Category Archives: Hard Facts

Never Touch A Running System

February 3, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Why on earth do the folks over at the Bundeswehr think that they need to have a new camouflage system? The old camouflage is working amazingly well already.

Bundeswehr

Just like that guy up there in the snow, I can hardly find any Bundeswehr soldiers anywhere these days as it is. Not in Iraq, Afghanistan, Mali, you name it.

I also think that they are using some kind of a Klingon Cloaking Device for their tanks and other heavy military equipment, too – for the few pieces of heavy military equipment that are still working. Only they call it a Colonel Klinkon Cloaking Device, of course.

Das Wehrwissenschaftliche Institut hat für die Bundeswehr einen Tarnanzug entwickelt, der auch Nachtsichtgeräte täuschen kann.

German Roots?

February 1, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, History, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 5 Comments

What? Like hair roots? They look like they could have been developed in a German laboratory to me.

Trump

Now we know why this guy rubs so many of us the wrong way. His real name is actually Trumpf. Or it could have been. Sorry, I can’t find a German equivalent for Donald (they even call Donald Duck Donald Duck over here, in case you were wondering).

The ancestors of the “anti-immigrant” crusader Donald Trump come from a small village in western Germany. The documentary film “Kings of Kallstadt” explores the modest roots of the family’s real estate empire.

Frederick Trump immigrated to the US in 1885.

Water Now At Ankle Level

January 31, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

And rising, captain.

Polls

The chancellor and her party’s (and partner party’s) popularity poll ratings: Not wirklich (really) so good at the moment. Some think this might possibly maybe have something to do with her refugee policy.

A current election poll indicates that the popularity of the Union (CDU/CSU) has dropped to its lowest level since July, 2012. The weekly “Sunday trend” by the Emnid opinion research institute taken for the “Bild am Sonntag” newspaper indicates that the CDU and the CSU now have an approval rating of only 34 percent, two percentage points lower than the previous week.

Die Union kommt in einer aktuellen Wahlumfrage auf den schlechtesten Wert seit Juli 2012. Im Emnid-“Sonntagstrend”, den das Meinungsforschungsinstitut wöchentlich für die “Bild am Sonntag” erhebt, erreichen CDU und CSU nur noch 34 Prozent, zwei Prozentpunkte weniger als in der Vorwoche.

You Can Only Buy So Much Pepper Spray

January 28, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Damn. These are gettin’ to be purty near amerikanische Verhältnisse, folks.

Guns

For weeks arms sellers and regulatory agencies have seen increased demand for gun permits. Enrollment in self-defense courses is also up. Police say that is not yet a problem…

Germany has strict gun laws which stipulate that weapons may only be purchased under very specific circumstances. But with the so-called small arms permit, citizens are allowed to own weapons, such as gas cartridge guns or signal pistols. These may also be carried outside the home. The permit costs between 50 and 60 euros and the only restriction is that the applicant be a minimum 18 years of age.

PS: Dead refugee who died waiting in line outside a Berlin government office yesterday turned out to be not nearly as dead as originally reported. Uh, why is everyone in Germany prepared to believe a story like that and nobody wants to hear about a story like this?

And speaking of Sweden…

German Angst Is Back?

January 27, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , 1 Comment

What do you mean, back? Did it like step out for a quick cigarette when nobody was looking or something? I certainly never saw it leave.

Angst

I mean, Germans have angst when they don’t even need to have any angst (it’s “the German lifeblood“). That’s why they qualify German ‘angst’ with the ‘German’ part. They’re sure as hell going to have some angst whenever there’s a good reason to have angst. Talk about your no-brainer.

Here, help me answer these:

– Do we react more skittishly to change than others?

– What unnerves the Germans so much about this large influx of refugees? Is it fear of terror, or concern about rising crime, or diluting the culture?

– Are we being overcome by a fear of the future?

– Is there a typical anxious German?

– Is the political landscape in Germany fundamentally changing?

I’m glad you asked me that, Deutsche Welle. The answer here is, of course, yes.

Germany Not Personality-Driven?

January 25, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Not off the cliff yet, you mean? Let’s stay tuned.

Merkel

One potential explanation for Merkel’s boldness is that the German political system offers more shelter from public opinion than some others, particularly the American one, according to David Art, a political-science professor at Tufts University who focuses on comparative politics. In Germany’s “plodding” parliamentary democracy, political parties stand between the public and politicians. They choose which politicians to place on the ballot rather than relying on primary elections as in the United States. “Germany did not want to have, after Hitler, any sort of [personality-driven political] system,” Art said…

“Merkel needs success in the European negotiations about how to split the immigrants to different countries. If they find a way to organize immigration … then she won’t have to pay a price.”

Good luck with that.

German Of The Day: Antanzdiebstahl

January 24, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Antanzan = to “dance” up, as in to show up, make an appearance. Diebstahl = theft or robbery.

Antanzdiebstahl

Antanzen + Diebstahl = Antanzdiebstahl. This new German word refers to a new method of pickpocket robbery that certain new arrival-types to Germany are now using all across the country, “a type of con in which thieves approach victims and hug or otherwise surprise them, with the aim of distracting them in order to pick their pockets.”

Sex attacks and thefts like the ones that happened in Cologne on New Year’s Eve were also reported in 12 other German states, German media say. The information comes from a leaked report of the federal criminal police.

Germany Overall Best Country In Overall Best Of All Possible Worlds

January 21, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

But they still won’t let you do this here:

Refugees

Forget about trying this, too:

Refugees

Germany was ranked the overall best country in the world, according to the rankings released by US News & World Report on Wednesday…

Algeria was perceived as the worst country of the 60, with Ukraine and Iran rated just above.

And always remember: “Please don’t poop in showers.”

German Tornadoes Useless At Night?

January 20, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

So what? They’re pretty worthless during the day, too.

Tornadoes

In a new humiliation for Germany’s defense ministry, the six Tornado airplanes that had been touted as a much-needed German contribution to the fight against “Islamic State” terrorism are outfitted with lighting far too bright for pilots’ eyes.

Meanwhile… Ursula von der Leyen: “The Bundeswehr fights against ISIS in Syria and the Taliban in Afghanistan.”

Fights?

Germany stands in the way in the fight against ISIS!

In Syria the Bundeswehr does not “fight” at all. The Bundeswehr leaves the fighting to others (politically intended), for instance to the Kurds or the Americans, the French and the British. Kurdish troops fight on the ground against ISIS, having been furnished arms by Germany…

Nor does the Bundeswehr “fight” in Afghanistan, not for a long time now. It has pulled out of all contested areas. Since then the Taliban rules there – undisturbed by the Germans…

Many German soldiers have fought and died or ruined their health in Afghanistan. It is simply not fair to them to claim that the Bundeswehr “fights” anywhere against the Islamic threat.

Back To The Zukunft

January 19, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Hi-tech, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Is this for real, folks? Did they just pop through some 70s wormhole to wreak havoc in our own current space time continuum (assuming there is such a thing as a current one)?

RAF

DNA samples tell us that RAF terrorists (?) retro-terrorized us last June while attempting an armed robbery but we didn’t even notice it because, well, like what were they going to be? RAF terrorists or something? Besides, they botched it.

What is this? I mean, their pictures are still in black and white for crying out loud.

One thing is for certain, though: They did not get away in a DeLorean. They were using a Ford Focus. At least the cops know now that they didn’t get very far. That is definitely one “no future” automobile.

The three fled the scene – a supermarket car park in Gross Mackenstedt – in a Ford Focus, having failed to grab the cash that was inside the van. The two security men inside were unhurt.