How To Avoid Getting Scolded By A German?

That’s easy. Practice very aggressive social distancing. You know. Like, move to France?

Scold

Have you ever walked on the bicycle lane? Put a refundable bottle into a regular bin? Asked a bus driver how much the ride costs? In Germany, these beginners’ mistakes might earn you a good scold. Here’s how to avoid it…

“The point is not whether they are right or not, it’s that anyone here thinks they’re allowed to educate you.”

German Oddity 177. Germany is what you might call a correcting culture. It is not uncommon for perfect strangers to publically reprimand you here if you do not abide by what is considered the societal norm. Newcomers are usually shocked when discovering that others have no qualms about telling you that you’re doing something wrong, as if you were a small child. If they don’t tell you outright there will at least be a display of disapproving headshaking.

Will It Be A Proper Landing For Lufthansa?

Or will it be more of an arrival?

Lufthansa

Or is it time to say goodbye? I wouldn’t place any bets on this one, folks. Lufthansa got kicked out of the DAX yesterday –  while Wirecard was allowed to stay? Go figure.

Lufthansa, Berlin in eleventh hour bailout rescue attempt – The German government leapt into action Monday (22 June) to rescue a proposed €9 billion coronavirus bailout for Lufthansa that has run into resistance from a billionaire shareholder…

The clock is ticking as Lufthansa shareholders are voting Thursday (25 June) on the rescue plan, which would see Berlin take a 20% stake in the company with the option of adding 5% more in the case of a hostile takeover bid.

Weiterhin keine Einigung zu Stellenabbau bei Lufthansa.

Where On Earth Did I Put That €1.9 Billion?

I didn’t leave it in my other wallet now, did I?

Wirecard

Remember when Germany used to have that squeaky-clean image? Yeah. Me neither. Now Wirecard has stepped up to the plate.

German payments firm Wirecard says missing €1.9bn may not exist – Company thought money was in two Asian banks but search hits dead end in Philippines.

“The management board of Wirecard assesses on the basis of further examination that there is a prevailing likelihood that the bank trust account balances in the amount of €1.9bn do not exist.”

Everybody’s Doing It These Days

Another import from evil US-Amerika that one absolutely, positively has to have?

Riot

Germany: Riots and looting grip Stuttgart – The southwestern German city has seen a night of rioting and looting, with several police officers injured as hundreds of people took to the city center. “The situation is completely out of control,” the police said.

The media is still pretending not to know who is behind it although everybody in their right minds who aren’t on the left already know.

Teile der linken Szene überschreiten hier gerade Linien, was wir für Stuttgart bisher so nicht gekannt haben.”

This Is The Real Problem

Not Donald Trump withdrawing American troops.

Germany

The Germans want a free ride and they’re offended at having finally been caught.

The Sorry State of Germany’s Armed Forces – Trump’s calls to withdraw U.S. troops from the country are impulsive, but Germany isn’t blameless.

The German armed forces are in a sorry state, and that’s not because Germany, more important to NATO’s efficacy as a collective defense pact than any other European member state, lacks the means to fix this problem. It does not.

Germany’s gross domestic product, valued at $4 trillion, ranks fourth in the world and first in Europe. The country is also Europe’s technological powerhouse. Indeed, in 2018, the World Economic Forum hailed it as the world’s leader in technological innovation.

And yet the German military remains riddled with problems. A damning 2019 report (available in an English-language summary) issued by the Bundestag’s then commissioner for the armed forces, Hans-Peter Bartels, summed up the problem.

PS: Please note here that the woman who ran the Bundeswehr for years and years and proved to be unable to fix it is now the woman EU technocrats (voters weren’t asked) have chosen to fix Europe.

German Of The Day: Auftragsmord

That means a contract killing.

Auftragsmord

Germany Says Russian Officials Ordered Berlin Park Killing – Germany’s top prosecutor said Russian officials ordered the killing of a political opponent in a Berlin city park last summer, escalating tensions between the two countries.

“State entities within the central government of the Russian Federation gave the order to the accused to liquidate.”

Nobody Escapes From A German Jail

Because nobody wants to.

Jail

It’s like a nice hotel stay and they’ll kick you out long before your sentence is over anyway. We’ll be hearing from this guy soon again, I’m sure.

Medellín cartel co-founder transferred to Germany after prison sentence – Carlos Lehder Rivas ran Medellín cartel alongside Pablo Escobar that smuggled cocaine worth billions to the US in 1970s and 80s.

German Of The Day: Säumig

That means delinquent.

Trump

You know, as in Donald Trump accusing Germany of being “delinquent” in its payments to Nato, and saying he would stick with the plan unless Berlin changed its course? The truth hurts, Germany. “Why does Germany pay billions to Russia for energy and then we’re supposed to protect Germany from Russia? How is that supposed to work? It doesn’t.”

Trump confirms plan to cut troops in Germany – US President Donald Trump has confirmed plans to withdraw 9,500 American troops from bases in Germany. 

„Warum zahlt Deutschland Russland Milliarden Dollar für Energie, und dann sollen wir Deutschland vor Russland schützen? Wie soll das funktionieren? Es funktioniert nicht.“

What’s An Increase Of 42% Among Friends?

Somebody just slammed Germany in the face with a brick. I mean a Brexit.

EU

Germany to contribute 42% more to EU budget: report – The European Commission would like to see €13 billion more per year from Europe’s largest economy. EU leaders, including Angela Merkel, are meeting Friday to discuss the bloc’s future budget.

Germany currently contributes an average of €31 billion a year to the EU budget. The proposal for the new budget would raise that contribution to €44 billion — an increase of 42%.

Brand New Cutting-Edge German Anti-Racism Technology Introduced

As reported earlier, racism is suddenly and inexplicably a really, really big problem in Germany. Out of the blue like, so-to-speak. No one can figure out how this happened or why this is so but everyone is telling each other it is so so it must be so.

Unteilbar

To combat this burning German social issue, inventive German social scientists have come up with a brand new anti-racism technology they refer to as the Menschenkette. It is in essence a “human chain” that is designed, we non-social scientist types must assume, to keep racism from “spreading” any further. You know, kind of like the Corona face masks that used to keep the virus from spreading further but apparently don’t work anymore because none of the people in the Menschenkette are wearing them?

Please pass this on to my fellow citizens in US-Amerika immediately! An innovation like this might just end racism over night.

“Unteilbar”-Demonstration: Menschenkette quer durch Berlin.