Ex-Miss Germany Confirms Ex-Mister Germany Shot By Currently Reigning German Cops

August 26, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Eviction, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Miss Germany, Mister Germany, Police, Reichsbürger 2 Comments

An ex-Miss Germany friend of an el wacko former Mister Germany (who denies the existence of the Federal Republic of Germany) has confirmed that he was shot while being evicted from his home (a little place he calls “Primeval Nation”) during a police action in a town that goes by the name of Zeitz.

Adrian Ursache apparently had started a group of so-called “Reichsbürger”, or citizens of the Reich, who do not recognize the current government of the Federal Republic of Germany and therefore do not believe they should pay taxes or fines.

Up until the cops came to evict him Ursache apparently also refused to recognize the existence of German police weapons, too.

“Adrian war ehrlicherweise immer schon ein bisschen durchgeknallt*, aber dass es so eskaliert, macht uns sprachlos.”

* German of the day: Durchgeknallt. That means cuckoo.

Burkini Lady Sues

August 15, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Burkinis, Child Marriage, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Refugees Leave a comment

After being harassed at a swimming pool in a place called Bad Saarow in Brandenburg. All bads sarrow* on whether she’ll be getting legal satisfaction or not. And no, it wasn’t an itsy bitsy teenie weenie burkini kind of burkini she was wearing. That’s the whole problem, I guess.

And speaking of teenies (just barely)… Are the hundreds (thousands?) of child brides in Germany going to sue next? To not have to be forced to go through with these ordeals, I mean? Stupid question. They’re way too young to be allowed to do that.

An anonymous teacher told newspaper Welt am Sonntag that young girls often suddenly stop showing up to school after getting married.

In Deutschland verschwinden immer öfter Mädchen aus der Schule, weil sie verheiratet wurden. Der Kinderschutzbund fordert, das Ehealter grundsätzlich auf 18 Jahre festzulegen – ohne Ausnahmen.

* Bets are off. Get it?

German Foreign Office Supports Trump

August 10, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Diplomats, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Politicians, Trump, US Presidential Election 1 Comment

Poor old Frank-Walter Steinmeier. He never was the sharpest knife in the, uh, cupboard. What is more, as Winston Churchill might have put it, “he is a sheep in sheep’s clothing.”

But worst of all are this guy’s instincts, or the lack of them. By coming out publicly and saying, as he just did, that the world is too complicated for characters like Trump (implying, of course, that only smart folks like Steinmeier HIMSELF are in the position to keep this complicated world of ours running so wonderfully as it is already) he assures that any American voter who hears this and is not quite sure about whether he or she wants to vote for Trump or not just got that much closer to deciding to do so.

„Die Welt ist wahnsinnig kompliziert. Sie braucht Politiker, die sich ihrer Verantwortung bewusst sind; die helfen, die Welt zu verbessern. Wir brauchen keine Anführer, die unsere Welt noch gefährlicher machen.“

Dial M For Migrant

August 7, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Islamic Terror, Migrants, Refugees, Terrorists Leave a comment

To get the ISIS-ones-now-operating-in-Germany kind, I mean.

The two refugees who launched terror attacks in Germany last month were in contact with suspected members of the militant group Isis, including one with a Saudi phone number, according to reports in the German media on Saturday.

Records of internet communication now in the hands of German investigators show both men, the Afghan teenager Riaz Khan Ahmadzai, and Mohammed Daleel, a 27-year-old Syrian, were advised and directed by Isis, which provided tips on ensuring the maximum number of casualties.

“This area will be full of people. Kill them all.”

Attentäter sollen Anweisungen per Handy erhalten haben.

German Of The Day: Bewaffnete Bürger

August 5, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Gun control, Guns, Language, Self-Defense, Weapons 1 Comment

No, that doesn’t mean Waffle Burger (do you want fries with that?). It means armed citizens.

And yes, believe it or not, many Germans actually own so-called “guns.” Although a lot of them are just Schreckschusswaffen (alarm guns that fire blanks).

And word is out that the number of Germans wanting guns of any kind has increased dramatically the past year or two, for some inexplicable reason.

“As of June 2016, there were 402,301 small arms carry permits in the National Weapons Register,” the Interior Ministry said. The first half of 2015 recorded slightly less than 270,000 requests for permits – that’s an almost 50% jump in permit applications.

Half Of German Army Resigns

August 2, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Army, Bundeswehr, Combat, Conscientious Objectors, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Military, Soldiers 1 Comment

Over 400 German soldiers have filed applications for resignation from the country’s armed forces, leaving the other half to fend for itself all on its own.

“Combat situations are often revelatory moments in which the risk of a soldier’s career – of killing or being killed is often realized for the first time and then experienced in its full scope,” said a Left party Bundeswehr expert when interviewed about the matter.

“That the German army doesn’t ever experience any combat situations like ever at all (as in NEVER) is the really mysterious thing behind all of this,” said another unnamed expert who wasn’t even being interviewed. Or even asked, for that matter. Nor will he ever be, as far as I can figure.

Seit Mitte 2014 wollten 62 Soldatinnen und 407 Soldaten aus Gewissensgründen entlassen werden.

German Of The Day: Bewährungsprobe

July 28, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Angela Merkel, German, Germans, Germany, Islamic Terror, Migrants, Politicians, Refugees, Terror Leave a comment

That means a test. As in a litmus test. As in the proving ground. As in testing times.

Yeah, that’s it. Testing times. And that, according to Chancellor Merkel herself, is what Germany is going through at the moment.

But it ain’t no big deal because, well, no. There still is no Plan B. And yes, “wir schaffen das” (we can do it). “We” meaning “you” in this case, of course. But still.

“Das ist eine Bewährungsprobe. Ich bin überzeugt, dass wir das schaffen.”

Shocking Survey Results Just In

July 26, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Merkel, Migrants, Refugees, Surveys 2 Comments

Who would have thought that? According to the GfK Verein market research company in Nuremberg, 83 percent of Germans asked suddenly consider immigration to be Germany’s biggest challenge, a percentage twice as high as the survey indicated just one year ago. This is also a higher number than in any of the other 23 countries surveyed.

And this is a survey that took place back in February and March, mind you.

What could ever be the cause? And whatever happened to good old-fashioned German Willkommenskultur (welcome culture), anyway?

83 Prozent aller Deutschen bereiten Zuwanderung und Integration Kopfzerbrechen – so vielen wie in keinem anderen der 23 Teilnehmer-Länder der Studie. Im Vergleich zum Vorjahr hat sich der Wert mehr als verdoppelt; damals lag er bei 35 Prozent.

Too Early To Tell

July 25, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Ansbach, German, Germans, Germany, ISIA, Islamic Terror, Journalism, Media, Terror, Terrorists 2 Comments

Again, I mean.

There will be no jumping to conclusions here, dear German readers. It is verboten or something. But we do have to consider the remote possibility that maybe, just perhaps, this latest attack in Ansbach was also an act of Islamic terror (itself). It is too early to tell, however, like I said. And we certainly would not want to hurt anybody’s feelings by doing so.

What is going on in Germany?, the BBC journalist above asks. Well just don’t ask any German journalists if you want to know.

Es „fühlte sich wie Terror an“, muss aber keiner gewesen sein.

Strict German Gun Control Laws Save The Day Again

July 23, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Gun control, Gun Laws, Munich 3 Comments

Without them, this nutcase might have carried out a mass shooting or something.

To own a semi-automatic 9mm Glock pistol like the kind used in the Munich shootings, a citizen would have had to have been over 18, waited a year for his licence and undergone a psychological evaluation.

He owned it illegally, however. So, like, he’s in BIG trouble with the law now.

Der Deutsch-Iraner nutzte für seine Tat eine 9mm Glock-Pistole. Diese habe der 18-Jährige offenbar illegal besessen, da die Seriennummer der Waffe ausgefeilt war, sagte der Präsident des bayerischen Landeskriminalamts, Robert Heimberger. Eine Erlaubnis für die Waffe besaß der Täter nicht.

PS: We all know what the reaction would have been if this had taken place in Kansas City, folks: Stricter gun control laws would have prevented it. It’s all quite irrational, really.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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