Wandel durch Handel

Hey, that rhymes!

Merkel
It means “change through trade” and applies of course to German trade with Russia. And that policy certainly seems to be working great these days, don’t you think?

There’s more Wandel going on in Russia (and in what’s left of a certain country bordering it) than even the Germans can Handel.

Sanctions and other measures must come step by step, giving Mr Putin chance after chance to stop further escalation.

Tsar Vladimir Vs. The Empire Of Peace

Gee, I wonder who is going to win? Or who just won, I mean.

Putin

Russia is back and intent to recoup its losses suffered at cold war’s end. Mr. Obama’s America is difficult to fathom as it disarms and turns inward (for “a little nation-building at home,” as the president keeps intoning). So suddenly, Europe – this self-proclaimed “empire of peace” – has to recalculate, and Germany is the best bellwether of change.

Germany? And the Pres himself? You can kiss Crimea goodbye for good, Ukraine.

Putin will go as far as he can get with minimal risk and effort.

Influential Gazprom Lobbyist Explains How EU Is To Blame For Coming Russian Annexation Of Crimea

A highly influential lobbyist for Russia’s steamrolling natural gas colossus Gazprom (and former chancellor of Germany) has taken time off from his busy disinformation timetable to explain how the European Union’s policy toward Ukraine caused this whole unfortunate Russian-Ukraine-Crimea mess in the first place.

Putin

The loggyist explained how when the EU offered Ukraine an association agreement based on what he called “either/or” terms (either the EU or Russia), this confused practically everyone involved because, as we all know, offering people a free choice “over there” can only lead to the wrong choice being made, thus giving Russia the legal right to intervene, more or less.

“In the 1930s, Nazi Germany occupied part of neighbouring Czechoslovakia under the pretext of protecting ethnic Germans.”

What The Frack?

US-Amerikan gas has suddenly become a whole lot more attractive to Europeans these days for some strange reason.

Gas

“European nations…will, if no solution to this can be found, recast their approach to energy and economic links with Russia over time. Those are things over time which I think will mean this has been a serious miscalculation [by Russia],” British Foreign Secretary William Hague said.

Britain buys about 1% of its natural gas from Russia, but other European nations purchase more than a third of their needs, which means they wouldn’t be in a position to simply do without that supply, he said.

Angesichts der anhaltenden Spannungen in der Ukraine drohen europäische Politiker Russland mit Folgen im Energiemarkt. Europäische und amerikanische Politiker werden Verhandlungen über höhere US-Exporte nach Europa aufnehmen, sagte Großbritanniens Außenminister William Hague an.

Who Would Have Expected That?

Germans Oppose Russian Economic Sanctions – Poll.

Merkel

Uh, what else can you expect from a country where more than one-third of it’s gas and crude-oil imports come from Russia?

Mrs Merkel is Europe’s most powerful leader, yet her country has so far been the main obstacle to a firm, unified Western response.

Putin Clearly Shocked By EU Sanctions

The European Union’s daring suspension of talks with Russia on something or other after Russia’s military incursion into Ukraine’s Crimean Peninsula has shocked Russian president Vlad Putin so thoroughly that he has just been sighted wandering around in a shirtless daze on his shirtless horse somewhere near what is still the Ukrainian border but probably won’t be for very much longer.

Putin

Thank goodness he has not yet found out that the EU is also threatening even “tougher sanctions” unless Moscow swiftly defuses the crisis and Putin puts his shirt back on.

Meanwhile, Angela Merkel is still doing her damndest to put on the sanction brakes but has now announced that she is at least prepared to cast dirty looks at Putin, if he and his horse can be located. And if all else fails, of course.

Merkel

Die Staats- und Regierungschefs der EU haben sich auf kleine Sanktionen gegen Russland verständigt.

Germany Still Exporting Too Much Stuff

The German export surplus is still threatening the rest of Europe, the European Commission says.

Exports

Berlin disagrees, of course, pointing out that it imports tons of stuff, too.

Germany imports 24 percent of Russia’s natural gas exports, for instance, more than any other European country. It also has an 8.7 percent share of Russia’s foreign trade. Germany is also Russia’s biggest oil market, taking almost 700,000 barrels a day back in 2012. No dependency here. So quit the moaning already, Brussels, and let us get back to work.

“Der Handlungsbedarf ist erheblich angesichts der Größe der deutschen Wirtschaft.”

Where’s Gazprom-Gerd When You Need Him?

Probably taking tea at the “dyed-in-the-wool democrat’s” dacha.

Ukraine

When it comes to Russia’s unsolicited visit to Ukraine, German officials go out of their way to say that gas, money or jobs play absolutely no role in Berlin’s predictably soft-spoken, low-keyed, muffled, namby-pamby, wussy, pantywaisted and yellow bellied response to said unfortunate visit.

So now we all know of course that gas, money and jobs are probably playing the biggest role in Berlin’s said sad response to said event.

“Imposing sanctions on Russia because of Ukraine would put German jobs in danger.”

Gerd Knows Best

Ex-chancellor “Gazprom-Gerd” Schröder just can’t seem to sit still these days and has fired yet another salvo in his one-man undeclared unsolicited advice offensive.

Schroeder

He has now advised current chancellor Angela Merkel to leave office in a timely manner. For her own good, of course. And I, for one, certainly hope that she takes this advice to heart. If anybody out there knows about not having left office in a timely manner it’s this guy. In fact I think he should have left office a few days after having been elected. The first time, I mean. It would have only been for his own good, of course.

Gerhard Schröder—the former German chancellor, a man who said the Soviet Union of Leonid Brezhnev appeared more intent on peace than the Americans, and who since 2006 has been a Gazprom executive and Vladimir Putin’s chief shill among the countries of the European Union—has come up with a prescription for masking Moscow’s refusal to let Ukraine (or anyone else) leave Russia’s control and form an organic relationship with the West.

Goethe OK, But The EU ITSELF?

As if NSA surveillance, Google Street View (and Amazon, Facebook, Twitter, etc.), scary drone technology, unbridled imperialism, world domination and McDonald’s were not enough already, a well-intended leak has shown that American diplomats are now even using bad four-letter words when referring to the EU and other sacrosant international-like institutions, too.

FackjuGoethe

And the Chancellor HERSELF is really pissed off about this one this time. Eavesdropping on her cell phone is one thing, but using the F-word is “absolutely unacceptable.”

Of course, how German officials were even able to find out about the story is a bit of a mystery to me. The four-letter word in question is not allowed through their porno censorship system.

U.S. officials blamed Moscow for the Internet leak of recordings of Assistant Secretary of State Victoria Nuland and the U.S. ambassador in Kiev discussing a possible future government for Ukraine, where Washington and Brussels back anti-Kremlin demonstrators.

PS: Talk about stealing candy from a baby. Thieves had no problem breaking into a Bundeswehr barracks in Seedorf (no, it’s not in Afghanistan) and stealing 28,000 rounds of ammunition.