Russia Scared?

Of 17 German officers and 30 Belgian troops who have just arrived in Lithuania?

Troops

I’m scared, too. Or at least I was. That I hadn’t read that right, I mean. But now I’m scared again because I checked once more and I did read that right: German troops land in Lithuania amid Russia fears.

Though political parties within Germany – whose national history makes it a hesitant military leader – clashed over the deployment of German troops, Lithuanian President Dalia Grybauskaite greeted Germany’s decision to lead the NATO forces as a “breakthrough” for the future of European defense.

Moscow, on the other hand, has criticized the move as an example of NATO aggression against Russia.

German Of The Day: Stiff Upper Lippe

That means stiff upper lip.

Trump

And that’s what meany Berlin politician types are struggling with to keep up after Donald Trump’s latest bizarre attacks against Germany, the EU and NATO.

In trying to console themselves, however, many German stiff-upper-lippers remind the rest of us that Donald Trump is also against the UN, the CIA, the FBI, AC/DC, TCP/IP and even LSD itself, to name just a few. Although the LSD…

With a stiff upper lip, Steffen Seibert instead pledged that Berlin would “co-operate closely” with the Trump administration.

Germans Worried American Tanks Could Be Dangerous

The “risky roadshow” now rolling across Germany toward Poland could be, I dunno, an “embodiment of the United States’ commitment to deterring aggression and defending our European Allies and partners” or something.

Tanks

And who could possibly want that?

Some 3,500 troops from the 4th Infantry Division in Fort Carson, Colorado, will join up with the equipment, which includes 87 tanks and 144 Bradley fighting vehicles, over the next two weeks… The new forces will gather first in Poland, then fan out across seven countries from Estonia to Bulgaria. A headquarters unit will be stationed in Germany.

Bedrohliche Musik, Bilder bewaffneter Milizionäre in der Ukraine, Karten eines sich nach Westen ausbreitenden Russlands: Die US-Armee in Europa hat auf ihrer Website ein Video über ihre Operation “Atlantic Resolve” (“Atlantische Entschlossenheit”) veröffentlicht: Die Botschaft: Nach der Besetzung der Krim und der Destabilisierung der Ostukraine könnte Russlands nächstes Opfer ein EU-Land sein, weshalb die US-Armee Europa zur Hilfe eilt.

Germany Planning To Unveil Secret Hell-Freezing-Over Device

They must be. Otherwise they wouldn’t be so delusional about thinking that they could ever have the bittiest little chance of getting a permanent seat on the UN Security Council.

UN

I don’t know what German foreign minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier (SPD) has been smoking these past few days but he has certainly been on a roll. This is the same guy, mind you, who just accused the NATO of warmongering by staging military exercises in support of its eastern NATO members (they appear to be concerned about some other types of exercises being carried out by another way big non-NATO country just a bit further down the road).

And now he thinks that a toothless, nay-saying nation like Germany somehow has the right to determine policy in the body that is at least nominally charged with the maintenance of international peace and security? Like I said. It must be some really good stuff.

Steinmeier, an honor graduate from the Neville Chamberlain Institute of Applied Appeasement, now specializes in mistaking cause and effect and is also branching out into the popular field of abandoning worried NATO neighbor countries in the East.

NATO Picking On Russia Again

And warmongering. Just ask German foreign minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier (SPD).

NATO

“What we should not do now is inflame the situation with sabre-rattling and warmongering,” he said. The “situation” being Russia’s annexation of Crimea and its continued military intervention in Ukraine, which is apparently something other than sabre-rattling and warmongering when viewed from Berlin.

Steinmeier, an honor graduate from the Neville Chamberlain Institute of Applied Appeasement, now specializes in mistaking cause and effect and is also branching out into the popular field of abandoning worried NATO neighbor countries in the East. But despite all the rhetoric, the German foreign ministry assures the world that Germany’s mighty army, a formidable threat to Russia, will be there for its allies whenever it should be needed.

Was wir jetzt nicht tun sollten, ist durch lautes Säbelrasseln und Kriegsgeheul die Lage weiter anzuheizen.

We Are The One Percent

Whereas in 1990 there were 585,000 soldiers in the German army, this number has now dropped to 177,000. The military budget, meanwhile, currently stands at a little over 1 percent of GDP.

That’s GDP for Got no Dinero, Partner.

Bundeswehr

But now Germany is going to change all of that or something and like totally increase its military spending by, I dunno, way lots. Or at least that is how we are supposed to see it. Flinten-Uschi (Ursula von der Leyen) has taken control and isn’t going to take it anymore – and is also shooting for a raise and a new job at the Chancellery one day, by the way.

Nonetheless, the new commitment still keeps Germany way below its NATO commitment to invest two percent of GDP in its military. For that it would have needed to raise the budget to €60 billion instead of €39.2 billion

Ständig kommen neue Auslandseinsätze auf die Bundeswehr zu, aber ihre Ausrüstung ist veraltet oder technisch anfällig. Die Aufstockung der Truppe löst die Probleme nicht.

Then We’ll Send Our Better Half

Syria conflict: Half of German Tornado jets ‘not airworthy’

Tornado

Ain’t no big deal, as German Defense Minister Ursula von der Leyen has stressed, because Germany only needs to send six Tornado jets for the proposed mission against Islamic State (IS) militants in Syria. Six that maybe ought to be halfway operational, she means.

This German war machine, she is stll broken, señor (thank goodness weapons exports are still A-OK, though).

“Die Lage der fliegenden Systeme bleibt unbefriedigend.”

Germany Says No Before Being Asked, Again

Fearing any possible Alleingänge (going it alone) by Germany, Germany is once again going it alone by telling the world it will not participate in any bombing of ISIS positions before the world ever even thinks of asking it to. This is something it wouldn’t do in the first place, of course, the world not being completely von gestern (born yesterday) and knowing damned well the answer to that question in advance.

France

Unlike every other country in said world, Germany has an unpleasant past (that it read about once) only it’s called Vergangenheit, which makes it sound even more unpleasant than it needs to, and is therefore permanently exempt from ever having to participate in any kind of unpleasantness that might be overly unpleasant like, say, defending your next-door neighbor’s right to live without fear in a free society, but will be offering moral support instead, the German nation having more morals than it knows what to do with.

Die Ermittlungen nach den Verantwortlichen für die Terroranschläge in Paris laufen auf Hochtouren. 23 Tatverdächtige sitzen mittlerweile in Gewahrsam. Derweil will sich Deutschland nicht an den Luftangriffen gegen den IS beteiligen.

German Of The Day: Bündnisfall

That means casus foederis in Latin. OK, OK, and that means a “case for the alliance.” The NATO alliance, that is. Article 5. And that’s the case we have in Paris right now.

NATO

The Islamic State just attacked us. This isn’t rocket science, folks.

The coordinated terror attacks across Paris that left more than 120 dead and hundreds wounded have prompted calls for global intervention from France’s allies against the Islamic State group, which took responsibility for the attacks. As world leaders decried the attacks as an “act of war” and international media trumpeted the arrival of World War III, security experts said Saturday a perfect storm could be brewing for an invocation of the NATO’s Article 5, the clause declaring an attack against one ally to be an attack against all.

“Das war ein Kriegsakt einer feindlichen Armee, des ‘Islamischen Staates,'” Wir befinden uns im Krieg mit dem ‘Islamischen Staat'”

NATO’s Eastern European Members

Beautiful German weapon sales of the week.

NATO

Because somebody has to admire them.

Military action by Russian-backed groups against Ukrainian government forces has started to nudge policymakers back towards weaponry designed to resist a land assault.