Good Question

June 30, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Brexit, Direct Democracy, German, Germans, Germany, Referendums, Voting 1 Comment

Could Germans vote to exit the EU?

In a word, no.

Germans could only vote on exiting the EU if they first change their constitution to include such “direct democracy” at the national level. Only then could the Berlin government or parliament call a referendum.

Now isn’t that convenient. You’re not asked if you want in, you’re not asked about anything while you’re in and you couldn’t even ask to leave if you wanted to. So like why even ask?

And besides, what would you call the damned thing? A Dexet? A Gerexit? It just doesn’t have the right Klang.

Germany’s More Democracy organization has long called for making possible popular national referendums in the country. On its website, the group argues that the government merely presents “politics without any alternative” which parliament then “nods through.”

„Sie sind ja ein richtig, äh, schmieriger Typ!“

June 27, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hurt Feelings Tags: Actors, Götz George, German, Germans, Germany, Schimanski, Schntonk, Tatort 1 Comment

R.I.P. Götz George.

George was especially popular for his role as tough working-class inspector Horst Schimanski from the country’s industrial Ruhr Valley region, which he played 48 times in a time period of 32 years.

EU Threatens To Toss Great Britain Out Of The EU If It Has Not Packed Up Its Bags And Left By Tuesday

June 26, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Brexit, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Martin Schulz, Politicians 1 Comment

Or at the very least handed in its official resignation thingy by then, that is.

The unelected President of the European Parlament, Dingsda (what’s his name) is mad as hell at this Brexit Scheiß (crap) and isn’t going to take it anymore. After Great Britain’s sovereign decision to leave the EU last week he now demands that Great Britain leave the EU. If it does not do so immediately, he says, the EU will have no other choice but to toss Great Britain out of the EU. This is of course something that none of us want to do, he added, except for maybe Great Britain, that is, but believe you me we will do so anyway if we are forced to. Honest. So watch out already we mean business.

Der Präsident des Europaparlaments, Martin Schulz, sagte der “Bild am Sonntag”, der Gipfel am kommenden Dienstag sei hierfür der geeignete Zeitpunkt.

German Of The Day: Arbeitslos

June 20, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings Tags: Euro 2016, Football, German, Germans, Germany, Koalas, Language, Oracles, Soccer, Zoos Leave a comment

That means unemployed. You know, like this loser of a European Football Championship koala oracle at the Leipzig Zoo?

„Oobi-Ooobi’s” job was to predict the outcome of the German team’s soccer matches and after two big flops in a row they fired his furry Australian ass. Dumb animal You have to perform over here in this part of the world, pal. And there is no such thing as free eucalyptus.

„Der unparteiische Australier zieht die Konsequenzen aus seinen beiden falschen Tipps. Als sportlich fairer Verlierer überlässt er das Orakeln ab sofort den Anderen.“

Remember: These Folks Don’t Represent All Muslims Living In Germany

June 17, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Islam, Law, Muslims, Radical Islam, Religion, State, Turkey, Turks Leave a comment

They only represent about HALF of all the MODERATE ones: Nearly half of Turkish immigrants in Germany put Islam above law.

That’s right. The latest Emnid poll indicates that 47 per cent of the more than three million Turkish citizens living in Germany admit following their religion was “more important” than obeying “the laws of the land in which I live”.

32 per cent said they yearn to live in a society of the times of the Prophet Mohammed.

I guess we don’t even want to know what the radical Muslims out there are thinking. Like duh. We already do.

36 Prozent der Befragten überzeugt, nur der Islam könne die Probleme der Zeit lösen. 47 Prozent halten die Gebote des Islams für wichtiger als die deutschen Gesetze.

Volkswagen To Build E-Cars

June 16, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Diesel, Dieselgate, E-cars, Electricity, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Volkswagen 2 Comments

But they haven’t figured out how to equip them with diesel emissions test cheating software yet.

The sleazy, crooked, dirtball of a company also hopes to introduce more self-driving vehicles in the near future. If those work out, self-purchasing models will be the next logical step. And after that, who knows? The Welt or something.

Volkswagen unveiled a plan for the next decade containing culture change, as it strives to compete in an industry moving towards e-cars, self-driving systems and on-demand mobility – all while it deals with Dieselgate.

Mit Elektroautos in die Zukunft!

The Spy Who Got Left Out In The Cold

June 15, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Hideology, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Edward Snowden, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, Honorary Degrees, Rostock, Spies, Whistleblowing 2 Comments

Crazy court rulings these days, I tell ya. One court here in Germany, for instance, just ruled that Edward Snowden HIMSELF cannot receive an honorary degree from the University of Rostock

This is because – now get this – providing controversial and politically charged intelligence service data does not constitute a scientific achievement.

What do ya thinka that? What a bunch of jurisprudence. Why, that’s absolutely positively, uh… Wait a minute. Sure makes sense to me, come to think of it (is that why this court decision is so outrageous?). But now let’s move on. So who the hell are these wackos from the University of Rostock?

Ist die Bereitstellung brisanter Geheimdienst-Daten eine besondere wissenschaftliche Leistung oder nicht?

Talk About Crossing A Red Line

June 14, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings Tags: Bunds, Germany, Interest, Investments, Negative Interest, Savings Leave a comment

Somebody call the President or something.

I’m gonna buy a mess of these. But like what will be my German Bund’s 10-year yield at -0.030 percent? I mean, will there still be any of my investment left?

“Nobody buys bunds at these yield levels thinking they are attractive. Demand for haven assets is being driven by fear of Brexit and growth concern. Investors are buying bunds as a hedge against uncertainty.”

More Gun Control Needed

June 13, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Gun control, Guns, Language, Weapons Leave a comment

In Germany.

The citizens of this predominantly pacifist nation still refuse to address this very grave issue (no pun intended) in any meaningful way and therefore remain the world’s third largest exporters of deadly firearms.* Again and again and again. Like, when will they ever learn?

The only nations that export more arms than the Germans are US-Amerika and Russia, much more violent and less enlightened societies that have not yet learned to make atonement for their dreadful, awful pasts like Germany has – thus making it OK for them to be the world’s third largest exporters of deadly firearms, I assume. Es ist einfach kompliziert (it’s simply complicated) over here sometimes. No, make that all the time.

Die umstrittenen Lieferungen an Saudi-Arabien haben dazu beigetragen, dass Deutschland 2015 drittgrößter Waffenexporteur war.

*And tanks. And submarines. You know. And other stuff like that?

Most Germans Don’t Want Brexit

June 10, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Brexit, Brussels, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Polls, Surveys 4 Comments

According to a recent poll, that is. 79 percent of those asked hope that the UK decides to stay in the EU.

This is interesting, I find. Because another poll indicates that the Germans are just as skeptical about the European Union as the British are.

A survey by Pew Research Center shows that while Brits may be the ones pushing to split away from the European Union, an equal proportion of Germans also feel negatively towards Brussels. The poll found that 48 percent of Germans have an unfavourable attitude towards the EU, exactly the same proportion as in the United Kingdom.

So what have we learned here? Nothing, as usual. Never trust a statistic you haven’t forged yourself.

Mit 79 Prozent wünscht eine große Mehrheit der Deutschen, dass die Briten sich gegen einen Brexit entscheiden und in der EU bleiben.

PS: Just read a funny comment in the Daily Mail concerning Wolfang Schäuble’s Brexit warning (how it would would shut the UK out of single market). “Germany is really scared stiff of Brexit as they are likely to be the only country funding all the other free loading countries if the UK leaves. He also needs reminding that the only reason the EU exists is because Germany couldn’t stop killing its neighbors.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Hard Facts