Plan B For Bankrupt

April 26, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Debt, Euro, Eurogruppe, Eurozone, Germany, Greece, Grexit, Schäuble, Varoufakis Leave a comment

Tick tock tick tock…

German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble hinted on Saturday that Berlin was preparing for a possible Greek default, drawing a parallel with the secrecy of German reunification plans in 1989.

“You shouldn’t ask responsible politicians about alternatives,” Schaeuble answered, adding one only need to use one’s imagination to envisage what could happen.

He indicated that if he were to answer in the affirmative that ministers were working on a Plan B — what to do when Greece runs out of money and cannot pay back its debt — he could trigger panic.

“Da ist überhaupt nichts dran. Der Plan B wurde nicht diskutiert.”

German Of The Day: Annäherung

April 8, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Debt, EU, German, Germany, Greece, Grexit, Humor, Language, Russia, Satire, Trojan Horse 2 Comments

That means approach or rapprochement.

This Just In: Germany Suddenly Owes Greece $305 Billion For World War II

April 7, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Debt, EU, Euro Zone, Germany, Greece, Humor, Reparations, Satire, WWII 1 Comment

Or at least that’s what the Greek parliament just figured out.

However, Italy also suddenly owes Greece $216 billion for its invasion in 1940, too, they said.

After that you’ve got the Ottoman Empire owing the Greeks $197 billion for, well, for being Turks.

Then the Roman Empire will also still need to shell out an additional $116 billion for those nasty Macedonian wars.

And then, of course, Iran will have to step up and pay Greece $97 billion for the ugly Persian Invasion back in 484 BC.

This will still leave Greece with a humungous debt, of course, the parliamentarians noted, but nothing that another little loan from their friends in the European Union won’t fix.

To Russia With Love

March 30, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Bailouts, Debt, EU, Euro, Euro Zone, Europe, Gazprom, Germany, Greece, Grexit, Putin, Russia, Socialists, Tsipras, Varoufakis 3 Comments

I mean with debt. Go with God, Greece, but go (to Russia for more dough). I’m sure they’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.

Greece’s energy minister is visiting Russia today after calling for a confrontation with a “Germanised Europe” in the country’s stalling bailout negotiations.

The visit comes less than a fortnight before Greek prime minister Alexis Tsipras is due to visit Russian president Vladimir Putin, the date of which was reportedly brought forward because of Greece’s financial disputes with the European Union.

“Today, it becomes even more evident to me that the pathway of the country away from the crisis goes through tough confrontation, if not collision, with the Germanized Europe.”

It’s Not That We’re Too Strong

March 29, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Christian Lindner, EU, Euro, Euro Zone, FDP, Germany, Greece, Grexit, Merkel, Polls, Third Reich 1 Comment

The rest of you guys out there in Europe are just too weak. Like start doing more push-ups or something.

German dominance is in part a consequence of others’ retreat. That may be why complaints have been muted. “If the Italians don’t bring pasta and the French don’t bring pâté,” says a diplomat, “you can’t complain about Mrs Merkel’s cabbage soup.

PS: And speaking of getting stronger, you folks over at the FDP should learn to smile a little already. Polls indicate that you’re back over that magical 5 percent line and could get back in the saddle again – if elections were to be held today.

Remember When Spain Was Down And Out?

March 25, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hi-tech, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: Economic Reform, Germany, Greece, Mercedes Benz, Opportunities, Reform, Spain 2 Comments

Mercedes Benz seems happy enough building cars there now, for instance. Then you’ve got the current Greek government…

The European Central Bank is predicting that Spain will be one of the economic drivers of Europe in 2015. Powered by a cheap euro and low interest, economic growth is predicted to rise by 2.3 percent this year. The Spanish government is expecting one million additional jobs for 2014 and 2015.

Along with Portugal and Ireland, Spain represents an example of how an economic crisis can be turned into an opportunity. These countries’ experiences show that a nation can recover its economic competitiveness through painful reform, even in a monetary union.

As a result, Spain — especially in the eyes of liberal economists — represents the counterpoint to Greece, which has gotten entangled in its national battle against economic relegation and is losing ever more time with its recriminations against the rest of the euro group.

German-Greek Tensions Ease After First WWII Reparations Payment Rolls In

March 22, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: EU, Germany, Government Waste, Greece, Grexit, Guilt, Humor, Reparations, Satire, WWII Leave a comment

European politicians everywhere breathed a collective sigh of relief as a mentally challenged German couple holidaying in Greece made the first ever private WWII reparations payment of $935 to Greece to make up for their government’s bad and nasty attitude.

Spokesmen for Brussels and Berlin were quick to point out that this shows how private people with good intentions can also “burn up money like nobody’s business” and how “like you shouldn’t always point your finger just at us when we squander away our dough. Your dough, that is. You’re pretty good at this, too.”

“They made their calculations and said each German owed 875 euros for what Greece had to pay during World War II.”

Eclipse Faked By Jan Böhmermann

March 20, 2015 By Hermann Observer in High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax) Tags: Fakes, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Humor, Jan Böhmermann, Satire, SoFi, Solar Eclipse, TV, Varoufakis, Videos Leave a comment

That was the sunniest damned eclipse I ever saw, people. What a dud. I think it was faked by Jan Böhmermann.

The row (about the Varoufakis flip off video) took a fresh twist on Wednesday evening when satirical programme Neo Magazin Royale, on a rival channel, claimed that it had doctored the video and uploaded it to the internet.

Host Jan Böhmermann claimed his team had used digital editing software to insert the indecent gesture. Then it showed another clip it said was the original, in which Mr Varoufakis made the same remarks but without the gesture. A regretful Mr Böhmermann told his audience they were behind the “fake” Stinkefinger footage.

It didn’t take long, however, until the fake was itself revealed as a fake.

„Dieser Witz hat nie stattgefunden.”

Germans Outraged About Greek Finance Minister Giving Them The Finger

March 17, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Fingers, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Obama, Steinbrück, Varoufakis Leave a comment

Sort of. Politicians just don’t do that kind of thing, you know.

It undermines their credibility or something.

Appearing on German TV on Sunday, Yanis Varoufakis denied that footage showing him raise his middle finger at Berlin was genuine.

A New Axis Of Evil Or Something

March 2, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: EU, Euro, Germany, Greece, Portugal, Reform, Spain, Tsipras 1 Comment

It’s not just Germany hurting Greek feelings anymore (although the Germans are still evil, too).

The Greek government is now accusing Spain and Portugal of conspiring against it, as well. It’s a conspiracy, you see, because these two countries are willing to carry out the stringent reforms needed to get their economies going again. Greece clearly is not.

Greece’s leftist Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras accused Spain and Portugal on Saturday of leading a conservative conspiracy to topple his anti-austerity government, saying they feared their own radical forces before elections this year.

How much longer is this show going to go on?

“Nach europäischen Maßstäben war das ein sehr ungewöhnliches Foulspiel. Das tun wir nicht in der Euro-Gruppe, das gehört sich nicht.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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