Save Chico!

But always keep him fed really, really well, OK?

Chico

It’s German oddity time again. They may not care much for humans but when it comes to dogs they’re, well, nuts. More like wacko, really. Bonkers, if you get my drift. And that dogs are welcome in restaurants here is the least of it. Chico up there, for instance, gets to eat anything he wants anywhere he wants anytime he wants – his owners included.

Members of the public in Germany have launched an online petition to stop Chico the dog from being put down after he mauled his disabled owner and her son to death last week.

The owners, named by authorities as Lezime K, 52, and her son Liridon, 27, were found dead on the floor of their Hanover home after Chico attacked them last Tuesday.

But authorities have been forced to reconsider whether to put the dog down after more than 250,000 signed a petition to let him live (they think the city should have known that the dog was dangerous – your own stupid decisions are always somebody else’s fault over here).

Warum tun diese Hunde das?

German Of The Day: Bratwurst

That means bratwurst. Oh, brother. Dopey Americans eating goofy German food.

“It smells like prune juice and beer had a baby.”

Amerikaner mögen Pizza, Burger und Cola. Was passiert aber, wenn sie deutsches Essen probieren? Was halten sie von Vitamalz, Lakritze und Bratwurst? Ein Youtube-Video zeigt die Antwort.

 

Israel

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Israel

Because somebody has to admire them.

The contract will be signed in the coming weeks, German parliament member Fritz Felgentreu, responsible for defense affairs in the German Social Democratic Party, told “Globes.”

The German Ministry of Defense estimates the cost of the agreement, which includes leasing five Heron TP UAVs manufactured by IAI in cooperation with Airbus, at €1 billion over nine years.

German Of The Day: Ausbeutung

That means exploitation. You know, like the exploitation of our planet’s natural resources?

Salad

The nerve of mad German scientists these days. Growing salad in Antarctica like that. They should be ashamed. There are German Greens. Then there are German greens.

Antarctica is not the most likely place to find fresh ingredients for a salad. But German scientists have just collected — and eaten — their first batch of lettuce, cucumbers and radishes from a new greenhouse on the frozen continent.

The shipping container-size greenhouse, called EDEN ISS, was installed in February about a quarter-mile (400 meters) from the research station, which is located on the Ekström Ice Shelf. The food-growing lab is providing welcome fresh veggies for Gropp and his other isolated colleagues during long missions in Antarctica. But EDEN ISS has a loftier mission; the facility is an experiment led by the German Aerospace Center (DLR) designed to test the best methods for cultivating crops for astronauts.

German Of The Day: Wer A Sagt, Muss Auch B Sagen

“Whoever says A must also say B” means if you dish it out, you have to be able to take it.

And that’s what this pukey little twelve-year-old environmental polluter had to learn, the hard way. Kids these days. He, of all people, should know that Germans take their garbage separation very seriously. But this little punk had the audacity to toss his empty pizza carton into a public garbage can! Hello? Everybody over here knows that you are not allowed to put your own private Hausmüll (domestic refuse) into a public garbage can! Oh, you didn’t know that, either? It was news to me, too. But still.

Anyways, the nasty little delinquent got charged ten euros on the spot and had to shell it out pronto-like or else. Serves him right. I think. It has to do with zero tolerance or something.

Ein Außendienstmitarbeiter des Ordnungsamts beobachtete ihn, stellte einen Strafzettel aus und kassierte die zehn Euro Ordnungsgeld. Zusätzlich soll der Stadtwächter der Mutter gedroht haben, sie für das Parken auf der Bushaltestelle zu verwarnen, wenn die zehn Euro nicht bezahlt werden.

What, Me Worry?

About the number of Salafi/Salafist movement followers doubling in Germany in just five years?

Salafists

It’s not like they’re terrorists or anything, right? Right? I can’t hear you. But they are for the introduction of the sharia and against democracy and thus against the rule of law (our law). So what’s not to like about these guys?

And they are really snappy dressers, too, by the way. If you’re into that Middle Ages oriental flying carpet kind of thing.

The Salafi movement or Salafist movement or Salafism is an ultra-conservative reform branch or movement within Sunni Islam that developed in Arabia in the first half of the 18th century. It advocated a return to the traditions of the salaf, who are the first three generations of scholars after the Prophet Muhammad.

The Salafist doctrine is centered around the concept of looking back to a prior historical period in an effort to understand how the contemporary world should be ordered. They reject religious innovation or bid’ah, and support the implementation of sharia (Islamic law).”

Für die Scharia, gegen die Demokratie: Die deutsche Salafisten-Szene mit ihrer steinzeitlichen Auslegung des Islam wächst rasant. Doch sind alle Salafisten auch Terror-Verdächtige?

If The Deutsche Post Does It It’s Different

As usual, German Scheiße doesn’t stink.

Deutsche Post

When it comes to data mining = Cambridge Analytica = Facebook = US-Amerika, we’re talking pure evil. The Deutsche Post, on the other hand, is the Deutsche Post so it ain’t no big deal – when they do the same thing. The outrage hält sich in Grenzen (is kept within limits).

Deutsche Post sold client microtargeting data to the Christian Democrats and Free Democrats before the 2017 elections. Is this a scandal along the lines of Cambridge Analytica in the US? That depends on whom you ask.

“German ‘data-driven’ canvassing cannot be compared with the highly sophisticated US campaigns, which use reliable data, experimental findings and data modeling to identify individual voter targets.”

Turkey

Beautiful German weapon sales of the week.

Tanks

Because somebody has to admire them.

Just in time for the Easter march, too!

German Chancellor Angela Merkel said on Wednesday Turkey’s military offensive in Syria’s northern town of Afrin was unacceptable and she criticized Russia for “just watching” the continuing attacks by Syrian forces on eastern Ghouta.

Obwohl die Bundesregierung die türkische Offensive in Afrin als “inakzeptabel” bezeichnet, genehmigte sie seit deren Beginn Rüstungsexporte in Millionenhöhe an die Türkei.

Maybe The Germans Mean Business After All

When it comes to deporting asylum seekers who have been turned down here.

Afghanistan

They actually just sent a plane with rejected asylum seekers to Afghanistan, for instance. And it was full, too. Full of cops and other German authorities, I mean. Only ten (10) Afghans were actually on the plane. You have to start somewhere, I guess. At this rate the bulk of those to be deported will have left the country by the time they meet retirement age.

Ein Sprecher des Bundesinnenministeriums teilte mit, an Bord seien zehn Passagiere gewesen. Mit insgesamt elf Sammelabschiebungen seit Dezember 2016 hat Deutschland damit 198 Männer nach Afghanistan zurückbringen lassen.

 

You Must Have Your Papers

This is Germany, after all. You can’t just leave the country without the proper paperwork.

Papers

That is why there are some 65,000 asylum seekers in Germany at the moment (this number will climb, of course) who have been turned down but who are nevertheless geduldet (tolerated, permitted to stay), can’t be deported because they don’t have the passports or travel documents needed to to be sent back home again – often enough to countries that don’t even want them back. What a mess.

This is Germany, like I said. The same 65,000+ didn’t need any paperwork to enter the country but they sure the hell better have some on their way out. Otherwise they’re in big trouble. And the Germans will make them stay. If I made this stuff up no one would believe me.

Die Zahl abgelehnter Asylbewerber und Migranten ohne Aufenthaltsrecht, die wegen fehlender Papiere nicht abgeschoben werden können, ist einem Medienbericht zufolge im vergangenen Jahr deutlich gestiegen.