Let’s Do The Math

Yeah, that makes sense. When Britain does it’s Brexit thing and leaves the EU the money they’ve been pumping into it all these years will stop coming in.

Brexit

That means the remaining countries – like Germany – will have to make up for this. OK. Are you still with me here? Good. Now can you tell me why this is supposed to be a news item? You should have worried about this before you failed to compromise with them and let them get away in the first place.

Of the expected 10.2 billion euros that will be permanently missing in the EU budget after the Brexit, Germany will most likely have to come up with an additional 3.8 billion annually if the general conditions remain the same.

Von den voraussichtlich netto 10,2 Milliarden Euro, die im EU-Haushalt nach dem Brexit dauerhaft fehlen würden, müsste Deutschland bei unveränderten Rahmenbedingungen rund 3,8 Milliarden Euro übernehmen.

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How Poor Is Germany?

Why Germany is so poor it can’t even put its two cents in the conversation.

EU

Poor? Germany is so poor it scams the Nigerians.

Germany is poor. It’s so poor it drives a Poor-shh.

And to top these jokes off, Germany is so poor that German states like Brandenburg will continue to need aid from the European Union for, like, well… Forever.

Remember: “The state (or in this case the über-suprranational-EU-state) is that great fiction by which everyone tries to live at the expense of everyone else.”

Brandenburg darf aus Sicht von Finanzminister Christian Görke (Linke) bei künftigen notwendigen Haushaltseinsparungen der Europäischen Union nicht belastet werden.

Maybe London’s Just Not All That Much Into You, Frankfurt

Now that national interest rates are up, I mean.

London

A German bid to buy the London Stock Exchange has been sunk by the EU competition watchdog.

The Frankfurt-based German exchange Deutsche Boerse was bidding to buy the LSE in a deal that critics have warned would be against Britain’s national interest.

The Art of the Deal: Die Europäische Union, aber auch die britische Regierung betreten damit ein völlig unbekanntes Gebiet. Desintegration war bislang nicht vorgesehen.

German Of The Day/Year: Postfaktisch

That means post-factual – and has just been selected Germany’s word of the year 2016.

Postfaktisch

“This awkward adjective describes the development in which public debates are defined more and more by temperament and feelings than by facts. This may not be a term used in everyday speech, the experts admit, but crucial here is that it reflects central events that have taken place this year – from Brexit to Trump.”

Das sperrige Adjektiv beschreibt die Entwicklung, dass öffentliche Debatten zunehmend von Stimmungen und Gefühlen und weniger von Fakten bestimmt werden. Dies sei zwar kein Begriff aus der Alltagssprache, räumen die Experten ein. Entscheidend sei jedoch, dass er zentrale Ereignisse des Jahres widerspiegele – von Brexit bis Trump.

Fearless Leader: “Russian Cyber Attack Ain’t No Big Deal”

It was only 900,000 users, after all. For only a day or two. And is probably only just the beginning, so don’t worry. Be happy. And now sitzen machen!

Merkel

Cyber attacks from Russia are now so common that Germany must learn to cope with them as part of daily life, Chancellor Angela Merkel said Tuesday, after Europe’s top economy suffered its largest ever online assault.

She then moved on to more pressing matters. Like preparing to take a tough stand on the UK for Brexit or worrying about hate-speech on Facebook. Stuff like that.

“Such cyber attacks, or hybrid conflicts as they are known in Russian doctrine, are now part of daily life and we must learn to cope with them.”

German Of The Day: Starrsinnig

That means stubborn or obstinate.

Starrsinnig

Merkel, Juncker und Schulz – das starrsinnige Trio

When looking to find the guilty parties for Brexit, most of the British who voted to remain in the EU are quick to name the three names of Martin Schulz, Jean-Claude Juncker and, above all, Angela Merkel. These EU advocates are convinced that the vote would have turned out completely different if these three had only shown a modicum of understanding for David Cameron’s urgent wish to submit a reform treaty to the British voters that would have deserved the name. This did not happen, however. And thus the obstinate trio frivolously created the basis for Britain’s turning away from the EU. Now the parliament is in an an uproar.

Bei der Suche nach den Schuldigen für den Brexit nennen die meisten derjenigen Briten, die für den EU-Verbleib stimmten, die Namen Martin Schulz, Jean-Claude Juncker und vor allem Angela Merkel. Die EU-Befürworter sind davon überzeugt, dass das Votum gänzlich anders ausgefallen wäre, wenn diese drei nur ein Fünkchen echtes Verständnis für David Camerons dringenden Wunsch aufgebracht hätten, den britischen Wählern einen Reformvertrag vorzulegen, der diese Bezeichnung verdient. Das geschah aber nicht. So schuf das starrsinnige Trio leichtfertig die Voraussetzung für die britische Abkehr von der EU. Jetzt ist das Parlament in Aufruhr.

Good Question

Could Germans vote to exit the EU?

Dexit

In a word, no.

Germans could only vote on exiting the EU if they first change their constitution to include such “direct democracy” at the national level. Only then could the Berlin government or parliament call a referendum.

Now isn’t that convenient. You’re not asked if you want in, you’re  not asked about anything while you’re in and you couldn’t even ask to leave if you wanted to. So like why even ask?

And besides, what would you call the damned thing? A Dexet? A Gerexit? It just doesn’t have the right Klang.

Germany’s More Democracy organization has long called for making possible popular national referendums in the country. On its website, the group argues that the government merely presents “politics without any alternative” which parliament then “nods through.”

US-Amerikan Election To Be Closely Monitored

Still reeling from the shock of Great Britain’s incorrect Brexit vote, the European and international community is now extremely worried that the result of the coming American presidential election might also not turn out as desired.

Trump

That is why the so-called “Initiative HERSELF,” spearheaded and financed by Germany (representing all the worried Europeans), Russia, China, North Korea and Cuba, intends to intensify its efforts in educating the clueless American public in matters of civic responsibility and to warn them of the unspeakable dangers that must occur should they not vote for this election cycle’s fashionable, gender-free candidate, Mrs. William Jefferson Clinton (no one would ever vote for a presidential candidate based on the color of his skin or the type of sex organ she has, you know – or vice versa – or the color of the sex organ, for that matter).

The initiative also calls for increasing by five the number of OSCE election monitors observing said election over there in the freakin’ United States of America because everybody knows about this country’s widespread and systematic voting fraud issues. We’re watching you, Amerika.

Die Organisation für Sicherheit und Zusammenarbeit in Europa (OSZE) will die Zahl ihrer Wahlbeobachter bei der bevorstehenden Präsidentschaftswahl in den USA verfünffachen.

EU Threatens To Toss Great Britain Out Of The EU If It Has Not Packed Up Its Bags And Left By Tuesday

Or at the very least handed in its official resignation thingy by then, that is.

President

The unelected President of the European Parlament, Dingsda (what’s his name) is mad as hell at this Brexit Scheiß (crap) and isn’t going to take it anymore. After Great Britain’s sovereign decision to leave the EU last week he now demands that Great Britain leave the EU. If it does not do so immediately, he says, the EU will have no other choice but to toss Great Britain out of the EU. This is of course something that none of us want to do, he added, except for maybe Great Britain, that is, but believe you me we will do so anyway if we are forced to. Honest. So watch out already we mean business.

Der Präsident des Europaparlaments, Martin Schulz, sagte der “Bild am Sonntag”, der Gipfel am kommenden Dienstag sei hierfür der geeignete Zeitpunkt.

German Of The Day: Verantwortbarkeit, Verantwortlichkeit und Rechenschaft

Take your pick, all three mean accountability. Sort of.

Brexit

You know, like the kind of political accountability the British just voted to get back again? They soon won’t have to comply to the whims of unelected Eurocrats anymore.

Funny, but in German (and in other European languages, it seems) there does not seem to be a clear-cut translation for that very simple word.

Großbritannien wird aus der EU austreten und erschüttert damit den Staatenbund in seinen Grundfesten. Es ist die größte Krise der EU in ihrer bisherigen Geschichte. Jetzt greift Plan B, doch gibt es den überhaupt? Bislang scheint niemand genau zu wissen, wie es weitergeht, der Schock steht den führenden Politikern Europas ins Gesicht geschrieben.