“Arming the World for Peace”

Only German military industrial complex peaceniks can pull this kind of stuff off without laughing out loud. Not only do they sell their expensive weapons systems for gutes Geld (serious money), they arm the world for peace in the process.

Drawing lessons from Afghanistan and Libya, German Chancellor Merkel has been making quiet changes to Berlin’s arms exports policy. Instead of intervening in conflicts, she wants to help arm certain countries to provide stability in crisis regions.

“The idea of supporting partners in turbulent regions with weapons so that they can provide for stability is not implausible.” As long as Germans are doing it, I guess.

Ich Liebe Deutsche Land

How can the German population actually be growing despite decades of negative birth rates? That’s easy. Just do it without the Germans.

It’s the immigrants, stupid.

Es sind die Einwanderer, die uns vorm Aussterben bewahren.

Biomass Movement Is Over (If You Want It)

Remember the days when crops were something people would eat?

Well the German National Academy of Sciences Leopoldina has just found out that that maybe wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

The German mania for “bioenergy” seems to have already had its day in the solar-powered sun. The academy’s report “Bioenergy – Chances and Limits” concludes that bioenergy is just a lot of bio gas (or hot bio air, if you prefer).

It plays “a minor role in the transition to renewable, sustainable energy sources in Germany at the present time and probably in the future,” requiring more surface area, creating higher greenhouse gas emissions and being more harmful to the environment than other renewable sources.

So what are we going to do with all those imported soybeans now? Eat them? Hey, the plan looked good on green paper, though.

“Die Produktion von Biokraftstoffen stellte eine extrem ineffiziente Nutzung der verfügbaren landwirtschaftlichen Fläche dar.”

This Is A German Swearing

Boy, talk about the line being busy.

Two German entrepreneurs have devised a way for passive-aggressive citizens to blow off some steam – dial a telephone number and give the person on the other end a verbal lashing.

The swearing hotline, known as “Schimpf-los” (“swear away”) in German, has operators standing by seven days a week for frustrated individuals to jeer at and taunt using the most unsavory language they can muster.

“That’s the third time I’ve heard that today – is that all you’ve got?”

Germany Confused About Japan’s “Retreat” From A Nuclear-Free Future

And here we thought that Germans were good at math.

Until Fukushima, Japan satisfied about 30 percent of its electricity demands with nuclear power, while renewable energy made up about 10 percent of the power supply. If one leaves out hydroelectric power, renewables hardly make up more than 1 percent.

“Japan needs a vision.”

Your Tax Euros At Work

SPD Governor (Rhineland-Palatinate) Kurt Beck just can’t resign, Nürnburgring bankruptcy or not. This is because, well, “he’s been in office longer than any other German governor” out there. Or is that maybe part of the problem?

Nuerburgring GmbH, 90 percent owned by the state, ran into financial trouble amid a dispute with the track’s operator over leasing fees, and Rhineland-Palatinate has sought to restructure the company with the help of a bridge financing package.

„Jetzt wird es Zeit, dass MP Beck selbst politische Insolvenz anmeldet.“

We Must Save The World But It Must Be Affordable

Cheap, in other words.

Germans everywhere are slowly waking up to the fact that their revolutionary switch to renewable energy sources is going to cost way too way much more than they ever thought they would ever have to pay – and the German government has now woken up to this.

That is why they have now begun a quiet backpedaling policy designed to prepare the German population for a slow turnaround from the energy turnaround that hasn’t even begun to turn around yet.

“For me it’s a priority that electricity remains affordable,” Germany’s new Environment Minister Peter Altmaier says, for instance.

He also says he doubts that Germany will be able to reach its goal of introducing one million electric cars by 2020.

Nor does he think that Germany will be able to cut its energy consumption by 10 percent that year, a precondition for reaching the illusory goal of 35 percent renewables the government is still aiming for, sort of.

This is the German Environment Minister talking here, folks. So you get the message, don’t you? And if you don’t get it now, you’ll get it later.

Regierung fürchtet die Strompreis-Wut der Wähler

“Ward, I’m worried about the Beaver”

Like wow. Who would have thought that?

Klausi the Krokodil turned out to be just another stupid beaver. The hysteria was wonderful while it lasted, though.

Das Phantom-Krokodil «Klausi» hatte die Stadt mehr als eine Woche lang in Atem gehalten. Die beiden Zeugen hatten angegeben, ein etwa ein Meter langes Tier mit langem Schwanz und Krallen gesehen zu haben.

Bundeswehr On The Front Line Again

When it comes to fighting for German weapon system exports, I mean. Talk about your military industrial complex. The Germans sure have one – and are clearly in denial about it – which is the real news item here if you ask me. Take the latest sale of frigates to Algeria, for instance (I mean please).

These pacifistic (German made) and very expensive peaceships not only make big profits for traditional Waffenschmiede (weapons makers) like Thyssen-Krupp Marine-Systeme, they finally give Germany’s alibi army something vernünftig (reasonable) to do: Train the folks who might actually be using these weapons one day – and in a thoroughly German thorough way, too, I am sure.

Who says the Bundeswehr isn’t an effective force? No, not a fighting one, as a sales force.

“Die Ausbildung wird in Deutschland und auf Hoher See stattfinden.”

Circumcision Decision Revision

Not that there was ever much doubt about it. That it would come to a big backpedaling Aktion, I mean.

The German government says Jewish and Muslim communities should be able to continue the practice of circumcision, after a regional court ruled it amounted to bodily harm.

That’s what can happen when you have that pressing need to fix things that aren’t broken.

“Circumcision carried out in a responsible manner must be possible without punishment.”