Author Archives: Hermann Observer

Asylum Seekers Go On Vacation In The Land Of Their Persecution

September 12, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

No, not in Germany. Germany is the place where they get the dough to do that.

Vacation

Then they go back to the land of their persecution to vacation. That’s why they were granted asylum here in the first place. No, not to go on vacation in the land of their persecution. To escape the land of their persecution. Is that so hard to understand? They were being persecuted, see? That’s why they came to Germany. To get the asylum. Then, after they get the dough from the Arbeitsagentur, they go back to the land of their persecution. Or some of them do. But only for a short vacation. That’s allowed or something. Or maybe it isn’t. Hard to say for sure.

Do you get it now? No.  I’m not going to repeat that again. And hell no. Of course I didn’t make any of this up. I don’t have to. Are you persecuting me or something?

Asylberechtigte kehren zu Urlaubszwecken vorübergehend in jenes Land zurück, aus dem sie offiziell geflüchtet sind. Die Bundesagentur für Arbeit bestätigte: „Es gibt solche Fälle.“ Offizielle Erhebungen lägen dazu aber nicht vor.

Tax Cuts Not Wanted?

September 11, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

In a country that registered a $250 billion surplus last year? That’s what some survey results are indicating here in Germany.

Taxes

Doesn’t make any sense, right? Well maybe it does. Germany is also a country where “about half of Germans, including students, pensioners and unemployed are living on state aid.”

Nach dem Regierungsentwurf soll der Bund trotz zusätzlicher Ausgaben zur Betreuung von Flüchtlingen und weiterer Investitionen auch in den kommenden Jahren auf neue Schulden verzichten und einen ausgeglichenen Etat mit der “Schwarzen Null” bis 2020 halten.

Just Get Me To The Day Care Center On Time

September 9, 2016 By in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Germany’s Central Register of Foreign Nationals published statistics on Friday that raised alarm bells across the country: There are 1,475 children, foreign nationals living in Germany, listed as “married” on their official paperwork. Even more troubling, said the office, was the likelihood that the actual number is much higher…

Child

The most highly represented country of origin was Syria (664). There were also many from Afghanistan (157) and Iraq (100), but also on the list were European countries like Bulgaria (65), Poland (41), Romania (33) and Greece (32).

At least 361 migrants aged under 14 are married in Germany.

Sensational Survey Shocker: Germans Pessimistic About The Future

September 8, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Holy freakin’ Scheiße. Talk about coming out of left field.

Germans

A survey by the Allensbach Opinion Research Center has just discovered that Germans living in comfortable circumstances and aged between 39 and 59 are – now get this – really pessimistic about the future.

Boy oh boy do I ever hope that they (whoever they are) paid these opinion research center people one big pile of money because you can be absolutely certain that absolutely no one over here saw that one coming.*

Schwindender Optimismus, Sorge und Ängste trotz guter persönlicher Lebenslage und wirtschaftlicher Situation? Die Mehrheit der Deutschen zwischen 30 und 59 Jahren ist laut Analyse des Meinungsforschungsinstitutes Allensbach zwar materiell zufrieden, blickt dennoch eher pessimistisch in die Zukunft.

* I would have given them that data for half of whatever it was they paid them. I’m just sayin’.

Germans Just Not Integrating As Planned

September 7, 2016 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Higher Education, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Concerned about the huge number of native Germans who are clearly not willing to adapt fast enough to the foreign culture and bizarre new alien ways that hundreds and hundreds of thousands of refugees have brought to their new country, German sociologists are now demanding the introduction of integration courses to help these difficult Germans better assimilate.

Integration

“The motto must be: integration classes for all,” said one sociologist behind this harebrained wackiness I kid you not this is for real, people, I swear. “Integration is not just some snuggle session, you know.”

Integration ist keine Kuschelveranstaltung.

Sharia Police

September 6, 2016 By in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Sounds like it would make a good cop show to me.

Sharia Police

I know. To give the German version an interesting twist they ought to name the main cop dude something bizarre like, I dunno, Sven or something.

An Islamist preacher suspected of leading self-styled “Sharia police” patrols in a German city is going on trial in Duesseldorf.

In 2014, Mr Lau is said to have led a group of men wearing high-visibility vests emblazoned with “Sharia police” on patrols in Wuppertal, western Germany in a bid to enforce their ultra-conservative interpretation of Islam.

The Migrantania Is Unsinkable

September 5, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

And maiden voyage or not, the captain has vowed to stay on course no matter what. Full speed ahead, too.

Migrantania

Hey, what’s that pointy thing sticking out of the water up there ahead of us?

A day after voters in Chancellor Angela Merkel’s political home state delivered what amounted to a strong rejection of her refugee policy, the German leader acknowledged on Monday that she was “very dissatisfied” with the result but insisted that she would stick with her chosen course.

Big Anti-AfD Mass Rally Held In Berlin

September 4, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Only without the masses. That’s strange. As we all know, or at least told time and time again, the “Alternative for Germany” AfD party is a serious threat to “all those who don’t fit into its view of the world” and must be stopped at all costs or something. So why didn’t anybody show up at the mass rally held against them yesterday in Berlin?

AfD

Maybe those telling as these things (the established parties and the established media outlets) don’t fit into the view of the German voter’s world anymore. Gee. I wonder how the regional election in Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania is going to go today?

The event, which was held in Berlin on September 3, managed to only attract 2,500 people, according to police sources. The organizers of the rally had expected around 10,000 demonstrators and said their count was 6,000 attendees.