Will Arnett finally explains this classic German TV show to you in a proper fashion, if you’re interested. While it’s still here, I mean. It’s finally been cancelled.
“I’m fascinated by the German mentality. Jokes don’t work at all.”
Category Archives: High Art
I’m Taking The Day Off
“Ich bin jetzt doch ein bisschen müde”, sagte Bumgarner nach der Partie. Er stand einst nicht in der Schlange, in der Emotionen verteilt wurden; wahrscheinlich war er gerade damit beschäftigt, sich eine zweite Portion jener Fähigkeit abzuholen, einen Baseball möglichst schnell und möglichst genau werfen zu können.
Bumgarner. Hmmm. That’s got French roots, doesn’t it?
Terrorists Are People, Too
And it would be wrong to hurt their feelings. So that is why German comedian Dieter Nuhr has been reported to the police for anti-Islamic agitation. In Germany. By a Muslim. This guy had the nerve to make fun of Osama bin Laden himself – and Islamic terrorists and “martyrs” in general.
It is unclear if the Muslim who reported him ever reported Osama bin Laden to the police for anti-Islamic agitation, too. But that is beside the point, many hand-wringing Gutmensch-Germans are already pointing out. Islamic terrorists commit their acts in the name of Islam. So by making fun of them you also insult their religion, or so the reasoning must be. Ever feel like you’ve woken up in Wonderland?
„Ich habe kein Verständnis dafür, dass die bei uns lange erkämpfte Meinungsfreiheit nicht mehr ernst genommen wird, wenn sich Islamisten dagegenstemmen.“
German Balloonists Forced To Land In A Place Called Nebraska
They rose to 13,000 feet as they crossed into Kansas…
Ah, Nebraska weather — known killer of Sunday golf rounds, lazy days at Branched Oak Lake and a German couple’s hopes of winning an international ballooning competition.
Strangely, when asked about their ordeal later, the Germans said it was “nice.”
“I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”
Hitler Coffee Creamer?
We’ve replaced their regular coffee creamer with Hitler Creamer. Let’s see if they notice!
Some coffee drinkers in Switzerland have been startled to find images of Hitler or Mussolini on their packages of coffee creamer. The faux pas has yielded embarrassed sputters from the vendors involved.
Well… Taste the Fascist Freshness! It’s Good to the Last Bullet!
Geschmacklose Kaffeesahne: Ein Zulieferer der Schweizer Supermarktkette Migros hat faschistische Diktatoren auf Plastikbecher gedruckt. Mittlerweile distanzierte sich Migros vom Hersteller.
I Had No Idea Germany Used To Be This Fat
But that’s why places like the British Museum have exhibitions like this, I guess.
Germany – memories of a nation. A 600-year history in objects. You know, objects like these:
Uh, why don’t they have exhibitions like this here in Berlin?
This exhibition will examine elements of German history from the past 600 years in the context of the fall of the Berlin Wall 25 years ago.
501 German Oddities For Only 99 Cents?
Why that’s, uh, like more than one oddity per cent!
Sale ends Monday.
And you don’t have to use these new-fangled eReader thingies all the time if you don’t want to, you know. Or maybe you do. Smashwords, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Scribd, etc.
I Know What You’re Thinking
Did he fire 47 shots or only 46?
Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a Heckler & Koch MP5, the baddest little German machine gun in all of Wiesbaden ITSELF and would blow your head clean off, you’ve gotta ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, Depp?
Just when you think you can’t watch another Tatort – or try to watch one – they come along with something like this. Kunst. This guy always does good stuff on this show anyway but that one he did last night really took the Kuchen. YouTube around on “Im Schmerz Geboren” if you’re interested in finding out more.
Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun!
On the double! And no, you’re not seeing double. Electricity prices have nearly doubled for German consumers since 2000.
So I guess this famous German Energiewende (energy turnaround) is what one could call a two-edged sword. You know, something having a double meaning?
Germans are leading a double life if you ask me. If they still think that this is going to work, I mean. So stop the double-talk already, people. Get this Energiewende nonsense over with on the double before you end up doubled up with laughter – and those men in the white coats come to take you away.
Etwas läuft schief am deutschen Strommarkt: Während Stadtwerke sich seit Jahren über sinkende Strompreise freuen, hat sich der Preis für Verbraucher einer Studie zufolge seit 2000 fast verdoppelt.
German Goats These Days
They’re either demolishing automobiles in a place called Wiesental…
Or playing the lead role in an opera at the Deutsche Oper Berlin. Like, a real goat. I don’t make this stuff up, people.
But I got to tell you that the really bizarre thing about this goat protagonist gig thing is that it isn’t even an original idea:
Dinorah was performed in New York (at the Academy of Music) in Italian on 24 November 1862. As a novelty, it attracted a great deal of attention and (starring the now nearly forgotten Angelina Cordier) was much “ballyooed”. One of its attractions was to be the appearance of an actual, live goat on stage, which “inspired a vast dissemination of facetious goat-lore in all the papers.”
Observing Hermann 