Creepy Clowns Now In German Mosques

No, not these kind of creepy clowns. The creepy bushy-long-beard Muslim kind of creepy clowns.

Clowns

That’s at least what many young Syrian refugees in Germany think of them. The mosques in Germany give them the heebie-jeebies because many of them “are more conservative than those at home.”

Hello? Germany? That’s your cue.

Hani Salam escaped civil war in Syria and survived the journey from Egypt to Europe. But when he saw men with bushy long beards at a mosque near his current home in Cologne last November, he was worried.

The men’s a ppearance reminded him of Jaish al-Islam, the Islamist rebels who took over his hometown near Damascus, said Salam, 36, who wears a mustache but no beard. One of them told Salam that “good Muslims grow beards, not moustaches,” he recalled – a centuries-old idea that he dismisses.

“One time when I was there, a Salafist asked a young Arab man to leave because he was wearing shorts. At the Turkish mosque no one cares what you’re wearing.”

Ninjas Not Allowed In School

I meant niqabs, of course (I always mix those two up for some reason).

Veil

A Muslim woman who had been accepted to night school in Osnabrück showed up for class wearing a niqab. When asked to remove it she refused and was subsequently expelled. She then went to court to fight the decision but didn’t bother to show up for a court appointment set to help clarify the matter. The court has now decided in favor of the school.

The whole thing is very schleierhaft, if you ask me. You know, “veiled in mystery?”

Eine Muslima, die an einem Osnabrücker Abendgymnasium mit einem Gesichtsschleier am Unterricht teilnehmen wollte, ist vor Gericht gescheitert.

PS: In a related story, you can now pick up pepper spray at one of Germany’s popular drugstore chains. Supply and demand and the invisible hand. Capitalism is a wonderful thing, folks.

Can I Just Grab Your Crotch Instead?

Teachers in Germany have set off a national controversy after they boycotted their own school’s leavers’ ceremony in protest at a Muslim pupil who refused to shake hands with a female member of staff.

Hamburg

“We are considering how we can send a signal that we do not tolerate such behavior.”

Remember: These Folks Don’t Represent All Muslims Living In Germany

They only represent about HALF of all the MODERATE ones: Nearly half of Turkish immigrants in Germany put Islam above law.

Turks

That’s right. The latest Emnid poll indicates that 47 per cent of the more than three million Turkish citizens living in Germany admit following their religion was “more important” than obeying “the laws of the land in which I live”.

32 per cent said they yearn to live in a society of the times of the Prophet Mohammed.

I guess we don’t even want to know what the radical Muslims out there are thinking. Like duh. We already do.

36 Prozent der Befragten überzeugt, nur der Islam könne die Probleme der Zeit lösen. 47 Prozent halten die Gebote des Islams für wichtiger als die deutschen Gesetze.

It’s A Cultural Thing

Pakistani-German couple in Darmstadt sentenced to life for killing their daughter

Culture

A Pakistani-German couple has been convicted of killing their daughter on religious grounds after she slept with her boyfriend. The teenager was strangled and dumped in a nearby forest.

In case you didn’t know, this kind of thing is referred to as an “honor” killing.

And by the way, there is no such thing as a life sentence in Germany. Life means fifteen years here.

Lawyers for the defense argued that despite being in Germany for twenty-eight years, the husband was “not properly socialized” in German culture and his wife “had nothing to do with the normal world.”

What About The Male Muslim Teachers In Germany?

Are they now allowed to wear headscarves in class as long as it does not cause disruption in school, too? Fair is fair, you know.

Pegida

Female Muslim teachers in Germany may wear headscarves in class as long as it does not cause disruption in the school, Germany’s top court has said in a ruling that may fuel debate about what some nationalist groups see as creeping “Islamisation”.

The constitutional court reversed its initial 2003 ban on headscarves for teachers, which had led some German states to forbid Muslim headscarves in schools while permitting the wearing of Christian symbols such as crucifixes and nuns’ habits.

“Ich empfinde das Urteil als Katastrophe. Ich halte das für ein Zurückweichen, für die Preisgabe eines elementaren Bausteins unserer Gesellschaft.”

I Would Like To Know More About This ISIS Beheading Thing

And the Charlie Hebdo attack. And all the other attacks. And that mysterious Islamist terror threat yesterday in Bremen. You know. I would like to know more about stuff like that.

Muslim

I would like to understand these things better because I don’t understand them at all because all of these atrocities are being carried out by Islamists in the name of Islam and yet I am continually being told that these Islamists have nothing to do with Islam and that confuses me. This confusion means that I am Islamophobic, apparently. And I know you mean well, mister but I don’t think you are going to have any good answers for me, either. That must be a part of my Islamophobia, too. Help me, man. I’m sick.

“It’s getting more difficult because a lot of Islamophobic themes are coming, people now mixing Islam and terror, so we have to explain a lot.”

PS: And the Miss Germany 2015 winner is… Her.

Muslim Preacher Dude Finally Starts Making Some Sense

Otherwise known for his extremist views, Berlin Imam Sheikh Abdel Moez al-Eila has proclaimed that a wife should be confined to her husband’s home and should never refuse him sex.

Now he didn’t explicitly say that it had to be really good sex, too but some things kind of go without saying. Now that’s what I call old-time religion.

Claiming that when he first married his wife, she was “pretty and slim” and that she “used to say nice things to him,” al-Eila bemoans that he has been left with a “fat” wife with a “gloomy face.”

If a man is tempted by another woman who “arouses” him in the street, al-Eila claims that the Prophet Muhammad had the remedy when he apparently said that the man “…should go home quickly and have sex with his wife and Allah will immediately remove the urge from his heart.”

Muslims Find Soap Offensive

Let me rephrase that: Certain Muslims on Facebook find a specific soap being sold by Aldi Süd offensive because it has a minaret on the label.

Soap

That injures their religious sensibilities of something so Aldi, being the politically correct cutthroat global discount supermarket chain it is, has now removed the soap from its offering. This, in turn, has pissed off a number of German customers who feel that the Muslim and Aldi reactions  are completely ridiculous, which, of course, they are.

One such customer has now suggested that Aldi also remove Germany’s famous Kölnisch Wasser (Cologne) from their offering as it injures German religious sensibilities, too. After all, the Cologne Cathedral is depicted on its label.

So fordert etwa ein Kunde auf der Facebook-Seite des Unternehmens, dass man “Kölnisch Wasser” aus dem Verkauf nehmen sollte, weil es seine religiösen Gefühle verletze.

All Together Now!

Here’s where we say this had nothing to do with Islam (other religions have this kind of stuff done in their names all the time, you know).

Charlie Hebdo

And getting back to Pegida… How could anyone possibly have anything bad to say about the potential Islamization danger in Germany? Or, well, in France for that matter.

“All diejenigen, die bisher die Sorgen der Menschen vor einer drohenden Gefahr durch Islamismus ignoriert oder verlacht haben, werden durch diese Bluttat Lügen gestraft.”