Russia Attacks German Space Telescope

By trying to turn it back on again.

And thus threatening to observe far-off galaxies and supermassive black holes without Germany’s expressed written permission. This clearly goes beyond the scope of the telescope’s mission. Somebody make them stop or something.

Russia Trying to Hijack German Telescope – After being banned from involvement in a cooperative X-ray telescope project with Germany in the wake of the invasion of Ukraine, Russia is now seeking to operate the telescope without Germany’s input.

“Despite Germany’s demand to shut down one of the two telescopes at Spektr-RG, Russian specialists insist on continuing its work.”

German Of The Day: Weltraumkommando

That means space command.

Germany establishes new military space command – The German military has announced the creation of a separate command dedicated to space, becoming the latest of a handful of nations prioritizing more resources and missions among the stars.

“The military is responding to the increasing significance of space for our state’s ability to function, the prosperity of our population, and the increasing dependency of the armed forces on space-supported data, SERVICES and PRODUCTS.”

PS: For some strange reason this wasn’t covered in the German news yesterday.

Germany To Monitor Space Junk

By launching more space junk.


Hopefully this rubbish isn’t a waste of time.

German military launches space junk tracking system – The German armed forces want to keep a closer eye on space in the future. A new system to track space junk orbiting Earth and send out early warnings about potential threats has begun work.

“Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?”



Germany joins space race as Munich start-up begins rocket production – Isar Aerospace bets on boom in small satellites and aims for launch by end of 2021.


Germany will join the commercial space race on Monday as production begins on what could become the first privately built rocket developed in the country to be fired into orbit…

The first German rocket to reach outer space was a version of the V2 in 1942. It crossed the Kármán Line, where space begins 100km above the earth’s surface, but did not reach orbit.


And What About The Illegal Aliens From Outer Space?

World famous for opening their borders to illegal aliens from anywhere and everywhere else in this world, German Green politicians were recently stunned to discover that their government has failed to adequately prepare for the possible arrival of illegal aliens from other worlds.


“So how do you organize a welcome party for an alien race?” asked a flustered CDU politician during intense questioning. “You planet!” the Greens shouted back.

The German government says it has made no preparations for the possibility that aliens might land in the European country.

In a response to questions from opposition Green Party lawmaker Dieter Janecek, the government said “there are no protocols or plans for a possible first contact with alien life.”

“A first contact on German territory is extremely unlikely, based on today’s scientific knowledge.”

German Of The Day: Ausbeutung

That means exploitation. You know, like the exploitation of our planet’s natural resources?


The nerve of mad German scientists these days. Growing salad in Antarctica like that. They should be ashamed. There are German Greens. Then there are German greens.

Antarctica is not the most likely place to find fresh ingredients for a salad. But German scientists have just collected — and eaten — their first batch of lettuce, cucumbers and radishes from a new greenhouse on the frozen continent.

The shipping container-size greenhouse, called EDEN ISS, was installed in February about a quarter-mile (400 meters) from the research station, which is located on the Ekström Ice Shelf. The food-growing lab is providing welcome fresh veggies for Gropp and his other isolated colleagues during long missions in Antarctica. But EDEN ISS has a loftier mission; the facility is an experiment led by the German Aerospace Center (DLR) designed to test the best methods for cultivating crops for astronauts.

Mehr Fluglärm? Nein Danke!

The next wave of vociferous protests by residents complaining about excessive aircraft noise is being preprogrammed in Germany. Even if the airport in question is in the middle of German nowhere.

California-based XCOR Aerospace is developing a suborbital aircraft called the Lynx space plane which will carry paying passengers to the stratosphere. Unfortunately for them, capable engineers that they surely are, none of these guys has ever been to Germany. Otherwise they wouldn’t have had the not-so-bright idea to try to use an airport near Cuxhaven for their so-called Sea-Airport.

Germans don’t like airport noise, you see. They don’t like technology that isn’t German, either, or any of that other futuristic Scheiß (crap). And they don’t like “neoliberal” globalisation plans for world revolution (literally, this time). And they don’t like millionaires, either. A ride aboard the Lynx will retail at around $95,000. That means it’s time to agitate again or something, before the project can even begin. Bah! Hamburg! I mean Humbug!

Das Projekt sei freilich erst “in den Anfängen einer Ideenfindung.”


The defunct and smashingly successful 2.7-ton German ROSAT satellite will finally be making its fiery, uncontrolled and less than successful re-entry into our planet’s atmosphere sometime within the next 48 hours.

Important questions to answer here are (there is actually only one): What are the odds that a piece of ROASTSAT debris will hit someone?

Unless you are a German, the likelihood of getting injured as a result of ROASTSAT’s re-entry is extremely low. The probability of a non-German speaker somewhere on Earth getting hit is about 1 in 2,000. Those odds are for any one of the nearly 7 billion people (minus 80 million Germans) on the planet.

The odds that debris will hit you in particular — or your dog, say, unless he or she is a German Shepherd — are still just one in several trillion.

Experten warnen: Teleskop-Spiegel wird zur Bombe.