Beautiful German of the week.
Because somebody has to admire them.
PS: Take advantage of the Smashwords End of Year Sale – Sale Dates: Dec. 25 – Jan. 1. Half price on your favorite ebooks!
Tag Archives: Sales
German Of The Day: Amerikanische Verhältnisse
That means American conditions. And it’s usually meant in the negative sense.
You know, like when forty people in two rival groups start a mass brawl during a Black Friday sale at a TK-Maxx in Osnabrück? That’s right. They may not celebrate Thanksgiving in Germany but they certainly know how to enjoy Black Friday festivities here now. And they seem to be really good at it, too.
The police had to come in with twenty cop cruisers and a few ambulances to haul the injured away. But the savings were tremendous!
Die Polizei rückte mit 20 Streifenwagen an und musste die Situation entschärfen. Außerdem wurden bei der Schlägerei mehrere Menschen verletzt, sodass auch mehrere Rettungswagen im Einsatz waren.
Isn’t Anyone Going To Do Anything About This?
The great German beer crisis? Demand is falling, people. And I can only drink so much on my own.
Demand is falling in a country where there are more than 6,000 different brands of beer. The theory goes that you could drink a different one each day for more than 16 years without having to taste the same one twice. In fact, today fewer Germans regularly drink beer at all. Since the early 1990s, domestic consumption has dropped by more than a quarter. Consumption per head peaked in 1976 and has been falling ever since. The result has left mass-market brewers suffering from overcapacity and fighting a long-running price war. More than two-thirds of all the beer sold in supermarkets is offered at a discount.
“How is it that one of the world’s biggest export nations, and one so obsessed with beer quality, fails to woo international drinkers?”
Germany
Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.
Because somebody has to admire them.
Only… The German navy doesn’t want this F125 super-frigate they just bought. They want their money back. Or at least have it fixed or something. She doesn’t work right. Like, not at all. Damn. This must be the same boatyard that makes Germany’s submarines.
Zu schwer und zu schief – Fregatte F125 Unsere neue Super-Fregatte – noch nicht im Dienst und schon veraltet.
PS: Order your copy of Brain Quest – A Fantastic Voyage through the Progressive Mind today! The paperback is out now. Get a free sample at Smashwords. Take only as directed.
Brain Quest: A Fantastic Voyage through the Progressive Mind
Available on December 26, 2017! Reserve your copy today for $0.99 and get a huge discount off the regular price. Pre-order now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Smashwords and other select retailers.
Mission Nemo simply must succeed. If the crew of the Super Small Miniaturized Nano-like Operations Wessel S. S. Minnow fails to destroy the inoperable anti-capitalist coagulum lodged in Maurice Moore’s progressive brain, how will General De Klein’s Federal Department of Antidotes operatives at SUCFACE Mission Control find out if Leftylometazoline (aka LeftX) really works? Would this usher in the final stage of the liberal clerisy’s clandestine collectivist conspiracy to abolish our few remaining individual freedoms forever? That would not please President Thump one microscopic little bit.
Join Major Miles Stone and his disturbingly alluring crew on their miniaturized mission through the left and lefter hemispheres of the progressive brain. Their fantastic voyage is a race against time that takes them through such redoubtable regions as the Clinton Vortex, the Che Guevara Gray Area and the Obama Trauma Center itself. Here they bravely confront such anatomical monstrosities as the fantasist frontalis, the hyperbolthalamus and the dreaded pious aspiration node. Their progressive brain journey only gets progressively worse as they are repeatedly attacked by repulsive swarms of nanny neurons, doomsday dendrons, robin hoodlums and the formidable radical egalitarian bacterium. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, and their deadly arsenal of passing phasers, millennial mindset missiles, moral busybody antibodies and Condescendium®, the Minnow would be lost. The Minnow would be lost.
The tension never stops building during this thrilling tale of adventure, danger, suspense and romance. And lust. Will Captain Hanna Grenada’s irresistible animal magnetism finally seduce the Major into experiencing something vaguely resembling basic human emotion? Can the all too communicative HAL 9999 super computer and his annoying eye drones really be trusted to operate the ship? And will the Minnow’s political corrector deflectors and smug shields hold, allowing Stone and his crew to reach their target and ignite the liberal bombast bomb in time? I could tell you but that would ruin the suspense.
Not your everyday dystopian science-fiction erotic horror political thriller, this bombastic bombshell of a book knows no shame when it comes to overwhelming you with its serious silliness, wanton wackiness and forthright, flat-out farce. Purchase it now before it is too late or something. Soon to be made into a major motion picture. Or maybe it has been already. There is also time travel involved here, after all.
This Book Put The Coffee In Coffee-Table Book
You’re going to need a whole lot of it. Coffee. Just to leaf through this thing.
Leaf, get it?
I simply must have it. And Christmas is coming up, folks. I mean, you know, if a few of you want to chip in together to get it for me or something…
In Busch’s minimalist compositions and stark, even lighting, the plants look tragic and comedic at the same time. To vivify the interior life of these peripheral office props, the Hamburg-based photographer gave each plant a name and unique personalities, and the “plant portraits” are captioned with wry observations: “Ingrid isn’t giving up” describes a droopy aloe vera on a window sill. “This is Renee, and Renee is keeping a secret,” refers to a slender indoor cactus that’s conceivably been a silent witness to top secret company meetings. And “Ute suffers from daydreaming” is the caption to a parched dragon tree appearing to ponder an escape from its banal captivity.
PS: If you’re looking for more fascinating reading material you ought to give this puppy a try.
Israel
Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.
Because somebody has to admire them.
Meanwhile… All of Germany’s six submarines are currently out of action. The country’s only operational sub had an accident off the coast of Norway on the weekend and was moved into the ThyssenKrupp Marine Systems’ shipyard in Kiel. In that incident, the U-35 had a rudder blade damaged during a diving maneuver.
No, it’s not like Germany merely has an alibi army, or in this case navy, just to justify its lucrative weapon sales. It just looks that way.
Why Do Socialist Diets Never Work?
Is That All You Could Find?
501 German oddities?
I know, I know. There are way more than that. Just consider these 501 oddities to be, you know, Oddities 101 or something.
“Hermann, thank you for your blog and books, I am hooked. I recently picked up 501 German Oddities and couldn’t stop laughing. I am German, but live in Boston with my husband, who is from the area and grew up here. We cracked up so many times and just had a blast reading your book. It was actually eye opening at times to the both of us and explained some “odd” behaviors of mine to him. Super grateful for the book and can’t wait to see more blog entries. All the best, Marina.”
Limited time ebook offer or something, folks. Also available at Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, etc.
My German Is More Dumber Than Your German Is
It’s 99 cent blowout ebook sale time again! Like how outrageous is that?
Dumb Deutsch: Absurd German Language Errors (auch für deutsche Leser geeignet)
Also available at iTunes, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, etc. For a limited time only or something.*
“Very funny book, relating dumb things people say while trying out their high school German. Laughing so hard at my normally quiet workplace I had tears in my eyes, my boss walked by and asked if I was OK. Oh yeah! She has a great sense of humor with an eye toward languages. Buy this book and laugh yourself silly!”
* I’d give this ebook away for free but then you wouldn’t read it and that would be irresponsible so I won’t.
Observing Hermann 