Isn’t That Special

Germany Isn’t Special – To pull its weight, it needs to start seeing itself as a normal country, subject to the same pressures as all its neighbors.

Germany

Polls before this weekend’s elections in states in the former East Germany show the right-wing Alternative for Germany (AfD) comfortably capturing 20 percent or more of the vote. This is just one of the ways in which the country at the center of Europe is confronting a new state of affairs.

Ever since reunification, Germany has built its liberal democracy on a few key pillars—a disavowal of the extreme right, a focus on economic performance, and a steadfast relationship to the United States—to avoid a return to the conflagrations of the past. By following these guidelines, the country has won itself respect around the globe. But it has also persisted in treating itself as a special case, not subject to the pressures affecting its Western peers. That, in turn, has led to resentment among its partners. It is time for Germany to buck its postwar policy traditions and begin to see itself for what it is: a normal power.

A German friend of mine summed it up more succinctly: Die Deutschen wollen immer eine Extrawurst haben. The Germans always want “an extra sausage” = special treatment. Are those days finally over? In the real world, I mean? Stay tuned.

“Treacherous Manslaughter?”

Getting shot in the head twice with a silenced Glock 29 by an electric bicycle-riding man in a Berlin park in broad daylight?

Russians

Except for the broad daylight part I’d say yeah, that’s pretty treacherous (“treacherous manslaughter” is what the suspected killer is being charged with).

The killing of a former Chechen separatist commander in central Berlin has raised concerns that Russia may have deployed an agent to a European nation to target a Kremlin opponent, a tactic it has been accused of using many times in the past.

The victim, Zelimkhan Khangoshvili, who fought against Russian troops in the second Chechen war 20 years ago, was on his way to Friday prayers last week when he was shot in the head twice by a bicycle-riding man using a handgun with a silencer, according to witness accounts cited in the German news media.

The Russian government in 2006 legalized the killings abroad of people who were judged to pose terrorist threats, resuming a Soviet-era practice.

Russischer Geheimdienst womöglich in Mord an Exil-Georgier verwickelt.

They’ll Never Set Foot In Combat

So why on earth would they need combat boots?

Boots

More Bundeswehr humor. It’s a never-ending source of… Fun.

German soldiers won’t get new combat boots until 2022 – German soldiers will have to wait until 2022 to get new combat boots, in a setback that has angered politicians and raised questions about the readiness of the country’s military.

The rollout of the new footwear, which began in 2016, was scheduled to be completed by 2020 but has now been pushed back to mid-2022.

“Boots are the key to everything. You don’t go skiing with a pair of trainers and you don’t go hiking in high heels.”

How Rude Or Something

Ninety percent of the nationalities give the other ten percent a bad reputation, I say. Or was it the other way around? I forget.

Nationality

Police in western German state to reveal nationality in all crimes – Police in North Rhine-Westphalia will now name every crime suspect’s nationality — and not just in crimes where it’s considered relevant. It’s a sensitive topic against the background of recent immigration to Germany.

“I am convinced that this transparency is the best means against clumsy deception.”

Donald Trump Threatens Germany With Visit

Clearly worried about his health after confiding to Angela Merkel  during G7 talks that he “has German in his blood,” President Donald Trump announced that he will be coming to Germany “very soon.”

Trump

To seek medical attention, I assume. German doctors probably know best when it comes to getting  “German” out of the bloodstream and why take any chances with a threatening ailment like this.

Let’s just hope it won’t be too late because worrying signs of the blood illness appeared during said talks when Trump grew delirious and called Merkel “a brilliant woman” at one point.

“Ich habe Deutsches in meinem Blut.”

Save Money At Your Own Risk, Thrifty Germans

That virtue is going to cost you in today’s Europe.

Cash

Germany in Uproar as Negative Rates Threaten Saving Obsession – Germany’s overcrowded banking industry has long contended with sub-par profitability, but after five years of negative rates, lenders are running out of ways to offset the hit to earnings. With the country gearing up for regional elections next month, the ECB is an easy target for a country known for its risk-averse attitude to money and its habit of hording savings in checking accounts. At 2.35 trillion euros ($2.6 trillion), no other country in the euro area has a larger pile of retail deposits.

“These suggestions show how far the undesired side effects of the ECB’s negative rates stretch.”

Speaking Of Null…

Zero, that is.

Debt

Germany May Abandon Its Beloved Black Zero – Chancellor Angela Merkel is still clinging to her policy of a balanced budget, but it is becoming increasingly clear that Germany’s economic downturn could soon usher in a return to deficit spending…

For years now, a balanced federal budget, known here in Germany as the “schwarze Null,” or black zero, without any fresh borrowing, has been a permanent fixture of German fiscal policy. After four decades of chronic borrowing to finance the German national budget, the shift stood for the renunciation of the debt state and became a symbol of sound policy. But now the issue is the subject of debate again — not only due to expensive political plans, but also the threat of a recession in Germany…

“We can accomplish the tasks at hand without accruing new debt.”

German Of The Day: Null

That means zero. Nothing. Nada.

Zero

And zero is what you get if you purchase the world’s first 30-year bond featuring – zero income. Not much of an outcome there. What a steal. In more ways than one.

Germany Regrets Size of Bond That Pays Nothing as Auction Flops – The world’s first 30-year bond featuring zero income struggled to find buyers, prompting Germany’s debt agency to admit the sale may have been “too large.”

The nation failed to meet a 2-billion-euro target ($2.2 billion) for the auction of notes maturing in 2050, signaling that negative yields across Europe may finally be taking their toll on demand. It’s another sign that the global bond rally may be coming to a halt now that more than $16 trillion of securities have negative yields.

“The broader conclusion is that this is an ominous sign for cash bonds.”

And What’s The Problem With That?

German-U.S. Ties Are Breaking Down – Never since the founding of postwar Germany have relations between Berlin and the United States been as fragile as they are today. There is virtual radio silence between Chancellor Angela Merkel and President Donald Trump and U.S. Ambassador Richard Grenell is doing more to agitate the situation than to mediate.

Germany

It’s quite easy to explain, really: “I’m making them pay their bills” and the Germans don’t want to pay these bills. They’ve never paid them in the past, they’re thinking, so why should we pay them now? If there’s anything else I can do to straighten any of this up for you here, just ask.

“There is no understanding, but there are also no misunderstandings.”

Dying?

Long dead is more like it. The German Air Farce.

Air Force

Germany’s Air Force Is Dying: Everything You Need To Know – AFebruary ministry report showed only 39 of 128 Eurofighter jets were available for training and combat use last year on average, and just 26 of 93 older-model Tornado fighter jets.

The problem – for anybody on the outside out there – is assuming that anyone here gives a damn. And the punchline: The German defense minister directly responsible for this just got promoted and will now be running the EU. Get it?

Die Luftwaffe is at a low point.