Tag Archives: AKK

I Can’t Stand It

December 9, 2018 By in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I know you planned it!

CDU

Conspiracy theory of the week: The CDU sabotaged Friedrich Merz’s chances for winning the election for party chairman against Mini-Merkel on Friday by turning down his microphone during his speech. I believe it. Of course, I also believe that interdimensional shapeshifting lizards are calling all the shots here on Planet Earth from a secret bunker complex somewhere under the polar ice cap, thus causing the ice there to melt. But still.

Wirre Gerüchte: Falsches Spiel mit Merz? CDU soll sein Mikro absichtlich gedimmt haben.

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A Day That Will Live In Infamy

December 7, 2018 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Meet Mini-Me. As in Mini-Merkel. Same as the old boss. Only mini-er.

AKK

That’s just what this country needs. More of the same. But if that’s what Dr. Evil wants, that’s what Dr. Evil gets. Whoopee or something.

Merkel, 64, later handed the baton to a successor at the party congress in Hamburg.

Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer, who was widely seen as the chancellor’s favorite and has been branded a “mini-Merkel” by some media outlets, was elected as her replacement on Friday.

Kramp-Karrenbauer — who often goes by her initials AKK — got about 52 percent of the vote in in a run-off with Friedrich Merz, a former lawmaker who left politics to work as a corporate lawyer.

Mini-Me? Mini-Me? For God’s sake would someone put a fricken bell on her or something.

The Wrath Of Khan

December 5, 2018 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Home Cooking, Hostility, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Only this Khan’s name is Wolfgang.

Khan

Maybe this Friedrich Merz has a chance of becoming head of the Christian Democrats (CDU) this Friday after all. Wolfgang Schäuble, the seventy-six-year-old CDU Urgestein (bedrock) who should have/would have been chancellor, is supporting Merz wholeheartedly. He is doing this out of conviction, of course, but he also has an ax to grind with Empress Merkel Herself (who wants Mini-Merkel to take over for her – and can’t stand Merz). Like Helmut Kohl before her, her rise to power came with a major political setback for Schäuble. Now it’s payback time. Better late than never.

“Of course! We are one big, happy fleet! Ah, Kirk, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold?”

Weil er Kanzler nicht werden konnte, will er jetzt, am Ende eines schier unglaublichen Berufslebens, wenigstens Kanzlermacher sein. Er nutzt, 76-jährig, seine wohl letzte Gelegenheit, auf die Geschichte der CDU und der Bundesrepublik entscheidenden Einfluss zu nehmen – und damit zugleich für die politische Zurücksetzung, die er erst von Kohl und dann von Merkel erfahren hat, Genugtuung zu finden.

I Shall Call Her… Mini-Me!

November 14, 2018 By in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

‘Mini-Merkel’ calls for Syrian migrants to be returned home as CDU leadership rivals jostle for position.

Mini-Me

Heel, Mini-Me! Heel!

Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer said asylum-seekers whose claims are rejected or who commit crimes could be returned to the war-torn country…

Ms Kramp-Karrenbauer, popularly known in Germany as “mini-Merkel”, is widely seen as Mrs Merkel’s preferred successor. But she has been at pains to distance herself from the chancellor’s controversial migrant policy in her bid for the leadership of the Christian Democrat party (CDU).

“Certain regions of Syria could be secure enough in the foreseeable future.”