Next Brilliant Green Idea Set To Explode In Their Brilliant Green Faces

November 13, 2016 By in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Having years of experience when it comes to introducing ideas that nobody likes and losing votes and power because of it,  the German Greens now plan to introduce a “wealth tax” to ensure that they will continue to lose votes in the upcoming 2017 election, as well.

Tax

In traditional re-distributive, Robin Hoodlum manner, they announced during their party conference in Wald Nottingheim (Nottingham Forest) that it is time to ask the “super rich,” whoever they might be, for a higher contribution to wasteful state spending and through this thus ensure that countless Mittelstand (middle class) companies in Germany will be disproportionately burdened. This will of course make them more competitive internationally. Not. As in Nottingham.

If industrialized countries, such as the US following Donald Trump’s victory, opted for a national orientation of their economy, German small- and medium-sized businesses would need their reserve funds more than ever before, Kretschmann stressed. The state should not go after these savings.

German Army Now In Hot Water For Defending Itself

November 11, 2016 By in Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

After Germany’s consulate in northern Afghanistan was attacked by a suicide car bomber, killing six and injuring more than 120 others, Bundeswehr soldiers there clearly overreacted by killing two men on a motorcycle who refused to stop when ordered to do so.

Bundeswehr

Or at least that’s what we will most likely be hearing in the German Reichstag in the coming days, weeks and months to follow.

The Bundeswehr killing people? What will they be expected to do next? Go to war?

Nach dem Anschlag auf das deutsche Generalkonsulat in Masar-i-Scharif hat die Bundeswehr in der nordafghanischen Stadt zwei Motorradfahrer erschossen. Die beiden Männer sollen sich über die Aufforderung, sofort anzuhalten, hinweggesetzt haben.

Expat Democrats Utterly Speechless But Vow To Remain Smug

November 10, 2016 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , 6 Comments

Smug

The crowd of expats who packed the Democrats Abroad election night party in Berlin to watch live election coverage by American broadcaster CNN was conspicuously young and conspicuously female. There had been much talk about apathy among so-called millennials in this campaign, but you wouldn’t have known that in the German capital…

Of course that was then and this is now.

“I’m in too much of an emotional state,” said expat Democrat X, when asked what she thought about the new President-elect. “No comment. But wait. I will say that you can bet we will bounce back from this and be just as self-righteous, priggish and self-satisfied as we ever have been. Mabe even more so. But just not right now, OK?”

Germany Has Spoken

November 8, 2016 By in History Tags: , 2 Comments

Trump is the devil incarnate and will usher in the end of the world as they know if elected (most Germans don’t believe in God or the devil but are willing to make an exception this time). Clinton, on the other hand, is more up their alley because she has the more politically correct kind of sex organ and is married to a former president of the United States thus making her much more qualified (female sex organs matter). She is also a Democrat and that rhymes with Social Democrat. And just like back home, nobody over here knows who Gary Johnson is, either.

So there we have it. But let’s move on tomorrow, people. One step after the other. No matter what.

German Engineering At Its Finest

November 6, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Fortschritt durch Technik. That’s Audi’s motto and means progress through technology.

Audi

And their latest advance in defeat device technology is a great step forward in consumer deception indeed.

Audi’s defeat device, camouflaged as a warm-up function, keys in on movements of the steering wheel to detect if the car is in the lab or not. Once in normal traffic, however, this warm-up function is deactivated and the vehicle switches to a higher fuel consumption mode, thus producing more CO2. Brilliant, don’t you think?

Come on, America. Why can’t you produce technology like this? These new fangled electric cars everybody is talking about these days don’t have any of this cool stuff.

So schummelte Audi bei CO² – Mit einer Software sollen Messergebnisse manipuliert worden sein.

Kraut EU Commissioner Sorry He Called Chinese Slitty-Eyed

November 4, 2016 By in Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

He actually meant to call them Chop Sticks. Or maybe Chinks. Or at the very least Ping Pongs.

Oettnger

What a Herm. This Boxhead Hun needs to get with the times already and call up the Racial Slur Database on that Heinee Handy (smartphone) of his. He is responsible for EU digital policy, after all.

“Frei von der Leber, as we say in German.”