German Of The Day: Ordnung Muss Sein

That means order must prevail. And prevail it does in Germany, sort of.


This stuff just keeps getting weirder. The recent deportation of Osama bin Laden’s bodyguard and suspected jihadist Sami A. to Tunesia has now been ruled illegal because a last minute fax blocking the decision to deport him was received only after the plane carrying him off to Tunesia had already taken off and this led a higher German court to now order him to be brought back to Germany where he will eventually be deported back to Tunesia again but only after this orderly German deportation process has been carried out in a thoroughly orderly German fashion. I feel like I’m in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest here sometimes, people.

A higher court in the western German state of North Rhine-Westphalia has ordered the city of Bochum to bring back Sami A., a suspected former bodyguard for Osama bin Laden, who was deported to his native Tunisia last month.

Bochum can appeal the decision in Germany’s top constitutional court in Karlsruhe. But an appeal is not likely to delay the return of the suspect.

Maybe the Tunisians might come through here, though. They are bound to be a little more advanced in matters of jurisprudence.

“The process here in Tunisia is still ongoing, so he has no ID to travel with.”

Only In Germany

I don’t make this stuff up, people.


As reported earlier, after finally deporting Osama bin Laden’s freeloading bodyguard (he and his family received welfare payments for years/decades while he worked as an Islamist hate preacher), German authorities have now realized that the other German authorities who did the deporting did not deport Sami A in the proper German legalese fashion so… Now they want him back. In order to deport him again. Only this time gründlich (thoroughly). Without any Pfusch (botching it).

It’s times like these I think there really is something to this old Oswald Spengler stuff.

Germany suspects 42-year-old Sami A. of working as a bodyguard to late al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden. A German court wants him to return from Tunisia after ruling his deportation was illegal.

Anwältin: Sami A. soll mit Visum nach Deutschland.

Germany Quick To Deport Osama Bin Laden’s Bodyguard

Relatively quick. For Germany, at least. He’s only been living in and off the country since 1997.


Sami A. was considered a security risk while living in the western city of Bochum, where he was receiving €1,168 (£1,022) a month in welfare payments. His asylum application was rejected in 2007.

“I can confirm that Sami A was sent back to Tunisia this morning and handed over to Tunisian authorities.”

German Of The Day: Sozial

That means caring. You know, like the German state? It is caring and social (“social” here, of course, just being a different word for “free of charge”).


And it turns out that one of Osama bin Laden’s bodyguards, Tunesian Salafi Sami A. (he lost the other letters of his last name in a tragic car crash or something, I guess) has been receiving over 1,100 euros a month from the social German state since 2008 to chill around the house somewhere in the Ruhr Valley and do nothing except watch his beard grow. Or maybe reminisce now and then about the good old days with the Big O. himself. And the Germans do this even though the Tunisians would like to have a word with Sami A. Germany won’t extradite him, however, being sozial and all and fearing that Tunisia might subject him to “inhuman” or “demeaning” treatment. You know, like not getting him a flat-screen TV or a sufficiently fast WiFi connection for his cell?

You laugh but just think about it. How would Germany look returning the bodyguard of a mass murderer to a country like that?

Die deutsche Justiz geht davon aus, dass A. “mit beachtlicher Wahrscheinlichkeit Folter, unmenschliche oder erniedrigende Behandlung drohen.”

Terrorists Are People, Too

And it would be wrong to hurt their feelings. So that is why German comedian Dieter Nuhr has been reported to the police for anti-Islamic agitation. In Germany. By a Muslim. This guy had the nerve to make fun of Osama bin Laden himself – and Islamic terrorists and “martyrs” in general.

It is unclear if the Muslim who reported him ever reported Osama bin Laden to the police for anti-Islamic agitation, too. But that is beside the point, many hand-wringing Gutmensch-Germans are already pointing out. Islamic terrorists commit their acts in the name of Islam. So by making fun of them you also insult their religion, or so the reasoning must be. Ever feel like you’ve woken up in Wonderland?

„Ich habe kein Verständnis dafür, dass die bei uns lange erkämpfte Meinungsfreiheit nicht mehr ernst genommen wird, wenn sich Islamisten dagegenstemmen.“

Glad Sad Mad

Or was it Sad Mad Glad? At any rate, Chancellor Merkel is now in hot water for “endorsing a crime” after she said that she was “glad” that Osama bin Laden had been killed by US forces.

A Hamburg judge has even filed a criminal complaint against her because of this “tacky and undignified” remark that only an American could love.

In typically German schizophrenic style, Schadenfreude (the enjoyment of others’ suffering) cannot be openly expressed in The Land of Schadenfreude. It simply isn’t done here (even though it’s done here privately all day long).

The Germans aren’t glad about this issue, that’s for sure. But they’re not sad about it either. Whether they’re mad or not is certainly up to debate, however.

“The Sad Mad Glad series makes the teaching of trustworthiness, responsibility, caring, respect, fairness, and citizenship an experience that parents and mentors will never forget.”

Deep Space Nein

As the hours tick on, the ever more complex German deep space nein analysis of the Osama-Obama-Drama twists further and further into a seething black hole-ish vortex of convolution, confusion and boundless bitching and moaning.

Here are a few of the latest I particularly like:

“Above all, this conflict takes place in the visual realm, it is a war of images and their reciprocal overpowering through the inspection of that which takes place on the screen.” Huh? So they killed him with a digital camera or what?

“Without photos (of bin Laden’s corpse) conspiracy theories will spread in the US and in the Islamic World.” But not in Germany though, right?

“The Americans made a grave mistake by preventing the necessary tribunal (at an international court of justice) through the liquidation of bin Laden and the overhasty disposal of his body at sea.” So you could still hold the tribunal if they give you the body or what?

“Immanual Kant had realized this well; that this ban on images (they mean bin Laden’s corpse pictures) is the magic behind religious enthusiasm and it is this abstraction of the deduced representation which opens up a greater scope for imagination and passion.” Holy Shit. Even Kant is putting in his two cents worth now.

These are too heavy for me. Let’s try a few of these instead:

“‘Justice’ has become a mere joker card concept used for politically calculated maneuvers.”

“The other side of terrorism are interest and goal pursuing policies that hold to no international law.”

“A fitting translation of ‘enemy killed in action’ could also be ‘executed’.”

Enough already. Let’s finish up with these for dessert:

“Bin Laden was unarmed as he died.”

“Justice, American style.”

“Not a real breakthrough.”

“Bin Laden’s death comes 10 years too late.”

“America’s lost decade cannot be regained.”

“Was bin Laden’s killing legal?”

Stay tuned or something.

Die Übertragung des Militäreinsatzes auf fremden Territorium via Satelliten macht noch einmal klar, dass die Weltmacht USA nicht nur global, indifferent gegenüber Souveränitätsrechten, sondern auch orbital agiert, dass der von Flugmaschinen, Raketen und Nachrichtenautomaten bevölkerte Himmel mit der terrestrischen Einflusssphäre verschmolzen ist.

German Sensitivity All Sensitive Again

And this time it has to do with the killing of a mass murderer (an interesting editorial piece, I’m paraphrasing most of this).

Damned if you do, I always say. For years Germans sardonically reproached George W. Bush for not being able to capture the mastermind behind the 9/11 attacks. Now that Osama bin Laden has been located and killed during an attempt to capture him, that was wrong too.

Here are just a few popular and very predictable politically correct party line reactions to the killing as presented by the German state media:

“Bin Laden was simply bumped off.”

“What kind of a country is this that could cheer at such an execution?”

“He was a 54-year-old father of a family.”

“German law professors go on record as saying that the US commando action violated international law.”

And of course the admonition cannot lack that “Obama only did this to get re-elected.” Other possible reasons for the killing of the man who was responsible for the most terrible attacks upon the United States since Pearl Harbor are apparently not imaginable for those in charge at German state television (WDR, Jörg Schönenborn).

More to follow here very soon I’m sure.

Und warum nur fällt es in diesem Land so schwer, eine sehr einfache Erkenntnis zu formulieren: Diese Welt ist ohne den Massenmörder aus Saudi-Arabien eine bessere. Darauf wird man sich doch wenigstens einigen können.

Egyptians, Tunisians, Libyans, Syrians…

And where’s the freakin’ revolution in Berlin? Nichts, nada, niente.

I still can’t believe what didn’t happen here yesterday during this years “Day of Rage.” Some broken glass, a handful of arrests, a little pepper spray and some guy with a pie. Pitiful.

It looks like a history of violence has now become a history of violence.

The real May Day demonstration was taking place somewhere else this year, I guess.