Are We Having An Ugly American Border Wall Yet?

September 14, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Borders, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Migrants, Refugees, The Schengen Zone 4 Comments

Sooner or later reality gets up in your face.

Germany has introduced temporary controls on its border with Austria to cope with the influx of migrants, the interior minister has said.

Politically this is a shrewd move by Thomas de Maiziere. His announcement comes just a day before he travels to Brussels to meet other EU interior ministers to discuss the migrant crisis. The measure will help him put pressure on other European countries to do their bit. It highlights just how much Germany is struggling to cope.

The move could also serve as a useful threat; after all, Mr de Maiziere said Germany was controlling the border with Austria “first”, the implication being more could follow. The possibility that Germany might suddenly decide to control its other borders could well help jolt EU partners into action.

But I Didn’t Inhale

September 13, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Health, Helections, Hideology, High Art, Humor Tags: Anton Hofreiter, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Legalization, Legislation, Marijuana, Pot 1 Comment

Now this one here knocked my socks CLEAN off. Finally, some real news.

German GREEN whip Anton Hofreiter from the GREEN party has revealed in a shocking interview about his new GREEN Book entitled “Toking and Criminality” that yes, he, too, he HIM-GREEN-SELF actually smoked GREEN pot in his youth. He didn’t do it all that often, though. And it goes without saying that he didn’t inhale. And that was way back when in his youth, like he says. When he was young and stuff.

His drugs today are wine and beer. Damn. He reminds me of me.

“Ja, ich habe in meiner Jugend gekifft.”

The Donald’s 15 Minutes Threatening US-Amerika’s Once Proud Democracy

September 11, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: American Dream, Anti-Americanism, Der Spiegel, Donald Trump, Doom, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Gloom, Journalism, The Rich 10 Comments

Here’s this here way sophisticated high-brow Spiegel article in a nutshell like.

The American Dream is broken (again).

The super-rich are the only people who have profited from the considerable economic growth in the US in recent decades (the plain old filthy rich were left out in the cold this time, I guess).

The shifts in income that have taken place in recent years are destroying the moral fabric of society (maybe, but it’s a fabric still made in the USA, pal, so deal with it).

Not a single one of the current candidates for president is willing to call for an increase in taxes (this is a very, very Bad Thing for some reason).

The super-wealthy are against anything that might help the bottom 90 percent to rise (that is one heavy bottom, isn’t it?).

America is just an oligarchy with unlimited political bribery being the essence of getting the nominations for president or to elect the president (quoted form someone who should know: Jimmy Carter).

But is it really any more democratic that a billionaire can buy his own election instead of allowing himself to be bought by others?

Better Late Than Never?

September 10, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Health, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Helmut Schmidt, Smoking Leave a comment

81 years of smoking down the drain.

After a recent stay in a Hamburg hospital, ex-chancellor Helmut Schmidt has finally decided that 96 is the right age to stop smoking. I’ll miss his politically incorrect smoking on talk shows here (or Talkshows, if you prefer). He went out of his way to annoy everybody with it.

Der 96-Jährige war als notorischer Raucher bekannt – selbst in Talkshows durfte er sich einen Klimmstengel anzünden.

Is Bild Without Bild Still Bild?

September 9, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humility Tags: Bild, Bildzeitung, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Images, Immigration, Journalism, Migrants, Newspapers, Pictures, Refugees 1 Comment

Germany’s best-selling newspaper has removed all pictures from its print edition and website in response to complaints about its decision to publish images of the three-year-old Syrian refugee who drowned trying to reach Greece.

The decision to remove pictures in print and online comes less than a week after the newspaper dedicated its whole back page to the distressing image of Alan lying face down on the beach in Bodrum, surrounded by a black background and a plea for action from Europe.

Finally: An Imaginary Illness For The Rest Of Us

September 8, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypochondria Tags: Bore-Out, Boredom, Burn-out, Disease Mongering, German, Germans, Germany, Imaginary Diseases, Retirement, Work 1 Comment

It might not be as severe as bummed-out disorder or as sexy as burn-out syndrome, but bore-out looks like the kind of imaginary disease that might just be right up my alley.

Germans just can’t wait to get it, either. Although they’ll still have to.

Whereas in US-Amerika bore-out might describe a a situation in which an employee’s zest for work has been extinguished by an unchallenging rather than an unmanageable workload, German bore-out has been specially redesigned to affect early retirees and others like them who have spent their entire working lives looking forward to doing just that (retiring early or otherwise) and are now bored to tears.

Sadly, there is no known cure for bore-out. Other than to stop being bored, of course. And to stop being boring while you’re at it.

„Täglich Zeitung lesen.“

The Problem With European Immigration Policy…

September 6, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: EU, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Migrants, Refugees Leave a comment

Is that there is no European immigration policy.

There is a mish-mash of national policies, a patchwork of systems and criteria which are contradictory, incoherent, fragmented. Italy is very far way from Finland, not only geographically, but when it comes to immigration and asylum. France and Germany have quite different historical approaches to integrating newcomers. Sweden and Denmark are neighbours with a close shared history, but their immigration policies are chalk and cheese.

The seven countries of central Europe and the Baltic are being asked to take fewer than 30,000. It should not be a problem for big international cities such as Warsaw, Prague and Budapest. But the east Europeans are retreating into parochialism, digging into their national bunkers while nursing resentment at what they perceive to be German bullying.

Hungary’s prime minister, Viktor Orbán, is the cheerleader of the “Europe is useless” chorus, but Robert Fico, the Slovakian premier, and President Milos Zeman in Prague are not far behind. Ewa Kopacz, the prime minister of Poland, sounds more moderate, but she looks likely to lose an election next month to the nationalist right. Her hands are tied.

I wouldn’t worry about any of this, however. Think Greece: Europe always manages to get together in the end, when stalling for time is no longer possible, to not solve a problem by doing almost just enough to put it off until it does not go away by itself.

“If this is Europe, you can keep it.”

Who Would Want To Stay In My Crappy Country?

September 4, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Hungary, Migration, Populism, Refugees, Viktor Orban 2 Comments

Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban has brushed off calls for Hungary to reconsider its rejection of a fairer redistribution system for refugees across all countries belonging to the European Union by explaining how nobody in their right mind would want to set foot much less spend the night in a rotten country like his. He then named a few other trashy European nations no self-respecting war refugee would want anything to do with, suggesting he could name a whole lot more where those came from.

“The problem is not European, it’s German. Nobody would like to stay in Hungary, neither Slovakia, Poland or Estonia. All of them would like to go to Germany,” the well-meaning prime minister said.

Der hässliche Populismus Viktor Orbáns kann nicht über die eigentliche Ursache der Flüchtlingskrise hinwegtäuschen: Die EU hat das Thema Migration völlig unterschätzt.

Coffee From Togo To Be Heavily Taxed

September 3, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Coffee, Deposits, Environmentalists, German, Germans, Germany, Government Intervention, Green Shirts, Greens, Language, Lobbies, Taxation 2 Comments

At last count, Germans who purchase coffee from Togo toss some 3 billion of the disposable cups used to temporarily carry it in each and every year.

Predictably outraged by this, German green shirts have predictably outraged German coffee vendors by suggesting that a 20-cent tax be placed on this luxury drink to encourage coffee Togo connoisseurs to bring along their reusable and occasionally re-washable coffee Togo coffee cups with them, preferably hanging on the environmentally friendly coffee Togo belt loop hangers attached to their biodegradable pants.

Should this prove to be too impractical for some customers, the ecological crusaders suggest, vendors should offer them a discount option (taxpayer subsidized) of drinking the invigorating beverage directly from their trembling cupped hands.

“Nehmen Sie sich ein wenig Zeit und trinken Ihren Kaffee vor Ort – aus einer Tasse.”

Not Bright To Call Germany Dark

September 2, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humility, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Migrants, Refugees Leave a comment

It is weder (neither) dark noch (nor) bright.

Personally, I like to think of it as being more of a Wehrmacht gray. No, wait. Leave that Wehrmacht part out. Gray like all cats are in the dark, I mean. When it’s not light out there in Dark Germany.

And being that it’s always darkest before the dawn and there is no darkness but ignorance and out of darkness comes creation, well, let’s all lighten up and Schluss (enough) with these all of these dark thoughts already.

Which Germany will prevail? The Germany of racist chants from the roadside? The Germany of rioters and drunken rock-throwers? “Dark Germany,” as President Joachim Gauck calls it? Or will it be the new, bright Germany, represented by the young policeman with his roots in Afghanistan?

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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