Category Archives: High Art

GedächtnisEsser?

November 2, 2014 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

You say ‘tomato’, I say ‘tomato’… You say ‘Wesen‘, I say ‘vessen’…

The stupid creature names are fine. What isn’t, however, is that for the entire duration of the show, every single actor on it has mispronounced the very easy German word for creature…

I kept hearing “vessen” this and “vessen” that, and I had no idea what the characters were talking about, until I saw an episode summary on Hulu with what I surmised was that word written out: Wesen, which literally translates to being or creature (from gewesen, of one of the past-tense forms of the verb to be, sein)…

Trouble is, any German 5-year-old will tell you that word is pronounced VAY-zen, with a V sound (which Grimm gets right), a long E (in the German sense—pronounced like in dreidel), and a soft S (that approximates the English Z).

I’m Taking The Day Off

October 30, 2014 By in High Art Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

Bumgarner

“Ich bin jetzt doch ein bisschen müde”, sagte Bumgarner nach der Partie. Er stand einst nicht in der Schlange, in der Emotionen verteilt wurden; wahrscheinlich war er gerade damit beschäftigt, sich eine zweite Portion jener Fähigkeit abzuholen, einen Baseball möglichst schnell und möglichst genau werfen zu können.

Bumgarner. Hmmm. That’s got French roots, doesn’t it?

Terrorists Are People, Too

October 26, 2014 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Higher Education, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

And it would be wrong to hurt their feelings. So that is why German comedian Dieter Nuhr has been reported to the police for anti-Islamic agitation. In Germany. By a Muslim. This guy had the nerve to make fun of Osama bin Laden himself – and Islamic terrorists and “martyrs” in general.

It is unclear if the Muslim who reported him ever reported Osama bin Laden to the police for anti-Islamic agitation, too. But that is beside the point, many hand-wringing Gutmensch-Germans are already pointing out. Islamic terrorists commit their acts in the name of Islam. So by making fun of them you also insult their religion, or so the reasoning must be. Ever feel like you’ve woken up in Wonderland?

„Ich habe kein Verständnis dafür, dass die bei uns lange erkämpfte Meinungsfreiheit nicht mehr ernst genommen wird, wenn sich Islamisten dagegenstemmen.“

German Balloonists Forced To Land In A Place Called Nebraska

October 24, 2014 By in Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

They rose to 13,000 feet as they crossed into Kansas…

Balloonists

Ah, Nebraska weather — known killer of Sunday golf rounds, lazy days at Branched Oak Lake and a German couple’s hopes of winning an international ballooning competition.

Strangely, when asked about their ordeal later, the Germans said it was “nice.”

“I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”

Hitler Coffee Creamer?

October 22, 2014 By in Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

We’ve replaced their regular coffee creamer with Hitler Creamer. Let’s see if they notice!

Hitler Coffee Creamer

Some coffee drinkers in Switzerland have been startled to find images of Hitler or Mussolini on their packages of coffee creamer. The faux pas has yielded embarrassed sputters from the vendors involved.

Well… Taste the Fascist Freshness! It’s Good to the Last Bullet!

Geschmacklose Kaffeesahne: Ein Zulieferer der Schweizer Supermarktkette Migros hat faschistische Diktatoren auf Plastikbecher gedruckt. Mittlerweile distanzierte sich Migros vom Hersteller.

I Had No Idea Germany Used To Be This Fat

October 16, 2014 By in Hard Facts, Hi-tech, High Art, Higher Education, History Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

But that’s why places like the British Museum have exhibitions like this, I guess.

Map

Germany – memories of a nation. A 600-year history in objects. You know, objects like these:

VW

Uh, why don’t they have exhibitions like this here in Berlin?

This exhibition will examine elements of German history from the past 600 years in the context of the fall of the Berlin Wall 25 years ago.

I Know What You’re Thinking

October 13, 2014 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, High Art, Home Cooking Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Did he fire 47 shots or only 46?

Tatort

Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a Heckler & Koch MP5, the baddest little German machine gun in all of Wiesbaden ITSELF and would blow your head clean off, you’ve gotta ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, Depp?

Just when you think you can’t watch another Tatort – or try to watch one – they come along with something like this. Kunst. This guy always does good stuff on this show anyway but that one he did last night really took the Kuchen. YouTube around on “Im Schmerz Geboren” if you’re interested in finding out more.

Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun!

October 9, 2014 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

On the double! And no, you’re not seeing double. Electricity prices have nearly doubled for German consumers since 2000.

Double

So I guess this famous German Energiewende (energy turnaround) is what one could call a two-edged sword. You know, something having a double meaning?

Germans are leading a double life if you ask me. If they still think that this is going to work, I mean. So stop the double-talk already, people. Get this Energiewende nonsense over with on the double before you end up doubled up with laughter – and those men in the white coats come to take you away.

Etwas läuft schief am deutschen Strommarkt: Während Stadtwerke sich seit Jahren über sinkende Strompreise freuen, hat sich der Preis für Verbraucher einer Studie zufolge seit 2000 fast verdoppelt.