“Running down my leg.”
Germany stomped Portugal 4-0 on Monday, and it seems as if the whole city of Berlin was watching intently. The chart above—from the city’s public water utility—shows water usage from 6 p.m. on the day of the game to 6 a.m. In two dramatic spikes, coming at halftime and at the close of the game, water consumption nearly doubled. Lots of pee was being held.
“A model of German scheduling efficiency. Meanwhile, the Spanish just haphazardly pissed away two entire matches.”
Dresden – Metal fans must be cheering but everybody else is rubbing their eyes: Google Maps has turned the Waldschlößchenbrücke into Ozzy Osbourne Bridge!
Metal-Fans dürften jubeln, alle anderen werden sich die Augen reiben: Der Internet-Kartendienst Google Maps hat aus der Dresdner Waldschlößchenbrücke die Ozzy-Osbourne-Brücke gemacht!
Long before the official Sommerloch activities do, I mean.
You know. The Sommerloch? That time of year in Germany when the people who manufacture the news are on vacation so the skeleton crew back at the office tries to make do by cranking out monster sightings? As in, if it wasn’t for fake news we wouldn’t have no news at all?
Anyways, Lotti the Turtle Monster herself is back from last summer. Even though she was never actually sighted even then, of course. The villagers or peasants in the area – some place called Irsee (Irrsinn means insanity, by the way, no connection) – have placed a trap for her and are hoping for the best. The best media coverage they can possibly squeeze out of this puppy. I mean turtle. Like in June already.
After all, there’s not much else going on in the news these days, is there? What else are Germans going to be interested in reading about?
Lotti wurde nie gesehen. Ob sie tatsächlich existierte oder die Irseer im vergangenen Sommer einem Phantom hinterher jagten, wird wohl nie geklärt werden.
They have rolled in to occupy the city of Düsseldorf.
I mean they have rolled in to occupy themselves with Umweltschäden (ecological damage) in the city of Düsseldorf.
This damage was caused by a big honking storm that slammed Germany the other day. And this means war or something.
„Hier sieht‘s aus, wie nach dem Krieg.“
And that’s not that easy, you know. He can say “xenophobic,” too. For no particular reason at all.
Joe Biden says all kinds of stuff, all the time. He can say Obama’s healthcare enactment “is a “big f**king deal,” for instance. He can even say to a wheelchair-bound politician to “stand up for a round of applause.” The problem here, of course, is getting Joe Biden to stop staying stuff.
“Look at Germany. Look at the rest of the world. America is the only non-xenophobic nation in the world that’s a major economy.”
This isn’t a World Cup-class dive or anything, but still.
Look at the faux-panic that comes over his face as he pretends to be unable to breathe because someone made light contact with his shoulder.
The construction of the world’s largest airport began on June 7 in Istanbul with a massive groundbreaking ceremony. When fully completed in 2018, the 10 billion-euro airport will be able to carry 150 million passengers a year, making it one of the world’s busiest airports.
Meanwhile, back in Germany…
Berlin’s disastrous airport project (groundbreaking so long ago nobody can remember anymore, at one time planned to open in June 2012 Anno Domini) was hit with another scandal after its technical director was suspended pending an investigation into alleged corruption. A “leading employee” responsible for awarding contracts during the on-going construction of the hopelessly-delayed Berlin Brandenburg airport (BER), is suspected of having demanded €500,000 bribes from a prospective contractor.
Berlin’s airport is already too small.
Everybody buys Bio (organic) here. You know, like with real, non-organic money? It’s not just for the bio bourgeoisie anymore.
So don’t watch that there “Bio-Illusion” documentary on Arte if you can help it, folks. Not even if you can go back in time to yesterday to see it when it was on, I mean. Which you can’t, I bet.
Those who believe that organic farming is the work of some sinister food mafia will only be reinforced after watching the documentary “Bio-Illusion.” The others will be angry, with good reason.
Wo Bio draufsteht, muss noch längst nicht Bio drin sein.
PS: Speaking of the organic illusion, here’s another one for you here made in the US of A.
This here “Video captures terrifying moment low-flying plane misses German sunbather by just inches” video is like such a fake.
That dude can’t be a German sunbather. He’s still wearing clothes.
A German sunbather is seen just seconds before a plane nearly collided into him while attempting to land on a nearby airstrip at the island of Helgoland, in northern Germany.
But don’t tell anybody you heard it from me.
It goes like this: The BND is soon going to start monitoring users of social networks like Facebook and Twitter in something they are referring to here as “Echtzeit.” “Echtzeit” can roughly be translated as “real-time” and means that said users will be monitored – now get this – live. That’s right. Like while it’s actually happening?
Let me repeat this so you will understand the implications of what it is I’m saying here: They will actually be seeing what these people are typing while they are actually typing it. Just like you and I and everybody else on Facebook and Twitter the world over are doing already, I mean. Like how creepy is that?
Befreundete Nachrichtendienste seien methodisch viel weiter
