Trump To Follow Germany’s Lead

After Germany introduced a ban on German vehicles in the city of Hamburg today, President Donald Trump has announced plans to do the same in US-Amerika, as well. Sort of.

Trump

A report that U.S. President Donald Trump has threatened to pursue German carmakers until there are no Mercedes-Benz rolling down New York’s Fifth Avenue dented shares in the luxury car manufacturers on Thursday.

An excerpt from German magazine Wirtschaftswoche’s article, which cited several unnamed European and U.S. diplomats but did not include any direct quotes, could not be independently verified, while a United States Embassy spokesman in Berlin referred questions to Washington.

The news and current affairs magazine said Trump had told French President Emmanuel Macron in April that he aimed to push German carmakers out of the United States altogether. Macron’s administration in Paris declined to comment on the report.

Eine harte Antwort wäre für die deutsche Wirtschaft riskant: US-Präsident Trump hat neben den Metall-Zöllen auch Zölle auf ausländische Autos ins Spiel gebracht.

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Speaking Of Corruption…

As far as I can tell, there isn’t a German automobile company that isn’t involved in emissions manipulation. Or maybe this is just another misunderstanding/accident kind of thing again.

Daimler

Remember when Germany used to have a clean image? Me, neither. It has been a while now, hasn’t it?

Daimler faces a recall order for more than 600,000 diesel-engine vehicles including C-Class and G-Class models because of suspected emissions manipulation, German magazine Der Spiegel reported on Friday.

Auch Daimler soll bei Diesel-Pkw bei den Abgaswerten getrickst haben. Das Kraftfahrt-Bundesamt könnte einen Rückruf von über einer halben Millionen Autos anordnen.

German Of The Day: Korruptionsindex

That means the Corruption Perception Index 2017 from Transparency International.

Korruption

Go Germany! The Germans have dropped a few notches. Like duh. And they don’t even factor in the German automobile industry here, people.

Laut Transparency International haben Luxemburg und Großbritannien Deutschland beim Kampf gegen Korruption überholt. Nötig sei unter anderem ein Lobbyregister.

Torpedoes Are Ready For Firing

Alarm Bells Ringing As German Court Prepares Diesel Verdict That Could Torpedo The Industry.

Daimler

This is widespread criminal activity here, people. VW may have gotten Dieselgate rolling, then Audi & Co. gets caught but now its Daimler’s turn.

Daimler AG, the automaker which produces the Mercedes-Benz line of luxury vehicles, is facing growing scrutiny after US investigators reportedly found that it installed software to cheat diesel emissions tests on cars, Bloomberg and Reuters reported.

I got three words to say here: Made in Germany. Here are three more: Betrug mit System (systematic fraud). Get this diesel Dreck (filth) out of here already.

Meanwhile… Tesla vehicles now dominates luxury segment in Europe, outselling flagship gas-powered German cars

Tesla Model S übertrumpft in Europa erstmals deutsche Premium-Konkurrenz.

German Of The Day: Gefangenenaustausch

That means a prisoner exchange.

VW

And that is what this guy, the German executive guy responsible for environmental questions in US-Amerika for VW who just got sentenced by a US court to seven years in prison and $400,000 – after “admitting to charges of conspiring to mislead U.S regulators and violate clean-air laws” – is hoping for.

Of course in this case, if nobody can find a US-Amerikan prisoner in Germany worth swapping places with, the exchange could still take place between prisons, couldn’t it? At any rate, his lawyers would like to exchange his yucky American one for one of the more humane German kind.

This is another one of those cases where worlds collide, folks. Convicted murders don’t get seven years over here in Germany. And this wanted clown goes on vacation in Florida thinking nobody will notice (that’s where they busted him)? Here’s some more German of the day: Wer nicht hören will muss fühlen. Those who refuse to follow the rules shall feel the consequences.

Sieben Jahre soll der VW-Manager Oliver Schmidt wegen des Abgasskandals in einem US-Gefängnis sitzen. Doch der Verurteilte hofft auf eine Überstellung nach Deutschland – womöglich im Austausch mit einem US-Häftling.

PS: Are you ready for your free sample of Brain Quest – A Fantastic Voyage through the Progressive Mind? Be brave.

Airbusted

Here’s the latest big corrupt German corporation (OK, European corporation) valiantly fighting coruption – within ist own corrupt corporation.

Airbus

After getting caught, of course. And here we thought they were all straight up and flew right, right? Deutsche Bank, Volkswagen, Airbus, etc.

“We are in this situation because we decided last year to disclose the issues we had ourselves uncovered to government authorities and investigation agencies,” he said, adding: “This was the right course of action.”

Airbus im Korruptionssumpf – Schwarze Kassen und dubiose Deals: In mehreren Ländern laufen Ermittlungen gegen den Airbus-Konzern. Dem Unternehmen drohen wegen diverser Altlasten aus der Vergangenheit Strafen in Milliardenhöhe. Noch ist offen, ob auch gegen Konzernchef Tom Enders ermittelt wird.

Only 41?

Germans waste 41 hours a year searching for parking.

Porsche

But then you have to add the 37 hours a year fighting with the other German over the parking space and the 23 hours a year you’ll spend trying to fit into the damned thing (parking spaces are narrow here, you see).

Frankfurt ranked as the worst city in Germany to find parking. On average, drivers in Frankfurt spend 65 hours a year searching for a space, costing them €1,410 each in wasted time, fuel and emissions and the city as a whole €702 million. Essen came second in the ranking (64 hours – €490m), followed by Berlin in third (62 hours – €1.8bn).

PS: At least owners of the Porsche Cayenne won’t be having that problem now anymore.

VW, Audi, Porsche, Daimler, BMW…

Then come the Corleones, the Camorra, the Yakuza, the Sinaloa Cartel, etc.

VW

German car makers Volkswagen (VW), Audi, Porsche, BMW and Daimler secretly worked together from the 1990s onwards on issues including polluting emissions from diesel vehicles, news magazine Der Spiegel reported on Friday.

VW, facing tens of billions of dollars in compensation and fines after admitting to cheating on diesel emissions in 2015, had reported the cartel to German competition authorities in a letter seen by the weekly, as did Mercedes-Benz maker Daimler.

“The German car industry agreed in secret working groups about technology in their vehicles, costs, suppliers, markets, strategies and even about the emissions treatment of their diesel vehicles.”

Mercedes Recalls 3,000,000 Diesel Cars For Cheat-Software Update

Citing strong dependencies between the false emission readings gathered by environmental authorities and the false emission readings measured in their own laboratories, Daimler has recalled millions of their diesel automobiles to update the illegal cheat-software used in their products and thus ensure that future false emission readings will result in the same false readings for everybody.

Mercedes

“The public debate about diesel engines is creating uncertainty – especially for our customers. We have therefore decided on additional measures to reassure drivers of diesel cars and to strengthen confidence in diesel technology.”

German Of The Day: Die Mannschaft

The advertising marriage of VW and “Die Mannschaft”, as Germans call their team, starts on January 1, 2019 and runs until July 31, 2024.

Mannschaft

No financial details were released, but German media said Wolfsburg-based VW would pay the German Football Association DFB 25 million to 30 million euros ($28-34 million) a year, far more than Daimler has paid.