Mein Kampf-Karrenbauer

I mean Mein Kramp-Karrenbauer, of course. But she is a Kampf-Karrenbauer now, you know.

AKK

Or you can just call her AKK, if you prefer, although that sounds like a machine gun, too. Or just call her Mini-Merkel if you like that better (that’s her official unofficial designation). But I dunno. Mini-Merkel just doesn’t have the punch a defense minister needs to have with his name, don’t you think? Especially when it’s a she. Again. It just doesn’t exude any shock and awe. Well, shock, maybe, but nothing this government does can awe me anymore.

Merkel protege AKK given defence job seen as poisoned chalice – Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer succeeds new EU commission president Ursula von der Leyen as German defence minister.

Angela Merkel’s favoured successor as chancellor has been appointed Germany’s new defence minister in an unexpected and potentially risky move after Ursula von der Leyen’s confirmation as European commission president…

The job of defence minister is widely seen as a poisoned chalice. Germany’s armed forces, which critics maintain have long been chronically underfunded, are consistently accused of inefficiency and of having inadequate or defective equipment.

The Perfect Choice

This woman  has been in charge of the German Bundeswehr for what feels like decades and has accomplished absolutely nothing other than to stumble from one self-inflicted scandal to the other without ever having to face the consequences because, being one of Angela Merkel’s top girls (and therefore being more equal than the other girls), she is simply too good and too big to fail.

Leyen

That is why she is the ideal choice to head the European Commission. Un-freakin’-believable.

Germany’s Ursula von der Leyen nominated to lead EU Commission – EU leaders have put forward their nominations for the bloc’s top jobs, with a woman for the first time proposed as European Commission chief.

The surprise choice of German Defence Minister Ursula von der Leyen to replace Jean-Claude Juncker came after the main front-runners were rejected.

“Von der Leyen is a very good candidate and a very good choice to head the European Commission. Her capacities and competences totally qualified her.”

Two Down, One To Go

After yesterday’s tragic crash of two Eurofighters during a training mission over Northern Germany, the German Luftwaffe is down to one operational plane of that design.

Air Force

But they are really, really good planes, we are told. Again and again. Top of the line state of the art. But state of the art isn’t even good enough these days, especially when most of them don’t even fly. That’s why the Eurofighter is now to be replaced with the “Future Combat Air System.” This one won’t have to leave the ground, either, I assume, which will make things a lot easier. It will just beam to the future and do its future combat fighting there.

Nach Unglück: Hat die Luftwaffe wirklich nur noch einen einsatzfähigen „Eurofighter“?

History Really Does Repeat Itself

The German navy does this regularly, I guess. Commit suicide, I mean.

Suicide

So I suppose you could call the one going on presently a ritual suicide, albeit slower than those of the past (look what’s been going on with the Bundeswehr for the past thirty or forty years or so and you’ll get my drift).

One hundred years ago, the German High Seas Fleet committed suicide. On June 21, 1919, the crews of seventy-four German warships attempted to scuttle their vessels in order to prevent the Allies from taking them. Over the course of a few hours, fifty-two modern warships sank. In the modern history of naval combat, there has never been an event as devastating as the self-destruction of the German fleet at Scapa Flow. The scuttling immediately became legendary, closing one chapter of German naval history and opening another…

Indeed, the Germans had prepped the ships for scuttling over the previous several months, removing doors and taking other steps to reduce watertight integrity. They waited for motive and opportunity. As the Paris Peace Conference dragged on, both the French and the Italians had made claims upon the fleet. As the deadline for signing the treaty approached, both the Germans and the British made their preparations, the latter to seize the ships and the former to scuttle them.

On June 21, a comedy of errors ensued. The signing of the treaty was postponed two days, although it is unclear how aware the German sailors were made of this fact. The British commander decided that the fabulous early summer weather offered a great opportunity for practice, and the bulk of the Grand Fleet left Scapa Flow for maneuvers on the morning of June 21. Only a few patrol and utility ships remained.

Admiral Ludwig von Reuter gave the order for scuttling, and every German ship obeyed. The British didn’t notice until around noon, when the battleship Friederich der Grosse began to list noticeably. At this point, the rest of the fleet raised the Imperial German Naval ensign, which the British had officially forbidden. At that point, the scuttling became a race between the water and the Royal Navy. The Grand Fleet, notified by radio of the sinking, began to return immediately. The few Royal Navy ships in attendance picked up survivors, but were unable to save very many of the sinking ships.

Broke Weenie Bundeswehr Planes Now Endangering Commercial Traffic

When not failing to get the Chancellor lady to important international meetings on time or leaving the Federal President stranded in Somalia, German government planes also like to bring commercial air traffic to a standstill.

Plane

A rough landing by a German government plane at one of Berlin’s airports brought flights to a standstill for more than two hours on Tuesday, adding to a long list of embarrassing mishaps for the military-operated fleet.

The German air force, which operates the aircraft, said both wings of the Bombardier Global 5000 jet touched the ground as it landed at Schoenefeld airport after turning back because of a malfunction. It said the crew was undergoing medical checks and the cause of the incident was being examined…

The city’s airport operator tweeted after the incident Tuesday morning that flights headed for Schoenefeld were being diverted because of an “inoperative aircraft on the runway” and check-in was suspended. Flight operations resumed around noon, though the airport warned that there could still be delays.

Piloten der Flugbereitschaft verhinderten wohl Schlimmeres.

Bundeswehr Update: This One Doesn’t Fly, Either

The Bundeswehr doesn’t have any money, remember?

But the little it has it burns as fast as it can. Among numerous other spending scandals, this one went originally like: The German navy will continue operations with its Lockheed Martin P-3C Orion maritime patrol aircraft until 2035, with Berlin having signed a $158 million contract for modernisation work to be performed over the next five years.

Now the word is that the costs have run out of control. What would the Bundeswehr do without Miss Management herself (Defense Minister Ursula von der Leyen)? She’s that good. Just like her buddy Angela Merkel, she’s too big to fail.

Es werde “kaum gelingen, alle Flugzeuge bis Ende 2025” flottzumachen, urteilt der Bundesrechnungshof.

On Course, Of Course

Don’t anyone ever tell you that Germans aren’t reliable.

Bundeswehr

As noted yesterday, the equipment used by the German army is still as inadequate as ever, despite repeated promises by the German defense minister to make improvements.

And now, despite claims by the German government to one day reach the official NATO target of 2 per cent GDP on defense spending it agreed to years ago, it won’t even be able to make the 1.5 percent it set for itself by 2024. This is “round,” as the Germans say. It all fits like a glove.

Germany is on course to miss its self-declared target for defence spending in a development that threatens to trigger a new row with the US and raises further questions over Berlin’s military contribution to Nato.

The government of Angela Merkel agreed last year to raise the German military budget to 1.5 per cent of gross domestic product by 2024 — a marked increase but still short of the official Nato target of 2 per cent. 

But the 1.5 per cent target is now under threat after Olaf Scholz, the Social Democrat (SPD) finance minister, rebuffed plans for an ambitious increase in military spending in the years ahead, citing a worsening economic outlook.

Secret Report Not Much Of A Secret

It was just leaked, as secret reports so often are, and now it’s come out that – get this – the Bundeswehr’s equipment is still inadequate.

Tiger

Yawn. Been there, done that. Top inadequacies this time? Of the Bundeswehr’s 53 Tiger combat helicopters only 11.6 of them are operational (they would never get me in that .6 one). With the NH90 transport helicopter it’s 17.5 from 71 and only 15.9 of the 71 CH-53 transport helicopters are ready for combat.

But not to worry (as if anybody is). German Defense Minister Ursula von der Leyen promised a “turnaround” in the Bundeswehr’s equipment department – a year or two or three ago. Other defense menisters would have been fired for this long ago, of course, but 1) she’s a girl and 2) she’s one of Angie Merkel’s bosom buddies.

Die Ausstattung der Bundeswehr ist laut einem Zeitungsbericht weiterhin mangelhaft. Das zeige der neueste, als geheim eingestufte “Bericht zur Materiallage der Hauptwaffensysteme der Bundeswehr”, schreibt die “Welt am Sonntag”.

A German Aircraft Carrier Makes Sense To Me

It’s not like the Bundeswehr‘s aircraft can fly anywhere now. This way they can at least ship them from A to B.

Flugzeugträger

German Chancellor Angela Merkel is endorsing the idea of developing a joint European aircraft carrier, as suggested by her party’s leader. Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer, who succeeded Merkel in December as leader of the Christian Democratic Union, made the proposal in a weekend response to French President Emmanuel Macron’s proposals for European Union reform. She noted that Germany and France are already working together on a future European combat aircraft.

Uhm, have they maxed out on her medication? I guess it really is time for her to leave.

Mit Merkel ist die Fantasie durchgegangen.

Number Four Has Issues

But it doesn’t really make much sense, does it?

Four

How can the world’s fourth largest exporter of arms (don’t worry, they’ll be back up at third place again in no time) have “issues with readiness of submarines, aircraft” for its own army? Year in and year out, I mean. One could almost think it’s intentional.

The readiness of Germany’s weapons systems stood at about 70 percent in 2018 overall, but its submarines, heavy-lift helicopters and Tornado fighter jets faced continued challenges, the German Defence Ministry told lawmakers on Monday.

Germany is the fourth largest arms exporter in the world, according to a report released by the Stockholm Peace Research Institute on Monday.