Latest Imperial Decree In The Pipeline

September 15, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Angela Merkel, Asylum Seekers, Contentents, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Industry, Migrants, Refugees Leave a comment

Much like the repeated (and ignored) calls for “contingents” of refugees to be fairly distributed across the rest of EU Europe, the Empress of Europe (or at the very least of Germany) has now called on German industry to do more about hiring more refugees right here in Germany itself.

“Sheesh. We’ve already hired over a hundred (that’s one one and two zeros),” one irritable spokesman for German blue-chip companies lamented. “From the million or two that came into the country last year that’s, well, a pretty good start. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know. Nor destroyed in a day, for that matter. An empress ought to know this kind of stuff.”

“Given that around 80 percent of asylum seekers are not highly qualified and may not yet have a high level of German proficiency, we have primarily offered jobs that do not require technical skills or a considerable amount of interaction in German.”

Asylum Seekers Go On Vacation In The Land Of Their Persecution

September 12, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum, Asylum Seekers, Corruption, Crime, Fraud, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Refugees, Vacation Leave a comment

No, not in Germany. Germany is the place where they get the dough to do that.

Then they go back to the land of their persecution to vacation. That’s why they were granted asylum here in the first place. No, not to go on vacation in the land of their persecution. To escape the land of their persecution. Is that so hard to understand? They were being persecuted, see? That’s why they came to Germany. To get the asylum. Then, after they get the dough from the Arbeitsagentur, they go back to the land of their persecution. Or some of them do. But only for a short vacation. That’s allowed or something. Or maybe it isn’t. Hard to say for sure.

Do you get it now? No. I’m not going to repeat that again. And hell no. Of course I didn’t make any of this up. I don’t have to. Are you persecuting me or something?

Asylberechtigte kehren zu Urlaubszwecken vorübergehend in jenes Land zurück, aus dem sie offiziell geflüchtet sind. Die Bundesagentur für Arbeit bestätigte: „Es gibt solche Fälle.“ Offizielle Erhebungen lägen dazu aber nicht vor.

German Of The Day: Abschiedskultur

July 27, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Armin Schuster, Asylum Seekers, CDU, German, Germans, Germany, Islamic Terror, Migrants, Politicians, Refugees, Terror Leave a comment

Yesterday we discussed the German Willkomenskultur (welcome culture). Today the very latest big thing is a new German word called Abschiedskultur (farewell or send-off culture).

There are over 200,000 asylum seekers who have been denied asylum here in Germany but are still here. After the latest terror attacks – committed by two of them – a CDU politician (from Angela Merkel’s welcome culture party itself) has now had the audacity to say that it’s high time for the German government to see to it that those denied asylum actually go.

Boy oh boy did this guy ever take a dive into some hot water.

Wer abgelehnt wird, muss gehen.

PS: Sorry, I just double-checked. Only one of those two asylum seekers was denied asylum. The other one was “well-integrated.”

But Who’s Counting?

June 8, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Refugees, Statistics Leave a comment

Migrants in Germany committed or tried to commit some 69,000 crimes in the first quarter of 2016, according to a police report that could raise unease, especially among anti-immigrant groups, about Chancellor Angela Merkel’s liberal migrant policy.

And how do the cops know that these are migrants committing these crimes? That’s easy: They’re the ones without any identification. 80 percent of the refugees coming to Germany do so without papers (and only about 30 percent of the grand total are actually war refugees at all).

Ain’t no big deal, I guess. So the next time you fly over to Germany from US-Amerka just leave your passport at home and explain that to the customs officials here. And good luck with that, too (maybe saying that you’re fleeing from the American presidential election festivities might work).

80 Prozent der Flüchtlinge kommen ohne Papiere.

Terrorists In Germany?

June 2, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, Düsseldorf, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Refugees, Terror, Terrorists 2 Comments

Huh? Since when?

“A spokesman for the prosecutor declined to comment on whether the two suspects posed as refugees or sought asylum in Germany or elsewhere in Europe.”

Germany arrested three Syrian citizens on suspicion of planning an Islamic State terror attack in the city of Düsseldorf, the country’s top prosecutor said Thursday.

Two men, identified as Saleh A. and Hamza C., joined Islamic State in Syria in early 2014 and received orders from the organization’s leadership to carry out an attack in the bustling old town in Düsseldorf, the prosecutor’s office said in a statement on the arrests. The two plotted to attack one of Düsseldorf’s main streets with two suicide bombings, and then “to kill as many passersby as possible with guns and further explosives,” the prosecutor said. The two left for Turkey and then separately traveled to Germany via Greece in March and July 2015, the prosecutor said. Hundreds of thousands of refugees and migrants also entered Europe via Turkey and Greece last year.

Über Balkanroute eingereist

PS: And call me bekloppt (wacky), but I think I detect a pattern here, too.

Latest Cultural Exchange Takes Place

May 16, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Asylum Seekers, Berlin, Cologne, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Immigrants, Karneval der Kulturen, Migrants, Rape, Refugees, Sex Manual, Sexual Harassment 5 Comments

This time at Berlin’s Carneval of Cultures. Like, duh. Where else?

Police have detained three suspects after two teens were groped and robbed by a group of young men during Berlin’s “Karneval der Kulturen” festival. The assault was reminiscent of the New Year’s Eve attacks in Cologne.

Germans everywhere immediately began apologizing for not having first properly explained to these young men how sexual harassment, rape and robbery are not generally viewed as being socially acceptable in their country and then immediately sought to make amends for their shameful oversight by referring them to the German government’s latest $136,000 porn site specially designed for sex-starved refugees like themselves who are desperately trying to integrate with German women or anything else out there that moves.

Hmmm. They could have at least explained to that guy (I’m assuming here he’s the asylum-seeker) that the two of them are going to have to take the rest of their clothes off first.

The site is adorned with cartoon illustrations of various sex acts that are equally graphic and clinical. (Imagine the stick-figure man and woman on a public restroom sign pictured in virtually every conceivable sexual position.)

The Recklinghausen Connection

January 10, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, Films, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Language, Movies, Paris, Refugees, Terror, Terrorism, The French Connection 1 Comment

No, not staring Gene Hackman. This thriller stars an asylum-seeker French police killed as he tried to storm a Paris police station last week.

This guy was registered at a German asylum center in the city of Recklinghausen, had a phone with a German SIM card and carried a paper on him in which he pledged allegiance to the leader of the Islamic State. He had also been registered under four different names in Germany.

I don’t think that’s fair. That a poor refugee gets welcomed to Germany four times like that, I mean. Then there are fewer welcomes left to go around for the next wave of folks that comes in. And the next, and the next…

Der Mann posierte in seiner nordrhein-westfälischen Flüchtlingsunterkunft mit einer IS-Fahne. Die Landesbehörden stuften ihn demnach als Verdachtsfall ein, doch im Dezember 2015 verschwand er spurlos aus Recklinghausen.

PS: There’s this German turn of speech I really like: Ich glaub ich bin im schlechten Film. That means I think I’m in a bad movie. I’ve been hearing it more and more these days, too, for some reason.

Rejected Asylum Seeker Problem To Be Solved In No Time

December 21, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Migrants, Refugees, Syria Leave a comment

In no geologic time, I mean.

Wow. “Germany reports doubling of deportation numbers 2015” to more than 18,000 rejected asylum seekers, the headline goes. So, in other words, take a chill pill and relax already everybody. At this rate the rest of those to be rejected – from the 1,000,000+++ that have arrived so far in Germany this year – ought to be back home again by Easter, thus reducing the number remaining to 1,000,000++ (that’s minus one +). From the 2015 number, I mean. Next year all bets are off, however.

In 2014, German authorities registered 10,884 deportations. This year, the number rose to 18,363 until the end of November, the interior ministry said.

Number Of Refugees Suddenly Dropping

November 3, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Asylum Seekers, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Refugee Centers, Refugee Crisis, Refugees Leave a comment

You know. Like as in disappearing without a trace from German refugee centers?

Some 700 of roughly 4,000 asylum seekers in Lower Saxony disappeared into thin air last month, for instance.

Now factoring in all of the other emergency centers across the country, and assuming that this rate of disappearance remains constant, some experts are now predicting that the current German refugee crisis should be completely resolved by the year 2057.

Over the past few months, hundreds of refugees have gone missing from shelters, often before they were registered. Their disappearances are leaving the authorities clueless as to their whereabouts.

German Of The Day: The G-Word

November 2, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Arson, Asylum Seekers, German, Germans, Germany, Headlines, Journalism, Language, Media, Migrants, Press, Refugees, Violence 1 Comment

Only it’s the v-word in our language. And if this is the lying press again they’ve sure been busy. It’s in all the headlines these days.

Several People Hurt: Violence Against Refugees

Crime: Violence Against Refugees Increasing

A Weekend of Violence Against Refugees

Violence Against Asylum Seekers Increasing

Violence Against Refugees Won’t Stop

Germany – Violence Against Asylum Seekers Reaches a New Height

Brandanschläge auf Unterkünfte, Überfälle mit Baseballschlägern: Fast täglich kommt es in Deutschland zu Gewalt gegen Flüchtlinge.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Asylum Seekers