Duplicitous Doll Disses Deso Dogg (Da Dope)

February 16, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, High Art, Higher Education, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Deso Dogg, Espionage, FBI, German, Germans, Germany, Homegrown Terrorism, Honey Trap, Humor, ISIS, Kreuzberg, Mata Hari, Rappers, Sex, Spies, Syria, Terrorism Leave a comment

Talk about your sleeper cell. That smooth-ISIS-rapping womanizer Deso Dog, aka Denis Da Dogg himself, just fell for the oldest trick in the How-to-Spy-101-for-Dummies book and married an FBI operative who just slipped off to Turkey only to be turned over to those caring folks at the FBI in the US-Amerika itself.

But not before she had transmitted tons of way cool information to them about the romantic rapping sap. Like how he throws down his rhymes half-naked in front of the bathroom mirror, I suppose. And what kind of top secret plans he and his ISIS buddies have been working on these days. You know, stuff like that. Dumbass.

Der ISIS-Kämpfer (39) in Syrien war in die Liebesfalle einer Undercover-Agentin getappt. Sie sollte eine enge Beziehung zu ihm aufbauen, um auf diese Weise wichtige Informationen über die Terrortruppe abzuschöpfen.

And That Little Girl’s Not Wearing Her Head-Thingy, Either

February 15, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Art, Awards, Berlin, Berlin Film Festival#, Berlinale, Films, Free speech, Golden Bear, Humor, Iran, Islam, Movies, Mullahs, Satire, Taxi Leave a comment

Officially banned from filmmaking in Iran since 2010, Iranian director Jafar Panahi’s third film since then, Taxi, just won the Golden Bear at the 65th Berlin Film Festival.

Iranian creative folks still officially allowed to work in Iran are now petitioning their government to officially ban their work, too. Unfortunately, however, the head Islamically-correct-artistic-expression-mullah-what’s-in-charge said nichts da (nothing doing) when reached for comment, as “official bans like ours don’t just grow on trees, you know. And besides, if we officially banned everything then our official bans would not be nearly as effective as they have been up until now. And that’s official,” the official said.

“Limitations often inspire filmmakers to storytellers to make better work.”

German Of The Day: Die Befriedigung Voyeuristischer Bedürfnisse

February 13, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Hurt Feelings Tags: Big Brother, German, Germans, Germany, Heidi Klum, Language, Mars, Mars One, Reality TV, Space Travel, TV Leave a comment

That means the satisfaction of voyeuristic needs. And that is not, this guy here below repeats, NOT what his possible participation in the upcoming reality-show-media-spectacle “Mars One” on RTL is going to be about.

Well not for him, perhaps. He says he just wants to make the world a better place. On Mars (he’s young – and has an SPD party membership book). And of the 200,000 people who have applied to take part in this cosmic kamikaze picnic he has made it all the way up to the last 660 future contestants batch. You know, he’s still being casted like they do on Germany’s Next Topmodel by Heidi Klum? His mom must be really proud.

You see, the planned “Mars One” mission will need lots and lots of dough to properly sponsor, I mean send their crews to their deaths and that’s why the TV rights have already been sold to the Dutch production firm Endemol, the same folks who bring us, I mean you, shows like Big Brother. So I guess we know where this is going – other than to Mars, I mean – but it has nothing whatsoever to do with the satisfaction of voyeuristic needs, to come full circle again already. No, it clearly doesn’t. It’s just about a simple suicide mission to Mars. Nothing more, nothing less.

Hey, I’m all for the exploration of Mars. But a one-way ticket there for human beings in reality show format is, well, as one guy in the article rightly points out, “ethically questionable” to say the least.

Es geht nicht um die Befriedigung voyeuristischer Bedürfnisse.

The Connection Has Timed Out

February 12, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Bombings, Communist Propaganda, Dresden, German, Germans, Germany, Nazi Propaganda, Propaganda, WWII Leave a comment

Here’s a German article I read earlier this afternoon entitled: 70 Years after the Dresden Bombing – “The myth began while the ruins were still burning.”

Strange that it won’t open right now. Strange because, well, this German researcher who was interviewed in it says, in essence, that what most of us associate with the bombing of Dresden is actually nazi propaganda that was then also instrumentalized by the communists during the Cold War.

Yes, the killing of 25,000 people was a terrible thing. He then points out that 35,000 died in Hamburg (he forgot to mention the 40,000 in London), however. He also points out that the allied attack was an attack on a military target and not one of vengeance, as opposed to what we are all supposed to believe. The Dresden bombing is just another great myth that no one can properly approach here, in other words, nazi/communist propaganda that we are still hearing to this very day.

An interesting point of view but clearly one that some people out there don’t want us to hear, I mean read. Eerie, don’t you think? Try again later at: http://www.sueddeutsche.de/politik/jahre-bombardierung-von-dresden-der-mythos-entstand-noch-in-den-rauchenden-truemmern-1.2347466

The site could be temporarily unavailable or too busy.

Which Name’s Worse?

February 11, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Deso Dogg, Germany, Homegrown Terrorism, ISIS, Islamic Terrorists, Rappers, Syria, Terrorists 1 Comment

Denis Cusper, Deso Dogg or Abu Talha al-Alman?

Personally, I’d go with Denis Da Dogg. I mean, he is still trying to sell records, right?

The U.S. State Department has designated a German rapper an international terrorist due to his work as a “willing pitchman” for ISIS, including an appearance in a recruitment video holding a severed head, NBC News reports.

I got your Haftbefehl for you right here, pal.

Let The Campaign Begin

February 10, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax) Tags: 1936 Olympics, 2024 Olympics, Berlin, Free speech, German, Germans, Germany, Metronaut, Nazi Germany, Nazis Leave a comment

Berlin officials have reacted angrily to a series of fake, Nazi-style ads purporting to be part of the German capital’s campaign for the 2024 Olympics.

The spoof ads appeared last week on a satirical blog called Metronaut. Several of the ads were based on actual posters from the 1936 Berlin Olympics, which Adolf Hitler used to showcase Nazi Germany to the world.

City officials issued demands via lawyers on Monday to remove their logo and names from the ads.

Metronaut’s co-founder, John F. Nebel, says the ads were meant to spark a discussion about the darkest chapter in Berlin’s history.

Germany And USA Divided Over How Best Not To Do Anything In Ukraine

February 9, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, History, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Aggression, Appeasement, Berlin, Crimea, Failure, Fear, Humor, Inaction, Merkel, Obama, Putin, Russia, Satire, Ukraine, Washington 3 Comments

Although President Obama just went out of his way to stress that Russia’s aggression against Ukraine only reinforces the unity of the US and Europe to not do anything about it, Chancellor Merkel’s visit to Washington today nevertheless made clear once again just how wide their views differ when it comes down to the how-not-to-do-anything-about-it part.

Washington, on the one hand, prefers talking about maybe sending weapons someday perhaps but let’s not rush into things because these are weapons we’re talking about here after all people while Merkel, for her part, categorically rejects the idea of sending weapons that are never going to be sent anyway, preferring instead more negotiations about negotiations with whoever feels like negotiating about anything at anytime anywhere, stressing here how crucial it was “that the West stand up for Ukraine,” provided, of course, that this remain a purely figurative expression devoid of anything that could even remotely be interpreted as meaning “like actually standing up for Ukraine or anything.”

“If we give up this principle of territorial integrity of countries, then we will not be able to maintain the peaceful order of Europe.”

Germany New Measles Superpower

February 8, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy Tags: Brian Williams, Immunization, Journalism, Measles, Media, Medicine, Vaccinations 1 Comment

And here you thought US-Amerika must be a world leader when it came to irresponsible immunization rates. The United States has been shocked by a surge in measles cases with more than 100 incidents in January alone. This, however, is much less worrisome than a current outbreak in Germany. While authorities there had hoped to completely eliminate the disease this year, 254 new cases emerged in January, primarily in Berlin. If we consider that the German population is only one fourth of the United States’, the German measles surge was about 10 times worse than the one in the United States in January, relative to the total population. “The outbreak in Berlin is a sobering setback. In general, Germany’s immunization rate is too low.”

PS: Germans are also super-good at producing journalists who like to twist the facts, too. Their lies might not be quite as spectacular as other journalists‘ lies are, but still.

German Of The Day: Scherzkeks

February 6, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Airports, Berlin, Bombs, German, Germans, Germany, Guns, Humor, Language, Security, Tegel Airport Leave a comment

A “joke cookie” here is what we call a wisecracker. You know, a jokester? Take this jokester here at Tegel Airport today (this guy really kills me).

He’s getting ready to board his flight with his girlfriend for their vacation in Florida, right? So they’re having a look at his carry-on bag and he says – now get this – “There’s a bomb inside.” Funny. As. Scheiße! Don’t you think? And original, too. But the real punch line part only comes around a little later: He wasn’t allowed to take that flight, screws up his vacation, impresses his girlfriend big-time forever and then gets charged with another cool German word: Ordnungswidrigkeit (an administrative offense or infraction)! Hardy, har, har. Brilliant joke cookie stuff who needs the crackers?

Some people are just more funny than other people are, I’ve found. Evolution wants it that way or something.

Like this guy’s uncle here earlier in the week (I’m assuming of course it just has to be this guy’s uncle). He walked in through security control at Tegel with a revolver and 43 rounds of ammunition in his carry-on bag because – now get this – he didn’t know it was in there! Ha, ha. Apparently the bag had been given to him when his father died and he had never bothered to look inside before and just grabbed the thing at random when he needed a bag for his flight. Hilarious stuff.

But how on earth do they manage to think any of this up?

“Dieser sensible Sicherheitsbereich ist einfach kein Ort für schlechte Scherze.”

Muslim Preacher Dude Finally Starts Making Some Sense

February 3, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Extremism, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Islam, Marriage, Religion, Satire, Sex, Terror, Terrorists, Wives 2 Comments

Otherwise known for his extremist views, Berlin Imam Sheikh Abdel Moez al-Eila has proclaimed that a wife should be confined to her husband’s home and should never refuse him sex.

Now he didn’t explicitly say that it had to be really good sex, too but some things kind of go without saying. Now that’s what I call old-time religion.

Claiming that when he first married his wife, she was “pretty and slim” and that she “used to say nice things to him,” al-Eila bemoans that he has been left with a “fat” wife with a “gloomy face.”

If a man is tempted by another woman who “arouses” him in the street, al-Eila claims that the Prophet Muhammad had the remedy when he apparently said that the man “…should go home quickly and have sex with his wife and Allah will immediately remove the urge from his heart.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Helplessness