out its job.
“And this ability to carry out its duties in the face of international terrorism threats is done in cooperation with other intelligence agencies, and that includes first and foremost the NSA.”
Deutschland regt sich über eine Spionageaffäre auf. Dabei wäscht seit Jahrzehnten unter den westlichen Diensten eine Hand die andere. Wir sollten endlich realistisch mit dem Thema Sicherheit umgehen.
Heimatfilm (German pronunciation: [ˈhaɪmatˌfɪlm], German for “homeland-film“; German plural: Heimatfilme) is the name given to a film genre that was popular in Germany, Switzerland, and Austria from the late 1940s to the early 1970s. They were usually shot in the Alps, the Black Forest, or the Lüneburg Heath and always involved the outdoors. These films were noted for their rural settings, sentimental tone and simplistic morality, and centered on love, friendship, family and non-urban life. Also, the polarity between old and young, tradition and progress, and rural and urban life was articulated. The typical plot structure involved both a “good” and “bad” guy wanting a girl, conflict ensuing, and the “good” guy ultimately triumphing to win the girl to the happiness of everyone and the children.
Well that’s cool and all but I guess they’ve tweaked the genre around a bit because they’re going to film the next bunch of “homeland-films” with lots of guns and blood and terror and stuff right here in not so non-urban Berlin itself. But still.
The fifth series will pick up two-and-a-half years after the previous one ended, with main character Carrie Mathison out of the Middle East and in self-imposed exile in the German Capital.
Germany is commemorating the first anniversary of US spying revelations by announcing that its spies will now start doing bad things, too. You know, like spying on friendly intelligence agencies who spy on them?
It may take them some time to get going, however, as German intelligence agencies have never ever considered doing such an awful thing before and don’t have much practical experience in this nasty business. German intelligence agencies are more like German social intelligence agencies, you see. They are more adept at effectively negotiating complex social relationships and environments. In the cutthroat international spying community, I mean.
In Zukunft soll die Spionageabwehr auch befreundete Staaten einschließen: Nach Informationen von SZ, NDR und WDR hat sich die Bundesregierung dazu entschlossen, auch amerikanische und britische Geheimdienste auf deutschem Boden zu observieren.
Gripped with paranoia after the shocking discovery that German information is being intercepted by foreign intelligence services, German counter-espionage experts now demand that all future communication be done using spy-proof “typewriter” technology.
What is more, foreign intelligence services operatives operating in the country have discovered a list indicating that the “typewriter” is only the first new-old anti-spy technology to be introduced in Germany.
The list, taken from an unsupervised “typewriter” (non-electric) in the reception area of the Germany Foreign Ministry, indicates that a whole new wave of old technology is to be introduced in the coming months. Among them will be cassette and eight-track tapes, VCRs, Polaroid instant cameras, the Walkman, carousel slide projectors, ditto machines, Morse code and the abacus. Needles to say, the use of cell phones, microwave ovens and remote control for television will have to be verboten.
“Before I start using typewriters and burning notes after reading, I’d rather abolish the secret services.”
