Our Wind Farms Would Work Just Great

It’s just that we don’t have the cables to bring the energy to shore (nor the money to lay them).

The network operator building those giant offshore wind farms planned to be a “supporting column” in Germany’s coming-one-day-but-not-in-any-way-near-there-yet energy turnaround, is no longer able to continue “work as usual.”

Like the Dutch government before them, having learned that offshore wind power is too expensive and that it cannot afford to subsidize the entire cost, the good folks at TenneT TSO GmbH are now about to throw in the towel, seemingly unable to find financing in the private sector that would allow them to continue their over cost and behind schedule project (it’s probably them damned durn banks doing this again, or that 1%).

The connection from Water World (Wind World?) back to Planet Earth has turned out to be more complicated and expensive than politically correct planners had originally thought, in other words, provided they had even thought about it at all.

But don’t worry, Green Shirt ideologues have already assured us that “If Tennent can’t swing the offshore development, somebody else can.” Money seems to be no object here, you see. When it’s not yours, I mean.

“Wenn Tennet den Offshore-Ausbau nicht schultern kann, müssen andere ran.”

Bond, Sovereign Bond

So, is it time for the sweet poison or the silver bullet? Germany (or one German) is the last man standing and it’s time to pay up or shut up.

Can Germany (and Germany’s “independent” Bundesbank President Jens Weidmann) jump over its/his shadow and allow the European Central Bank to become the lender of last resort in Europe’s never-ending efforts to prop up the euro?

Pump up the volume already. Half a dozen bailout packages and half a trillion euros later, Greece is closer to leaving the euro zone than ever before and Italy now seems bound for bankruptcy, too. Who’s next? And where’s the money? It looks like Europe’s arsenal is down to one last taboo here: Let the ECB vouch for all of the outstanding debt of the debtor nations, “permanently, to an unlimited extent and in violation of all applicable laws.” Germany, for some strange (and wonderful) reason, is still against doing this.

You know the deal, my fellow Americans. It’s the easy way out: “Print money and drown the debt crisis in a sea of liquidity.” Look what its done for us – so far.

Hey look, I don’t know much about economics (nor do at least half of the world’s economists, for that matter), but I do know that if President Barack Obama, President Nicolas Sarkozy and European Commission President José Manuel Barroso are all urging the Germans to abandon their resistance to the ECB plan, it’s probably best for the rest of us out there if this Weidmann guy sticks to his guns. I wouldn’t bet money on him doing so, though. And I certainly wouldn’t bet using the euro.

He mechanically recited the traditional mantras of the Bundesbank: “independence,” “a culture of stability” and “credibility.”

The Brown Army Faction

Get it?

It’s paranoia time. All you need are three or four slobs with weapons (supposedly so well controlled by the state), lots of truly criminal energy and a huge government network of giant law enforcement and security agencies clearly incapable of even knowing that this group exists or what it has been doing for the past 13 years (more effective government control in action) and you’ve got all that you need to turn these killings into a massive, shadowy consipiracy of neo-Nazi sympathizers active throughout said law enforcement and security agencies bent on helping this group and those like them in overthrowing civilized democratic society as we know it.

And all of this has to take place in Germany too, of course. Oh, and I forgot. You also need a big honkin’ fear industry media machine that makes money by selling pre-packaged products like this.

No, “the government” isn’t conspiring with anybody here. It’s just being inefficient, as usual. And the more the government, the more the inefficiency, as usual. So what’s the answer? Why, more government, of course.

“Ging denn bei niemandem die rote Lampe an?”

Dumbass Computer Gamers

As everybody out there knows… All this computer game nonsense (not to mention the violence) is dumbing down our kids and ravaging our European cultural identity (or at least yours).

“Scientists at the Berliner Berliner Charité medical school have made a surprising discovery: Moderate computer game players have a great deal more brain volume.”

Von wegen, Computerspiele machen dumm – Untersuchungen mit Magnetresonanztomografen ergaben, dass die Hirnstruktur von moderaten Computer-Spielern ausgeprägert ist.

What Do Bushido, Bambi And Heino Have In Common?

I’m not sure, but whatever it is has got to be bizarre.

Bambi is not Bambi here, it’s an award. Heino, however, is Heino. And so is Bushido (as in being Bushido). They are both singers, kind of. Heino is now like way totally beleidigt (offended) because Bushido got a Bambi (the award) and has now sent his (Heino’s) back in protest. Heino thinks that Bushido is not volkstümlich (folksy) enough, I think, and Heino of all people should know what volkstümlich enough is or not. Bushido, being a criminal German Hip-Hop kinda guy with the bad lyrics and all that, was born offended. So now everybody is happy, I think. Hey, this is Schau business or something.

“Ich bin zutiefst empört, dass man einem gewalttätigen Kriminellen wie Bushido den Bambi verleiht. Mit diesem Mann möchte ich nicht auf eine Stufe gestellt werden.”

Like Get Out Of My Gesicht Already

Are we having another Street View yet? German faces on Facebook? Niemals (never)!

When it comes to Facebook’s biometric facial recognition technology “Tag Suggestions”, or just about any other kind of dad-gern-new-fangled sinister and EVIL US-Amerikanische Internet technology out there for that matter, Germans verstehen kein spaß (just can’t take a joke). And when you mix up a little “out of principle” in the fixins’, this latest tasty data protection Skandal is ready-to-serve.

To opt-in or opt-out, that is the question (German paranoiacs prefer the opt-in opt) and Hamburg’s data protection commissioner is now preparing legal action against Facebook and will soon fine the company over its use of said technology because, well, he can.

“Facebook has repeatedly come under fire in Germany, where privacy is a particularly sensitive issue for historical reasons.” Historical reasons? Nonsense. This is clearly a mental health issue.

“We believe that any legal action is completely unnecessary as the tag suggest feature on Facebook is fully compliant with EU data protection laws.”

Colonization From Outer Space Denied

Although the Obama administration has taken the time and effort to officially announce that the US government currently has no credible evidence backing up the claim that aliens have secretly colonized our planet, other sources point to a secret economic colonization of Europe now taking place by Germans, like currently already, as we speak so to speak.

These sources say: What we are witnessing is the economic colonisation of Europe by stealth by the Germans.

Once, it would have taken an invading military force to topple the leadership of a European nation. Today, it can be done through sheer economic pressure: it might be that within a few days the Germans — along with their French allies — will have secured regime change in the two most tiresome countries in the eurozone (Greece and Italy).

Perhaps the Germans, as the new masters of Europe, have been lulled into a false sense of security by Ireland’s response to the savage austerity measures imposed upon it in return for its bailout.

But there’s more: “Opinion polls now indicate more than 50% of the American people believe there is an alien-like German presence secretly taking over Europe and more than 80% believe the government is not telling the truth about this phenomenon. The people have a right to know. The people can handle the truth.”

So stay tuned or something.

Die Deutsche Seele

A little German never hurt anybody. I’m too lazy to translate this, in other words (Thea Dorn’s interesting observations about “The German Soul” this week in Die Zeit):

Wir Deutschen selbst sind die einzigen, die notorisch nicht wahrhaben wollen, wie viele unserer Ängste samt der daraus resultierenden Verhaltensweisen von einer typisch deutschen Mentalität zeugen: Jedem Briten ist klar, dass es sich beim “Waldsterben”,  das die Gemüter in den achziger Jahren erschütterte, um einen urdeutschen Spleen gehandelt hat. Kein Franzose versteht, mit welch plötzlicher Radikalität unser Land den Ausstieg aus der Atomkraft vollziehen will. Die Amerikaner waren perplex, als Deutschland unlängst sein Ja zum militärischen Libyen-Einsatz verweigerte. Wir selbst und die Welt würden uns besser verstehen, wüssten wir noch, dass ein deutsches Universal-Lexikon bereits im Jahre 1747 wortreich den “jetzigen Verfall der Wälder in Deutschland” beklagte und Martin Luther mit dessen noch älterer Befürchtung zitierte, dass es Deutschland “vor dem jüngsten Tage” an “wildem Holze” mangeln werde. Dass die im Vergleich zu anderen Völkern überstark empfundene Angst vor einer atomaren Verseuchung aufs Engste mit der deutschen Reinheitssehnsucht zusammenhängt, der schon immer jede Verunreinigung, die sich nicht mit Schrubber und Seife bekämpfen lässt, ein Albtraum war. Dass der vermeintlich neue deutsche Pazifismus seinen größten lyrischen Ausdruck bereits 1779 fand, als Matthias Claudius dichtete: “‘s ist Krieg! ‘s ist Krieg! O Gottes Engel wehre, / Und rede Du darein! / ‘s ist leider Krieg! – und ich begehre / Nicht schuld daran zu sein!” Nur weil wir all dies vergessen haben, können wir heute unsere uralten Ängste als Fortschrittssignale ausgeben.

Germany Will Lead!

But only from behind. It’s another one of those German schizoid personality disorder things.

When history dictates humility, and modesty proves so profitable, reticence endures.

Germans tell the pollsters they fear for their money—and then add that they like both Europe and the euro. They sense that it is cheaper to throw up firewalls than to pay for the devastation of the blaze. They bridle at rewarding the vices of the “Club Med” countries. But their real horror is to be left alone in Europe once more.

Referendum For Referendum On Referendum Called

It’s getting ugly here, folks. Ugly and angry (and that makes everybody happy here).

“We’ve had enough!” Germany’s Bildzeitung readers read. “We’re spending hundreds of billions of euros to save the Greeks and now a referendum there should make clear whether they want to be saved at all. Now we want our own referendum: no more billions for the Greeks, Greece out of the euro!”

Place your vote here: “Yes, keep throwing money at them!” or “No, not another cent for bankrupt Greece, take the euro away!”

Die renommierte FAZ fragte gestern, „warum eigentlich die Griechen darüber abstimmen dürfen, ob sie gerettet werden wollen, nicht aber die Deutschen, ob sie und ihre Kinder für solche Zwecke Bürgschaften in Milliardenhöhe schultern möchten“.