Three Moroccans, an Egyptian and a Syrian go to a German Christmas market…

Not. Not this time, at least.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas (in Germany), again.

Five arrested over plot to attack German Christmas market – Five men have been arrested in Germany suspected of being involved in a plot to drive a vehicle into people at a Christmas market.

Three Moroccans, an Egyptian and a Syrian were detained on Friday over the plan to target a market in the southern Bavarian state. Authorities said they suspected an “Islamist motive”.

Prosecutors said the Egyptian – a 56-year-old – was alleged to have “called for a vehicle attack… with the aim of killing or injuring as many people as possible”. The Moroccans allegedly agreed to carry out the attack.

But they can’t figure out how borders work

Or that CO2 is plant food.

German adults outperform international peers in complex problem-solving tasks, study finds – Adults in Germany are better than the international average at coping with problems in new and complex situations. However, this adaptive problem-solving skill depends more heavily on sociodemographic characteristics than in other countries. This is shown by a new evaluation of the latest PIAAC study, in which adults in around 30 countries were tested.

We can destabalize ourselves, thank you!

Germans tell Russia.

We don’t need your help.

Germany summons Russian ambassador over campaign to destabilise country, foreign ministry says – Germany’s foreign ministry spokesperson has warned that the authorities are “observing a significant increase in Russian hybrid activities,” claiming that a Russian campaign “seeks to destabilise Germany.”

Step 1, Page 1: Have an army.

Step 2, Page 2: No. A real army.

Germany Has Drawn Up a 1,200-page War Plan for a Russian Attack – Germany has quietly produced a 1,200-page Operational Plan for Germany that assumes a large-scale war with Russia and treats time as the key variable.

Drawn up at Julius Leber Barracks, the plan details how up to 800,000 German, U.S. and other NATO troops would flow east via ports, rivers, rail and roads—and how they’d be supplied and protected en route.

Rather than just counting tanks and troops, Berlin is betting on logistics and an “all-of-society” approach, from infrastructure to cyber. With Russian sabotage and probing already mounting, officials see a genuine race against time to be ready.

Germany to finally bow to the United States’ wishes

And become less dependent on the United States.

Germany’s Merz: Europe must become less dependent on United States – German Chancellor Friedrich Merz on Tuesday rejected a blistering attack on European democracies by the Trump administration, which issued a strategy paper last week declaring that the continent faced “civilizational erasure.”

The U.S. National Security Strategy, made public last week, caused shock across Europe, with a broadside that accused European governments of “subversion of democratic processes” and said U.S. policy should include “cultivating resistance” within the European Union.

Germans simply don’t trust American Big Tech Companies

Except when it comes to Christmas shopping.

Two-thirds of Germans shop for gifts on Amazon – Amazon is the go-to place for Germans to do their Christmas shopping. Two-thirds of gift buyers shop at the American online retail giant during this holiday season, according to a new study. And 15 percent of consumers shop on one or more platforms from China, with their potential market share being even larger.

“Learn to code?”

Forget that one, right? Get a job with a German armaments firm instead.

That’s the only industry booming over here at the moment.

German Shipbuilder TKMS Reports Rise in Sales, Earnings Fueled by Europe’s Defense Spending – Results are first since spinning off from Thyssenkrupp and its Frankfurt IPO.

“I don’t want to be part of this war machine!”

“One that actually works, maybe. But not this one.”

‘I don’t want to be part of this war machine’: Young Germans protest against military service plans – Young people have taken to the streets of Berlin to protest against the German parliament’s decision to introduce voluntary military service to boost national defences after Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine.

The change means that all 18-year-olds in Germany will be sent a questionnaire from January 2026 asking if they are interested and willing to join the armed forces.

In just 200 steps?

Wow. How efficient.

Or something. But wouldn’t one step have been enough? Just cut off the money. That would do the trick.

German leaders plan to cut red tape in just 200 steps – When it comes to tackling bureaucracy, why stop at just a measure or two? Premiers of Germany’s 16 states want to go further — so they drafted a 200-point plan to ease the country’s bureaucratic burdens.

The leaders of Germany’ 16 states on Thursday agreed on a 200-point plan to modernize government services.

The country is notorious for its bureaucracy, which limits much official communication to mail and, sometimes, fax. Chancellor Friedrich Merz has made addressing it a priority for the coalition government.

Pay close attention: NOTHING will ever change here.

German of the day: Freier Fall

That means free fall.

The Federation of German Industries (BDI) believes that Germany’s economy is in “free fall.” German industry is currently facing a dramatic low point, BDI President Peter Leibinger told the news agency dpa. “The economy is in its worst crisis since the Federal Republic was founded, but the federal government is not responding decisively enough.”

A new industry report expects industrial production to decline by two percent this year. This would be the fourth consecutive year of decline. “This is not a temporary dip, but a structural decline,” Leibinger said. German industry is continuously losing ground.