And This Year’s Winner Of The German Spitzel, Spy And Whistleblower Award Goes To…

When you get the top award in the category of Best Informant from a country like Germany, you know you have most definitley reached the top of your game.

Snowden

And so it comes as no surprise to most Hollywood award-watchers out there that Edward Snowden has just received the German “Whistleblower Prize” in recognition of his “bold efforts” to expose the monitoring of communications data by his trusted, I mean trusting employer.

As we all know, Germany enjoys an incredibly long and rich tradition of abusing individual freedoms, usually in the form of “Spitzel” or spying activity practised between private individuals, regardless of the current political or totalitarian system they may find themselves in, so this prestigeous award immediately skyrockets Snowden to the exalted ranks of the top double-crossing turncoats of recent German, if not world history.

Snowden himself was speechless. But this was mostly because he was not available for comment, nor will he be able to pick up said award for some strange reason, but still.

“Wir sind Edward Snowden außerordentlich dankbar.”

How Secure Is “Email Made In Germany?”

“Boom Triggered By NSA: German Email Services Report Surge in Demand”

Email

But just how secure is email made in Germany? Way Secure.

Email made in Germany is double-triple-quadruple encrypted. And then it gets double-triple-quadruple encrypted again.

Email made in Germany is so secure that an email made in Germany warns you when you try to send it to someone the email made in Germany hasn’t been introduced to yet.

Secure? Why email made in Germany never leaves local servers, thus ensuring that the email made in Germany stays right here in Germany where it belongs verdammt noch mal (dadgummit)!

We’re talking secure here, people. Email made in Germany is so secure that when we say it never leaves local servers we mean it never leaves local servers. Ever. It never even gets delivered at all.

“I would strongly recommend against anyone trusting their private data to a company with physical ties to the United States.”

NSA Now Building Spy Centers All Over Everywhere Anywhere You Can Think Of In Germany As We Speak

I honestly had no idea that Germans were that interesting to spy on, but German journalists certainly seem to think they are these days.

Wiesbaden

Word is that a new and thoroughly evil spying facility is being built in Wiesbaden which will be a base for US intelligence operatives from the NSA itself.

Too bad those party poopers over at there Germany’s BND are already denying it. Not that that matters.

Nach einem Bericht der Frankfurter Rundschau soll es sich beim neuen Komplex in Wiesbaden um ein Abhörzentrum des US-Geheimdienstes NSA handeln.

Indignant Response Pure Hypocrisy?

Here? In Germany?

Merkel

An interview with historian Josef Foschepoth published in the online edition of the Süddeutsche Zeitung makes clear that US intelligence agencies have a free hand to do what they like in Germany, with the knowledge and blessing of the federal government.

The historian regards the indignant response of the German government regarding the spying activities of American and British intelligence services unmasked by Edward Snowden as pure hypocrisy. For a Western intelligence agency, such as the National Security Agency (NSA), there are in principle no limits in Germany.

“The NSA can do everything in Germany. Not only because of the legal situation, but above all because of the intensive collaboration between the services, which was always desired and always politically acceptable.”

The Lives Of Others

Spy

One in two of the country’s (Germany’s) citizens regard Snowden as a hero, according to a June 29 survey of 504 people by Emnid for Bild am Sonntag newspaper.

“It looks like the NSA picked up where the Stasi left off.”

PS: Didn’t this German cop know about his country’s gun control laws?

Gun

He murdered his ex and then killed himself. All of this strictly illegal, of course.

Visit Germany!

If you dare. Then enjoy your short stay here before your extradition back home (home?) to the USA.

Snowden

The Federal Republic of Germany can offer asylum to someone who is being politically persecuted, not to someone who is being sought for criminal offences.

And I if you want to try the refugee angle, Germans define refugees as being those who have a justified fear of being persecuted because of their race, religion, nationality, affiliation to a specific social group or political persuasion. So good luck with that, too.

Of course Germany could let you stay anyway. But that would be it then. With their pious preaching about the Rechtsstaat (rule of law) and how the NSA spy scandal demonstrates how the US does not respect it, I mean.

Ecuador und Island in Österreich, Bolivien, Brasilien, China, Kuba, Finnland, Frankreich, Deutschland, Indien, Italien, Irland, Niederlande, Nicaragua, Norwegen, Polen, Russland, Spanien, der Schweiz und Venezuela.

Die Linke hatte bereits in der vergangenen Woche die Bundesregierung dazu aufgefordert, Snowden Asyl zu gewähren. Am Montag hatten dies auch die Grünen in Spiel gebracht. Snowden solle in der EU oder sogar in Deutschland “sichere Unterkunft haben, denn er hat Europa einen Dienst erwiesen”, erklärte Fraktionschef Jürgen Trittin.

Germans Bugging Americans Now

Germans have begun bugging Americans to no end by bugging them about how bugging friends is unacceptable (OK, OK, certain Americans).

Bugging

Given the high sensitivity of data privacy issues in Germany, which bugs the hell out of everybody already, the NSA spying scandal is bound to give Germans the gift that keeps on giving them ample opportunity to continue bugging us for as long as anyone is still willing to listen and even long after anyone is not.

“Every country in the world that is engaged in international affairs of national security undertakes lots of activities to protect its national security and all kinds of information contributes to that. All I know is that is not unusual for lots of nations.”