Mysterious Cold White Powder Falling From The Sky

December 10, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hysteria Tags: Climate, Climate Change, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Humor, Satire, Snow, Weather, Winter 5 Comments

What is this bizarre weather phenomenon?

Concerned Germans and climate activists everywhere are puzzled by a strange form of precipitation in the form of crystalline water ice that has suddenly begun falling from the clouds all over Germany.

“Although we have only just begun our studies now,” everyone said in unison. “This is clearly another indication of the direct relationship between Global Warming and the gases (particularly CO2) we have emitted into the atmosphere. Brrr! Is this one cold puppy or what?”

60 Zentimeter Schnee auf der Zugspitze in Bayern. Bis zu einem halben Meter in den Mittelgebirgen. Selbst in Schleswig-Holstein liegen 20 Zentimeter Schnee.

Climate Activists Unable To Curtail Their Toxic Emissions After Latest Failed Climate Talks

December 9, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Climate Change, Climate Talks, Doha, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Protest, Satire, United Nations Leave a comment

Mad as hell about the latest failed United Nations climate talks held at Doha (that’s number 18 now, I believe), climate activists and environmentalists everywhere have begun emitting huge amounts of angry hot air in a desperate attempt to vent their frantic frustration at this latest “betrayal” to, uh, reality.

Cursing, wailing, spitting and hissing sounds have been registered all over our globally warmed up globe, punctuated by regular reports of urgent pouting and stomping noises.

One group of activists is open to reason, however, having pledged instead to collectively hold their breaths until turning blue in the face together.

“It has long been evident that the United Nations talks were at best a partial solution to the planetary climate change problem, and at worst an expensive sideshow.”

PS: Thanks for the way cool CO2 gas mask link, A.K.

What Do Sinking South Pacific Islands Have To Do With Germany?

June 15, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Climate Change, Environmental Terror, Fear Mongering, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Humor, Satire, The Green Shirts Leave a comment

Nothing. Other than “tectonic shifts” made me think of “Teutonic shifts” (which don’t happen nearly as regularly). And this article I’m writing about was originally in German and published on Spiegel Online. And of course that Germans are all so terribly concerned about how South Pacific islands are sinking due the disastrous effects of rising sea levels caused by climate change.

Or are they?

And I also just felt like pondering hype and hysteria again, so popular here and everywhere else around the world and how folks just want and need to be scared and alarmed and in crisis mode all the time even when (especially when?) they don’t need to be. Anyways, said article starts off like this:

Environmentalist organizations have used images from South Pacific islands to illustrate the disastrous effects of rising sea levels. But a group of French researchers has found that the problem is much more complicated: The islands are also being pulled under by shifting tectonic plates.

Things are more complicated than we think, you see. Or more simple, I mean. There, that was it. I feel better now.

“Momombo wako (the white man from the big island)!” Or “Momombo wackos (environmental terror mongers from elsewhere)!” if you prefer.

I Don’t Know Weather To Believe This Or Not

May 6, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Climate Change, German, Germans, Germany, Hamburg, Humor, Rain, Satire, Science, Storms, Weather, Weather Forecasts 2 Comments

“This is how the weather will be in Germany until 2100?”

I’d be happy if they could just get the weather report for tomorrow right once in awhile.

“In the future, climate change will hold ready for Germany more sun and severe storms in the summer and intense rainfall in mild winters.”

„Ein einzelnes zu kühles Jahr sagt nichts über Trends aus.“

Lights Turned Out Last Night To Save Planet Earth Again

April 1, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Activism, Berlin, Brandenburg Gate, Climate Change, Earth Hour, Ecology, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Renewable energy, Satire, Saving Energy, The Environment, The Green Shirts Leave a comment

Damn. I always knew that I was ahead of my time when it came to saving our world as we know it, but up until last night’s “Earth Hour,” I honestly had no idea just how ahead of my time I was, I mean am.

I’ve been turning the lights out at night (when I go to bed) for as long as I can remember, and I’m as old as the hills.

So come on, people. Stop living in the dark and start turning off your lights now, too!

“Indem wir das Licht ausschalten, setzen wir ein Symbol für erneuerbare Energien weltweit.”

We’re Only Taxing You For Your Own Good

March 23, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Heconomy, Hypocrisy Tags: Airlines, Berlin, Climate Change, Climate Protection, Eco-Tax, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Taxation, Taxes 1 Comment

To protect the climate. And while we’re at it we’ll tax you Americans even more.

A “departure tax?” Then I’ll just stay here. Germany’s Air Transport Tax – somehow meant to save the climate but no one can explain to me just how this works – is penalizing American carriers by taxing them the maximum amount of 45 euros per passenger.

These carriers are now suing the country on the grounds that “Germany cannot arbitrarily close its budget gap on the backs of US airlines and their passengers, who already pay taxes at excessive rates. This is a short-sighted cash grab.”

Of course it is. But they’re going to keep on taxing us anyway. Americans don’t vote here.

Die kurzsichtige Maßnahme werde der deutschen Volkswirtschaft größeren Schaden zufügen als möglicherweise an Steuereinnahmen wieder hereinkomme.

Germany In Grave Danger Again

March 20, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Climate, Climate Change, Climate Models, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Natural Catastrophes, Rain, Satire, Weather, Weather Forecasts 2 Comments

It’s all over but the crying now. Or whining, if you prefer. German Wetter (weather) just keeps getting wetter!

A new study tells us that the number of “devastating” storms, heavy rains and other weather-related “natural catastrophes” has tripled in Germany since the 70s! Wow. Have there actually been three already?

Scarier still is that the climate model for the next thirty years (this in a country that can’t get the weather forecast for tomorrow right, mind you) calls for even more “heavy precipitation” that will most likely lead to – oh my God we’re all going to die – flooding! That’s right, the f-word. Oh the horror or something. And you thought it couldn’t happen here.

„Für die nächsten 30 Jahre rechnen Klimamodelle in Deutschland vor allem mit einer Zunahme der Sturmintensität und mit mehr Starkniederschlägen, die zu Überschwemmungen führen.“

Bad Scientists, Bad!

February 7, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hi-tech, Higher Education, Hysteria Tags: AGW, Berlin, Climate Change, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Science, The Green Shirts 4 Comments

Even German scientists can reach a saturation point when it comes to all that incredible global climate change hype still blowing in the wind out there.

Normally more than willing to dutifully follow the party line (and the Party is always right, I mean left), two German green-as-they-get researchers have taken the leap and jumped ship to defect to the West, I mean to the dark side. Basically, they think that more CO2 will have little to no effect on the overall climate. This is indefensible, inexcusable, reprehensible and unjustifiable, of course. So now they must die or something.

“One of the fathers of Germany’s modern green movement, Professor Dr. Fritz Vahrenholt, a social democrat and green activist, decided to author a climate science skeptical book together with geologist/paleontologist Dr. Sebastian Lüning. Vahrenholt’s skepticism started when he was asked to review an IPCC report on renewable energy. He found hundreds of errors. When he pointed them out, IPCC officials simply brushed them aside. Stunned, he asked himself, “Is this the way they approached the climate assessment reports?”

Vahrenholt decided to do some digging. His colleague Dr. Lüning also gave him a copy of Andrew Montford’s The Hockey Stick Illusion. He was horrified by the sloppiness and deception he found. Persuaded by Hoffmann & Campe, he and Lüning decided to write the book. Die kalte Sonne cites 800 sources and has over 80 charts and figures. It examines and summarizes the latest science.

Skeptic readers should not think that the book will fortify their existing skepticism of CO2 causing warming. The authors agree it does. but have major qualms about the assumed positive CO2-related feed-backs and believe the sun plays a far greater role in the whole scheme of things.”

Daher treibe ihn als Vorsitzender der Geschäftsführung die Sorge um, dass die Menschen zur gleichen Erkenntnis bei erneuerbaren Energien kommen, wie es jüngst bei der Atomkraft war. “Wenn die Leute merken, dass die Warnungen vor dem Klimawandel stark überzogen sind und der Treibhausgasausstoß nicht die ihm zugeschriebene überragende Rolle spielt, könnten sie sich von den erneuerbaren Energien abwenden”, führt er aus.

Bad Kanada, Bad!

December 13, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hysteria Tags: Activism, Berlin, Canada, Climate Change, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Kyoto, The Greens 5 Comments

Remember when Canada used to be one of the good countries (as seen from a German point of view)?

Well now those crazy canucks went and done it and have formally withdrawn from the Kyoto Protocol on climate change ITSELF, just like that, and just days after that cheesy last-minute el cheapo compromise on climate change in Durban that got German environmentalists over here (and everywhere else) all hot and bothered and globally warmed up and stuff. Sheesh.

And all for the love of money!? Why those no-good-dog-sledding-pill-pushing-maple-smokers. Can you imagine that? Is nothing sacred anymore? Since when has money made the world go around, people? Oh. That long, really? Damn.

So now even the Canadians are acting like, well, Americans. Talk about the wheels falling off your dog and pony show climate change bandwagen. What does this mean? Where do we not go from here? Like, other than Germany, who’s going to be next?

“Canada’s obligations under Kyoto would cost $13.6bn (10.3bn euros; £8.7bn): “That’s $1,600 from every Canadian family – that’s the Kyoto cost to Canadians, that was the legacy of an incompetent Liberal government.”

Same Procedure As Every Year

December 11, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Climate Change, CO2, Durban, Ecology, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, The Environment, The Green Shirts, The Greens Leave a comment

Why put off for tomorrow what you can put off for The Day After Tomorrow instead? Get it?

Oh boy, another climate change agreement. You know, an agreement about agreeing to agree on how governments will agree in the future on how to commit themselves to agree upon finally reaching a final agreement about… I forgot about what, but it has something to do with CO2 or something.

Have you noticed how die Luft ist raus (the air is out or the wheels are off) of the we’re-all-going-to-die-right-now climate change movement? You can only cry wolf for so long, I guess. The masses, in their inexplicable and infinite wisdom, seem to have lost all sense of urgency and are no longer cooperating – not even in Germany. And not even the do-gooders-what’s-in-charge leading them, trying so hard to get that sense of urgency back, seem to know “why Durban is different to climate change agreements of the past.” But they’re trying to understand and I wish them all the very best.

Und das ist gut so (and this is a good thing), these wheels coming off. Once everybody stops hollerin’ and things start calming down a bit maybe we can all get together and begin to approach this issue with a little bit of common sense. Opps, I mean intelligence.

Bis kurz vor Schluss sah es aus, als würde der Klimagipfel von Durban ohne Ergebnis enden. Heraus kommt ein nüchterner Zeitplan, mit dem viele Entscheidungen verschoben werden.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Climate Change