Miss G.
Beautiful German of the week.
Because somebody has to admire them.
“None of us [the other contestants] voted for the Philippines… I’m really not happy with the result.”
Edumacated Germans To Smart Four So-So Media
You know, like Tweeter and all that stuff?
Uh oh. Just look at that chart. Yet another German Alleingang (solo action), or what?
Statistics show that unlike other industrial nations, more highly-educated Germans avoid social networks than people with little or no education.
“This mixture of protectionism and distaste for communication organized through the market economy makes the educated classes see the power of social media more as a threat than an opportunity.”
Mehr Bildung = weniger Social Media. Jedenfalls in Deutschland
Rejected Asylum Seeker Problem To Be Solved In No Time
In no geologic time, I mean.
Wow. “Germany reports doubling of deportation numbers 2015” to more than 18,000 rejected asylum seekers, the headline goes. So, in other words, take a chill pill and relax already everybody. At this rate the rest of those to be rejected – from the 1,000,000+++ that have arrived so far in Germany this year – ought to be back home again by Easter, thus reducing the number remaining to 1,000,000++ (that’s minus one +). From the 2015 number, I mean. Next year all bets are off, however.
In 2014, German authorities registered 10,884 deportations. This year, the number rose to 18,363 until the end of November, the interior ministry said.
We Always Knew This Guy Didn’t Have Any Balls
Now it’s official.
Analysis of long-lost medical notes seems to confirm that Nazi leader suffered from cryptorchidism, or an undescended right testicle.
Schon seit über 70 Jahren halten sich die hartnäckigen Gerüchte, Adolf Hitler hätte nur einen Hoden gehabt. Britische Soldaten schmetterten im Zweiten Weltkrieg den Schmähgesang “Hilter has only got one ball” (zu deutsch: Hitler hat nur ein Ei).
Body L.
German ISIS Terrorist Comes Clean, Has Face And Most Of Last Name Removed
Harry S., after all, is more than just a witness to firing squads and decapitations. He also says that on several occasions, IS members tried to recruit volunteers for terrorist attacks in Germany. In the spring, just after he first arrived in Syria, he says that he and another Islamist from Bremen were asked if they could imagine perpetrating attacks in Germany. Later, when he was staying not far from Raqqa, the self-proclaimed Islamic State capital city, masked men drove up in a jeep. They too asked him if he was interested in bringing the jihad to his homeland. Harry S. says he told them that he wasn’t prepared to do so.
“Merkel, you dirty dog, We will take revenge.”
Germans Have Nothing To Fear But Angst Itself
German Angstforscher (fear research specialists) at the GfK research institute in Nuremberg have determined that the majority of Germans polled are fearful about the coming year, up nearly double from last year’s survey.
This immediately made the Germans reading these results even more ängstlich (fearful), screwing up the survey for the 69th year running.
Researchers then tried calming everybody down again by explaining to them that these types of studies have certain weaknesses and should not be taken at face value. Many of the Germans they attempt to survey, for instance, suddenly break out in a wild panic and run away in terror before completing the questionnaires. So the numbers could actually be a lot worse or something, they said.
The poll, carried out by the German market research institute GfK on behalf of the Hamburg BAT Foundation for Future Studies, found that 55 percent of Germans are fearful about the coming year, up from 31 percent last year, and 28 percent in 2013.
“Donald Trump hätte auch bei uns gute Chancen.”
Hate Speech To Be Gone Within 24 Hours, Dumb Speech Remains Untouched
In an international move of solidarity to promote goodness and niceness the world over for the betterment of the entire human race itself, the nations of Germany, Facebook Google and Twitter have agreed to end hate speech from their websites in our time or at least within 24 hours of its issue.
“This cuts right to the root of the whole hate thing,” a spokesman for the nation of Germany stressed. “As we have all learned through our years of experience in enforcing political correctness, merely using the proper terminology or “newspeak” is enough to alleviate the actual causes behind this improper way of thinking, I mean speaking. It’s like magic.”
Another spokesman assured the public that only hate speech will be targeted here and that all that other kinds of dumb, inane and annoying speech, the vast majority of speech that’s out there, will remain untouched.
“Wir dürfen den geistigen Brandstiftern nicht das Feld überlassen – weder auf der Straße noch im Netz.”
German Of The Day: Inszenierung
Erich Honecker would be proud. Or at least a little envious.
Inszenierung means staging, or a political staging or production in this case.
Despite the incredibly deep division in Germany regarding the ongoing refugee crisis, the 1000 delegates at Angela Merkel’s CDU party congress yesterday honored her with enthusiastic applause and a 99% approval rating of open door policy. What they really think about it is of course another matter.
Meanwhile… The number of crimes committed against refugees in connection with their accommodation has risen drastically this year, nearly doubling to 1610.
Die CDU hat mit einem Leitantrag zu Flucht und Integration ihrer Parteivorsitzenden Angela Merkel deutlich den Rücken gestärkt. Der vom Bundesvorstand am Sonntagnachmittag noch leicht geänderte Antrag fand am Montag beim Bundesparteitag eine Zustimmung von etwa 99 Prozent der rund 1.000 Delegierten.
