Author Archives: Hermann Observer
Your Fifteen Minutes Are Up, Martin
According to Andy Warhol, as you all know: “In the future, everyone will be a popular German chancellor candidate for 15 minutes.” So you can move on now, Martin Schulz (SPD). You’ve done your time.
In the latest poll taken by ZDF-Politbarometer, 44 percent of those asked said they would support Martin Schulz for chancellor in the coming election. The same number would also support Angela Merkel, however. Last month the numbers were 49 percent for Schulz and 38 percent for Merkel.
Im ZDF-Politbarometer sprechen sich bei der Frage, wen man nach der Bundestagswahl lieber als Kanzler oder Kanzlerin hätte, jetzt 44 Prozent für Merkel und ebenfalls 44 Prozent Schulz aus. Vergangenen Monat hatte der SPD-Mann mit 49 Prozent noch einen deutlichen Vorsprung vor der Amtsinhaberin, die nur auf 38 Prozent kam.
Berlin Doesn’t Need A New Airport After All
You know, the new one that still hasn’t opened yet and perhaps never will? No. Berlin is already number one when it comes to airports. So let’s move on already, people.
1. Berlin Schönefeld Airport (SXF) in Deutschland
2. London Luton Airport (LTN) in Großbritannien
3. New York LaGuardia Airport (LGA) in den USA
4. New York J. F. Kennedy Airport (JFK) in den USA
5. Brüssel Charleroi Airport (CRL) in Belgien
6. Lima International Airport (LIM) in Peru
7. Rom Ciampino Airport (CIA) in Italien
8. Berlin Tegel Airport (TXL) in Deutschland
9. Paris Charles De Gaulle Airport (CDG) in Frankreich
10. Paris Orly Airport (ORY) in Frankreich
Sure, this is a list of the world’s worst airports (according to a survey taken by eDreams), but still. Both of Berlin’s airports under the top ten. Nice try New York and Paris but toodaloo muddafrika…
Zwei deutsche Flughäfen unter den Top 10.
Turks Kick Off New Tourism Campaign To Lure Germans To Turkey By Calling Them Nazis
Its tourism sector taking a real battering this year for some inexplicable reason, Turkish authorities are now attempting to lure German tourists to Turkey by calling them Nazis.
“Please come visit our beautiful country, you Nazi swine,” a representative of President Recep Tayyip Erdogan said yesterday in Berlin. “You are the infidel scum of the earth worthy to be put to a horrible death by slow roasting and will enjoy to the fullest our fascinating culture, stunning beaches and helpful, friendly personnel, all at an unbeatable low price.”
At the ITB fair in Berlin, 132 Turkish companies under the auspices of the Turkish Culture and Tourism Ministry will have the chance to promote the campaign.
This Is Cruel And Unusual Punishment
If you don’t have an IN-N-OUT Burger or a Wendy’s in the area, I mean.
Police in the western German town of Bergisch Gladbach have been ordering takeaway McDonalds for inmates after a food supply contract fell through at the start of March, local media reported on Monday.
The inmates of the short term facility are given the choice of a hamburger, a cheeseburger or a veggieburger for lunch and a McToast with cheese, ham and bacon for breakfast, Cologne tabloid “Express” reported. Bigger burgers were reportedly too expensive.
Ein Polizeisprecher nennt die Regelung eine “pragmatische Lösung“. Man habe sich die Frage stellen müssen, wer in der Lage sei, “sieben Tage die Woche, morgens, mittags und abends Verpflegung zu stellen”.
Two From Togo To Go?
Two violent and drunken asylum seekers from Togo (Syrian migrants, I assume) who smashed up their asylum center because of the lousy mobile phone reception there?
To go back home to Togo, I mean? Right. Wahrscheinlich (probably).
A German police officer has been severely injured in a weekend riot by drunken refugees armed with iron bars who smashed their accommodation centre to smithereens. Two men from Togo and six from Ghana went berserk at their asylum home in Rees-Haldern, near the Dutch border a DAY after moving in because they were ‘unhappy’ with their quarters.
„Die Infrastruktur gefiel ihnen nicht und es gibt dort wohl Netzprobleme was den Handyempfang angeht.“
Can I Have My False Pleasantries Back?
German facial expression of the day: Staring.
Oddity 34. You know you are in Germany when you regularly find yourself being stared at for no clearly discernible reason. I don’t know if Germans necessarily like to stare but they sure do it a lot. A nice term a friend of mine prefers using is “unfiltered curiosity” but it’s staring all the same.
But it’s a wonderful trait: Firstly, you know the person is listening intently (they really are); secondly, since it’s very difficult to look someone in the eyes and speak coherently and come up with pleasant little white lies, the false pleasantries vanish and the conversation becomes honest and true – leading toward a final deep dive into the other’s soul.
Michelle
A German Nuclear Bomb?
I have, let me say, strong doubts here. A renewable, green energy bomb of mass destruction? OK. But a nuclear one?
Germany’s most obvious response (should US-Amerika say Auf Wiedersehen! to NATO) would be to approach France and Britain, NATO’s other two nuclear powers, for a shared deterrent. But their arsenals are small. France, moreover, has so far been unwilling to cede any sovereignty over its nuclear arms and has always been sceptical about shared deterrence. Britain, as its prime minister, Theresa May, has already hinted, might make its nuclear shield a subject of negotiation during the upcoming Brexit talks.
It’s a question of how to deter whom with what.
Abdalfatah H. A. Will Not Tell Germans What The H. A. Stands For
And with good reason. His true identity might be used against him. He is a Syrian refugee who just got arrested on suspicion of having committed war crimes.
As we all know, Germany will allow anybody from anywhere in the world to enter the country as a Syrian refugee (no passport or other identification needed) but being a war criminal who is believed to have killed 36 people might slow down his asylum seeking process considerably. And that would be inhumane.
German police are currently investigating some 30 cases linked to war crimes committed in Syria and Iraq.
Observing Hermann 