First, Split Your Vote

Then overhang it on a balance seat. That’s how Germans vote, folks. And they smirk at our electoral college? Of course we do, too when we lose. But still. No wonder they can’t vote Merkel out of office. Es ist einfach kompliziert. It’s simply complicated.

Voting

How are seats calculated in the Bundestag?

The system starts to get complicated when Germans split their votes, meaning they vote for a candidate from one party in the first vote and for a different political party in their second vote. That can throw off the balance of seats in parliament so that one party is more strongly represented than they should be based on the results of the proportionate second votes.

So Germans created “overhang” and “balance seats.” Those are extra seats in the Bundestag that ensure every candidate who was directly elected gets a seat while political parties are still proportionally represented based on the number of votes they received. A German state’s population is taken into consideration when votes are converted into seats.

After Germany’s 2013 parliamentary elections, there were 631 seats in the Bundestag, including 33 overhang and balance seats.

 

German Of The Day: Certainly Not Here

Not in this English newspaper.

Sun

It’s kind of German, I guess. But it’s certainly not very kind to the German language.

Es ist Zeit für die Erwachsenen, Angela Merkel und Emmanuel Macron, die Verhandlungsführer durch den Hals zu ergreifen und Sie zu stoppen verschwenden Zeit mit Punkt-Scoring. Das ist zu wichtig.

A pro-Brexit editorial written in German has a problem: It’s literally gibberish.

Germans Higher Than You Thought They Were

I mean Germany is. Higher.

Index

No. not that kind of high. Actually, yes. Precisely that kind of high. But Germany is also highest when it comes to something called the Quality of Nationality Index.

Consistently securing the top spot for the last six years, Germany scored 82.7% out of a possible 100% on the index – the first of its kind to objectively rank the value of every nationality of the world in terms of legal status in which to develop your talents and business. The global mean in 2016 was 39.32%, with Afghanistan sitting at the bottom of the index with a score of 14.6%…

The US, meanwhile, ranked only 29th on the QNI with a score of 68.8% — mainly due to its relatively low Settlement Freedom compared to nationalities of the EU Member States, and its weak showing on the Peace and Stability element of the index.

So, getting back to that other kind of high… Now I know why everybody wants to come here.

The Case Of The Cryptic Cross

Somebody call Sherlock Holmes. Pronto like.

Cross

Berlin police and media are clearly puzzled by this unsolvable criminal case. An Afghan wearing a Christian cross was viciously attacked by two young men at S-Bahn station Neukölln after asking him “Why did you become a Christian?”

“We just can’t figure it out,” one investigating officer said later at the scene of the crime. “Why would Germans do such a thing? Sure, Berliners aren’t exactly religious but to just attack some guy because he’s a Christian in a Christian country like this? At least nominally a Christian country, I mean? Too strange.”

“Any ideas who could have done this awful thing?” asked his Partner, Barney. “We’ve asked all the shop owners around here but no one saw a thing. I think we’ll head a few steps down the street to that radical Al-Nur Mosque over there and see if any of those folks know anything. They’re religious at least.”

Laut Experten richtet sich die Aggression von Tätern oft gegen Zuwanderer aus muslimischen Ländern, die sich für den christlichen Glauben entscheiden.

German Of The Day: PARTEI

PARTEI officially stands for “Partei für Arbeit, Rechtsstaat, Tierschutz, Elitenförderung und basisdemokratische Initiative,” or “Work, Rule of Law, Animal Protection, Elite Promotion, and grass-roots democratic Initiative.”

Partei

Finally, a political party for the rest of us. I mean, you.

“If it doesn’t matter to you who sits in the Bundestag, wouldn’t it be great to be represented by someone who could care less that he does sit there?”

What I like about a satirical party like the Party is that its meaninglessness, as compared to the meaninglessness of a number of serious political parties here, has a meaning.

As for its campaign goals, Die Partei’s election manifesto is replete with meaningless political platitudes pushed to the edge of absurdity: “Die Partei supports the implementation of all-encompassing, universal, total justice, at least twice as much justice as the SPD (Social Democratic Party). Any complaints about supposed injustices will be suppressed with the utmost force.”

„Wenn es dir egal ist, wer im Bundestag sitzt, wäre es dann nicht schön von jemandem vertreten zu werden, dem es egal ist, dass er im Bundestag sitzt?“

The Anti-War Is Over (If You Want It)

I certainly want it. Remember these guys? They travelled here in a DeLorean from the 1980s. A DeLorean station wagen or something.

War

They materialized again in front of Ramstein Air Base for an anti-war protest rally protest. US-Amerikan warmongering is warmongering again or something. I honestly had no idea. Hey, it’s election time in Germany again but I’m not sure which party is supposed to be getting the votes here. The Marxist-John-Lennonist-68-Internatinal-Front?

Zuletzt hatte die bundesweite Kampagne die Atomkrieg-Drohungen von US-Präsident Donald Trump gegen Nordkorea scharf kritisiert. Sie forderte die Bundesregierung auf, “öffentlich den USA jede Unterstützung für ihre Kriegsvorbereitung zu verweigern”.

 

German Of The Day: Angst

That means angst. And here is the latest German angst check:

Angst

Terrorism wins again. But does it really? German Angstforscher (angst scientists – how could they be anywhere else but in Germany, right?) point out that terrorism, for example, is a socially accepted angst that everybody can openly get all angst-like about, without getting any angst about getting any extra angst on top of that. The real close up and personal kinds of individual angst, however, that’s a different matter. People don’t like to talk about that kind of angst because they have too much angst to do so. I have angst, for instance, that these angst studies are creating more angst about angst than they need to. And that frightens me.

“Man weiß, dass es sich bei der Terror-Angst um eine sozial akzeptierte Angst handelt. Die Leute berichten doch nicht gerne einem Menschen in einer Telefonumfrage über ihre ganz individuellen Ängste, die sie sonst allenfalls mit den engsten Freunden und Familienangehörigen teilen.”

Must Have Been The Reds

Who threw those tomatoes at Angela Merkel, I mean.

Tomatoes

They were probably just trying to catsup in the polls.

“Well, whoever did it,” one guy said. “I love you from my head tomatoes.”

Lettuce pray that doesn’t happen again.

German police say they’re investigating who threw two tomatoes at Chancellor Angela Merkel during an election campaign event in the southwestern city of Heidelberg. Police spokesman David Faulhaber told The Associated Press on Wednesday the tomatoes came from a group of hecklers on the sidelines. Witnesses Tuesday said they had been yelling things like “hypocrite” and “traitor to the people” in apparent criticism of Merkel’s migrant policies.

PS: What’s red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Let Us All Learn Together

And hold hands together. And show solidarity for one another. You know, all that kind of wonderful gooey fooey social activist stuff that “Social” Democrats do.

School

But even though I’m a big time SPD public school education advocate and multi-cultural integration cheerleader poster girl kinda woman – and former Federal Minister for Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth and current Minister President of Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania – I still prefer to send my kid to a private school, if you don’t mind. Even if you do mind I’ll be sending my kid to a private school. There’s way less riff-raff there.

Mecklenburg-Vorpommerns Ministerpräsidentin Manuela Schwesig (SPD) steht wegen der Entscheidung, ihr älteres Kind, Sohn Julian (10), zum Schuljahresbeginn auf eine Privatschule zu schicken, in der Kritik. Nach Ansicht der Links-Opposition im Landtag offenbart der Schritt die Mängel und Lücken im staatlichen Schulsystem.