German Of The Day: Milliardenloch

February 5, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Basic Pension, Budgets, Defense, German, Germans, Germany, Government spending, Language, NATO, SPD, Spending Leave a comment

That means a billion-euro hole. You know, as in the ones that will be appearing in the coming German federal budgets?

The money has been rolling in to Berlin for years but it looks like those days are about to end. Germany’s current finance minister, Olaf Scholz (SPD), warns that the government will be missing some 25 billion euros by 2023. No new expenditures possible, folks. Not unless there are cuts somewhere else. Right. Good luck with that, pal. You’re with the SPD, for crying out loud (that stands for Spend other People’s Dough).

And it sure would be a shocker if Germany now used this as an excuse not to live up to its defense spending commitments, wouldn’t it? See how this works, folks?

Nach Jahren sprudelnder Steuereinnahmen droht dem Bund wegen der abflauenden Konjunktur ein 25-Milliarden-Loch im Haushalt bis 2023.

Well, This Is A Fine Super-State You’ve Got Us Into

February 4, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Brexit, EU, Germany 1 Comment

Brexit has been going on a long time before Brexit ever came along. For good reason.

Germany planted the seeds of destruction…

Although the form of the British exit from the EU is often presented as a reductionist binary choice — “a no-deal exit” or “a deal the U.K. and the EU can live with” — London has in effect restated the fundamental question of what is a European project: A Europe of sovereign nation states, or a federal European super-state.

Brexit is a revolt against a German-run European super-state.

German Of The Day: Antidemokratisch

February 3, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Bundestag, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Parliament, Politicians, Quotas, Women Leave a comment

That means antidemocratic.

Women in Germany won the right to vote in 1918, but a century later they still do not enjoy equal representation. Though the country is led by a woman — who will, most likely, be succeeded by another woman — fewer than a third of the members of the federal Parliament, the Bundestag, are female.

That’s why leading figures from all major German parties are now calling for parity: a 50-50 quota for male and female representatives in the Bundestag and the 16 state-level Parliaments. But is achieving a gender balance in Germany’s legislatures worth weakening another hard-fought accomplishment, the right to free electoral choice?

In a word, no.

Der gute Zweck heiligt nicht den Zwang.

Evelyn B.

February 2, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hotness Tags: Evelyn Burdecki Leave a comment

Beautiful German of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

This Is A Bad Hair Day

February 1, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Army, Bundeswehr, German, Germans, Germany, Hair, Haircuts, Military Leave a comment

For hair everywhere. Especially in the Bundeswehr. German court rules goth soldier must get a hair cut.

Sorry, pal. But a man’s goth to do what he’s goth to do. At least those cute Bundeswehr chicks goth off the hook…

The soldier, a member of Germany’s Gothic scene who wants to wear his hair long, considered the armed services law discriminatory because it allows women to wear long hair, but not men.

Men in previous ages wore their hair long, argued the 51-year-old who works in the defense ministry in Bonn. He said ancient, long-haired warriors were thought to have a particular masculinity, so he did not understand why only women were currently allowed to wear their hair long.

“Fashionable hairstyles are allowed, provided they are not particularly conspicuous in cut or shape, such as mohawk, ornamental or sidecuts.”

How Sexist Or Something

January 31, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Berlin International Film Festival, Berlinale, Film Festivals, Films, Gender, German, Germans, Germany, Movies Leave a comment

The Berlin International Film Festival will sign the 50/50 by 2020 gender parity pledge,

So, like, let me get this straight. You are ASSuming that there are only TWO genders or what, Herr Dieter Kosslick with the dopey hat? You’re going to get letters, pal. Some might have explosives in them, too.

At first I thought they meant 50/50 with regard to the quality of the films they show here at the Berlinale. You know, 50 percent crappy and the other 50 percent really crappy? But I was way off, as usual.

The 50/50 by 2020 pledge does not mandate gender quotas, but calls for festivals to strive for gender parity in top management and for them to publish figures on the gender of the directors of films submitted every year.

Speaking Of Mangelhaft…

January 30, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Airforce One, Airplanes, Bundeswehr, Frank-Walter Steinmeier, German, Germans, Germany, Presidents 1 Comment

As reported yesterday, the guy in charge of inspecting the Bundeswehr has given it yet another inadequate (mangelhaft) rating.

Now the President of Germany himself, that guy up there, forget his name, can personally confirm this. He is currently gestrandet (stranded) in Ethiopia after making a state visit because his Bundeswehr One or whatever the hell they call it is, well, she is broken.

Anybody know anybody passing through Ethiopia the next few days who might be willing to pick up the President of Germany and bring him to the nearest bus station or something?

Die Unglücksserie bei den deutschen Regierungsfliegern reißt nicht ab. Nach Entwicklungsminister Müller sitzt nun auch Bundespräsident Steinmeier zeitweise in Afrika fest. Ein Defekt an seiner Airbus-Maschine muss erst noch repariert werden.

German Of The Day: Mangelhaft

January 29, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Bundeswehr, Defense, German, Germans, Germany, Language, NATO Leave a comment

That means inadequate.

And that’s what Germany’s Wehrbeauftragter (Defense Commissioner) has to say about the conditions of Germany’s Bundeswehr. It’s still inadequate. I know this isn’t news or anything but it’s a cool word, don’t you think?

Funny, the Bundeswehr has been inadequate for as long as anyone can remember. At what point can you safely conclude that this inadequacy is intentional?

“Die Lage der Bundeswehr als „nach wie vor mangelhaft.”

Don’t They Know That Walls Don’t Work?

January 28, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: African Swine Fever, Boars, Borders, Denmark, Germany, Illegal Immigration, Migrant Crisis, Migrants, Walls Leave a comment

Denmark’s agriculture ministry Monday announced that the government has started to construct a fence along the border with Germany to keep wild boar from entering the country.

Once completed — which should be done by the fall of this year — the Danish fence could stretch for nearly 70 kilometers.

Germany, more advanced in matters like this, would never dream of putting up a wall on it’s border.

“We have 11 billion good reasons to do everything we can to prevent African swine fever reaching Denmark.”

Exit? What Exit?

January 27, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: AfD, Angela Merkel, Asylum Seekers, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Mitrant Crisis, Nationalism, Refugees 1 Comment

What Angela Merkel’s exit means for Germany — and Europe.

Hilarious! Merkel’s announcement comes at a pivotal time when nationalism is on the rise in Europe and the continent is still reeling from the 2015 migrant crisis.

Whah? Huh? She caused the 2015 migrant crisis. She is therefore directly responsible for this rise in nationalism you are so concerned about. And she ain’t going nowhere, either. She’s already hand-picked her Mini-MErkel to take the reins should anyone ever figure out how to get her to actually go away (other than at gunpoint).

All I can say is… German oddity 5. Young adults in Germany have never known a chancellor other than Angela Merkel. She has been in office since 2005. It’s time to go. It’s been time to go for quite some time now even. Geh mit Gott (go with God) but go. And don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Author Archives: Hermann Observer