German ISIS Defectors Explain How Terrorist Lifestyle Was Actually Somewhat Disappointing

Clearly not the sharpest knives in the drawer, two Germans who fought for ISIS in Syria are standing trial back home and are now prepared to give “deep insights” into the life of foreign fighters in Islamic State.

ISIS

One of the very first deep insights appears to be that life as an ISIS terrorist really, really, really sucks. Who would have thought that?

Although facing a potential jail term of 10 to 20 years, the IS defector called Ebrahim B. claimed to have gone through such horrible atrocities during three months in the Islamic State that “for him jail in Germany is preferable to freedom in Syria.”

Speaking Of Construction Projects…

So just let me get this straight. After one year Egypt has opened a major expansion of the freakin’ Suez Canal, deepening the waterway and providing ships with a 22 mile channel parallel to it.

Suez

Meanwhile, in Berlin…

The non-working airport, Berlin Brandenburg International (some prefer to call it Klaus Wowereit International), should have started working three years ago. It may start working in two years’ time. No one knows.

The most important thing to remember is German efficiency – both the term and concept – exists in our English-speaking world but not in theirs. You never hear Germans talking about German efficiency. Anyone who lives in Berlin knows why… While Germany may have a system for everything, Berlin proves every day there’s no system for when the system fails.

“Journalism Isn’t Treason”

That’s very true. But that’s not the issue here. Go ask folks like Edward Snowden or Julian Assange and they’ll tell you. We now live in an age where treason isn’t treason, either.

Treason

The case centres on the Netzpolitik.org (Net politics) blog, which earlier this year published documents on plans by Germany’s domestic security agency to expand its Internet surveillance.

“The freedom of the press and of expression is a valuable asset. But this freedom, including on the Internet, is not limitless. It does not absolve journalists of the duty to comply with the law.”

Dumb Question

“What Would Have Happened if Germany Had Invaded the U.S. During World War II?”

Germans

That’s easy. They would have ended up like this little Canadian robot dude who, like, just tried invading our country or something.

Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love, OK? Nobody ever said anything about robots.

Let’s be honest, whether fair or not, Philadelphia has a certain reputation. It’s a city where football fans booed and threw snowballs at Santa Claus. Baseball fans once threw D cell batteries (the big ones) at visiting outfielder J.D. Drew. And now, it’s where an adorable robot who was only counting on the kindness of strangers to hitchhike across the country was vandalized, effectively ending his summer trip.

Last Man Standing

Only she’s a girl.

Merkel

You have called Angela Merkel the modern-day empress of the eurozone. What do you mean?

The title empress reflects, in my view, two realities of present-day Europe. First, the Germans look so strong because the others look so weak. The British are withdrawing from Europe. The French are down but not out. They’re unable to rev up their economy – same thing for the Italians, same thing for the Spaniards. So, when you add it all up, who is the last man – or in this case, the last woman – standing?

The second reason is more concrete – the Germans have been in the vanguard of driving home fealty to the eurozone’s foundational treaties. These conventions enjoined member states, like Greece, not to overspend and over-borrow and, at the same time, to make their economies more efficient. Merkel and her finance minister are not austerity mongers as everybody is harping on about. They are committed to the original treaties’ stated rules that require eurozone members to reform their economies and become more competitive.

Zum ersten Mal seit 2005 könnte die Union einer Umfrage zufolge die absolute Mehrheit erreichen. Die Partei wäre mit 43 Prozent der Stimmen stärker als all anderen Parteien zusammen.

It Costs More To Make Germans Happy

At the happiest place on earth, I mean. When it’s on French earth, that is.

Disyneyland

French visitors pay €1,346 (£950) for a premium package, significantly less that the €1,870 (£1,320) Disneyland charges British visitors – and more than €1,000 (£706) less than the €2,447 (£1727) bill handed to Germans.

I can understand that, sort of. Americans still do get in for free though, right?

Die EU-Kommission geht Vorwürfen nach, dass der Vergnügungspark Disneyland Paris Besucher aus Deutschland und anderen Ländern wegen ihrer Herkunft benachteiligt.

German Of The Day: Bombenstimmung

That means a tremendous, “bomb-like” atmosphere. And that’s definitely the kind of mood some of those fine, wholesome folks down there in that little old one-horse town called Freital, Saxony seem to be in.

Freital

A local politician who supported a plan to house refugees in the town of Freital outside Dresden has been the victim of an arson attack. The Left party said that Michael Richter was the target of right-wing threats…

In recent weeks, Freital – just 10 kilometers (6 miles) southwest of Dresden – has been the scene of increasingly tense political rhetoric and sporadic violence after city authorities announced in June that the town of around 40,000 would house 280 refugees in a former hotel. Some locals responded by launching a series of increasingly virulent anti-asylum seeker demonstrations, culminating in a July 6 town hall meeting which saw protestors clash with town politicians.

Sheesh. Ugly Germans of the week? These folks have now been awarded the entire month of July.

Speaking Of Posing With Animals…

What’s wrong with this picture?

FKK

Dogs are allowed on the beaches here.

Six odd things Germans do in the summer: These summer pastimes show that Germans’ reputation for being uptight and straight-laced sticklers for punctuality couldn’t be further from the truth. Many like nothing better than getting naked and drunk, and blocking up public traffic routes on the way.

Historical Monstrosities Historical Monuments

We’re so ugly we’re beautiful.

Berlin

What few in 1989 wanted was the supposedly dumpy, chronically unfashionable late-1960s buildings around Alexanderplatz, relics of a defunct, unlovable regime that were perceived as having little or no architectural value.

So that’s precisely what we all just got.

The monuments are certainly far from the worst constructions of their time. Best known and most popular is the World Clock, a kitschy but delightful sculpture-cum-timepiece created in 1969 that has long been a popular meeting spot for locals.

More German “Universalization,” Please

German policy-makers genuinely believe the harsh medicine for Greece and others is the right thing to do, he added. In some ways, Germany is “trying to universalize its own history,” Mr. Kundnani noted. That history includes an extreme leeriness of inflation and debt, plus more recent experience about a decade ago with a series of successful economic reforms, including an overhaul of its labour market.

Germany

“I don’t see Germany as being an outlier. I see it rather as someone who is in the middle ground and seeking a balance. Germany is taking a lead by managing the debate.”