Temporary Border Controls To Be Temporarily Extended Until Next Temporary Border Control Extension

May 2, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Finally “getting it” at long last, Germany will now ask the European Commission to allow it to extend the temporary border controls it too has imposed in the Schengen zone beyond mid-May, “provided we are able to say that the European Commission said we could do this just in case anybody asks,” an unnamed German official said on Saturday.

Migrants
Germany took in more than one million migrants last year. But the number of arrivals has slowed significantly after border clampdowns were imposed by Austria and other countries along the migrants’ main Balkans route northwards from Greece.

“Even if the refugee situation has eased at internal borders along the West Balkan route, we look with concern at the developments on the external borders of the Union.”

German Of The Day: Spießer

May 1, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, History, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 3 Comments

A Spießer is a fuddy-duddy. You know, like those fussy, old-fashioned and traditionalist folks who still insist on burning things down on May 1 in Germany?

Spießer

Incapable of learning any new tricks, and still living in a fantasy world based upon stories about some mythical, imaginary past that their Spießer grandparents and parents read to them as small children, they are no longer able to understand that nobody in today’s real world is interested in their outmoded tastes and manners anymore and, accordingly, becoming frustrated by the lack of attention they receive when resorting to violence, resort to violence.

Traditionsgemäß haben zum 1. Mai linke Gruppen in Berlin und Hamburg demonstriert.

Free Choice, More Convenience, Lower Prices?

April 29, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Not in our city, buddy. I mean Airbnb buddy. Not if we from the we’re-from-the-government-and-we’re-here-to-help faction can do anything about it.

Miet-Map

We like things regulated here in Berlin. You know, we like things managed, micro-managed, even nano-managed or nanny-managed, if you prefer. What else do we have this oppressive Bevormundungsstaat (paternalistic state) for?

Looking to rent an apartment on your next vacation to Berlin? Starting Sunday, you can basically forget about it. From May 1, Germany’s capital is banning landlords from renting out apartments to short-term visitors, with only a few exceptions permitted.

The penalty for breaking the law is a substantial €100,000 ($113,000) fine — levied on people renting their homes, never on the guests themselves. There will still be some loopholes that allow a few vacation apartments to persist, but it seems that, in Berlin at least, the astronomical rise of Airbnb and other short-stay rental sites is effectively over.

Das Wohnungsangebot in Berlin bei Airbnb ist kleiner geworden. Mehr als 4000 Objekte wurden laut einem Medienbericht gestrichen. Offizielle Begründung: Sie böten “kein authentisches Reiseerlebnis”.

German Rents Keep Rising

April 28, 2016 By in Heconomy, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

You have to shell out $85 a week at Rent-a-Huhn just for five lousy chickens, for instance.

Chickens

Bee-Rent will set you back nearly $200 a month for your bee box. And I wouldn’t even want to tell you what renting out a rabbit companion for your rabbit costs. Not even if I knew, I mean.

Farm living is the life for me (not).

“The hens are very relaxed when I pick them up again – and so are the customers, who are often sad to see their feathery friends leave.”

Germany To Receive Electroshock Therapy

April 27, 2016 By in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

In another electrifying example of tax dollar waste (or in this case tax euro waste), Angela Merkel’s government has just made a deal with automakers to spend some 1.2 billion euros on incentives to boost sluggish electric car sales in Germany.

Electroshock

“The goal is to move forward as quickly as possible on electric vehicles,” one high-ranking government official said while attaching the electrodes to the German nation’s sweaty forehead. “With this, we are giving an impetus.”

And if that first shock doesn’t work, who cares? This is renewable energy they’re using here, folks.

Just over 30,000 electric vehicles, which are more expensive than conventional models, have been sold in Germany. That’s a tiny fraction of the more than 3 million cars bought each year in a country which has historically leaned on diesel technology to reduce carbon-dioxide emissions.

Hysteria Half-Life Not Yet Reached In Germany

April 26, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, History, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Nor will it be any time soon. It must be artificially maintained in order to justify the German Energiewende, you see.

Chernobyl

Thirty years after the Chernobyl disaster, it has become clear that radioactivity might be less harmful than originally thought. Some researchers even believe it may be beneficial in small doses.

That is a surprising finding. Three decades ago, half of Western Europe was contaminated with weakly radioactive precipitation. The public at large was taught to view the ubiquitous radioactivity as particularly insidious.

But now, apparently not everything that gives off radiation is bad after all. The body seems to be able to cope with low doses of radon. “We are continuing to search for damage to the genome,” says Fournier, “but so far we aren’t seeing anything.”

Who would voluntarily breathe in radioactive gas? These days, there are people who do. They swear by the notorious noble gas radon, created by the decay of uranium: They inhale it deeply.

Bye American

April 25, 2016 By in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

And take those dopey google-goggle thingies with you when you go.

Obama

And don’t let the virtually real door hit you on your way out.

And no tongues.

Buy American, buy German – auf der Hannover Messe frotzeln Merkel und Obama miteinander. Die Regierungschefs wissen, dass sich die Unternehmen ihrer Länder einen harten Kampf um Absatzmärkte liefern.

Let The Festival Of Love Begin

April 24, 2016 By in Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

And let’s get it over with as soon as possible.

Love

Time to say goodbye already.

While his fifth and final official trip to Europe’s biggest economy is expected to cover global crises, one of the headline goals is to advance negotiations on what could become the world’s biggest free trade agreement.