German Of The Day: Umweltunfreundlich

August 16, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Biodiesel, Biofeuls, E10, German, Germans, Germany, Governement Regulation, Interventionism, Language, Planned Economy, Socialism, Soja Leave a comment

That means eco-unfriendly. Or in the case of biodiesel, this means “being so eco-friendly that it is eco-unfriendly.”

More starry-eyed government interventionism in action. To save the world from destruction by using biodiesel they have to destroy the world first by producing it. This reminds me of those good old communist planned economy days. And we all know how that went with the best made plans of mice and communist men.

Dem Biokraftstoff gehört die Zukunft. An negative Begleiterscheinungen dachte keiner. Doch die Indizien, dass vermehrt für das Weltklima wichtige Wälder gerodet, Sümpfe entwässert und in Ackerflächen umgewandelt werden, mehren sich. Nach Informationen der Weltagrarorganisation FAO dienen nur noch 47 Prozent der Weltgetreideproduktion – Weizen, Reis, Mais – der Ernährung.

All The Clichés About Germans Are False

August 13, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Cliches, Customs, German, Germans, Germany, Surveys 5 Comments

Aber was soll es (but what’s it matter)? Let’s just stick with them anyway.

I Thought Germany Already Had All Driverless Cars

August 12, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Automobiles, Autonomous Cars, Cars, Driverless Cars, German, Germans, Germany, Robots, Surveys Leave a comment

Just try crossing a busy street here and you’ll see what I mean.

But word is that only one in five Germans would be happy to ride in an autonomous car, according to a survey by Germany automobile industry monitoring association KueS.

I guess Germans just can’t stand the idea of losing control. Over the car that’s already out of control, I mean.

If we took the lead in autonomous vehicles, we could over-take the Germans, the Spanish and the French in a huge new industry. We just need to keep our foot on that accelerator – while browsing some play-lists on Spotify and sending a few e-mails of course.

Speaking Of Construction Projects…

August 6, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Berlin Brandenburg International, Construction Projects, Egypt, German, German Efficiency, Germans, Germany, Klaus Wowereit, Language, Myths, SPD, Suez Canal Leave a comment

So just let me get this straight. After one year Egypt has opened a major expansion of the freakin’ Suez Canal, deepening the waterway and providing ships with a 22 mile channel parallel to it.

Meanwhile, in Berlin…

The non-working airport, Berlin Brandenburg International (some prefer to call it Klaus Wowereit International), should have started working three years ago. It may start working in two years’ time. No one knows.

The most important thing to remember is German efficiency – both the term and concept – exists in our English-speaking world but not in theirs. You never hear Germans talking about German efficiency. Anyone who lives in Berlin knows why… While Germany may have a system for everything, Berlin proves every day there’s no system for when the system fails.

Dumb Question

August 3, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, hitchBOT, Invasions, Philadelphia, Robots, Vandalism, World War II 2 Comments

“What Would Have Happened if Germany Had Invaded the U.S. During World War II?”

That’s easy. They would have ended up like this little Canadian robot dude who, like, just tried invading our country or something.

Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love, OK? Nobody ever said anything about robots.

Let’s be honest, whether fair or not, Philadelphia has a certain reputation. It’s a city where football fans booed and threw snowballs at Santa Claus. Baseball fans once threw D cell batteries (the big ones) at visiting outfielder J.D. Drew. And now, it’s where an adorable robot who was only counting on the kindness of strangers to hitchhike across the country was vandalized, effectively ending his summer trip.

German Sommerloch Update: Two New Mysterious Extraterrestrial Phenomena Found Near Berlin

July 31, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hustle (Hoax) Tags: Berlin, Crop Circles, Extraterrestrials, German, Germans, Kornkreise, Language, UFOs 2 Comments

No, not in Friedrichshain. NEAR Berlin. In a place called Großziethen. The Germans in this area call these phenomena “Kornkreise” and they appear to be designs or patterns laid down gently in a growing crop, leaving the surrounding crop untouched. By aliens.

Here is a picture of a German Kornkreis taken earlier this year.

Needless to say, German Kornkreise are not spread randomly across the countryside but always appear near roads, areas of medium to dense population and Ortschaften (places) like Großziethen where there is obviously very, very little to do.

Two new crop circles have recently appeared in a suburb of Berlin and Dave Keating reports…

First Sommerloch Monster Sighting Already Over

July 28, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Kangaroos, Monsters, Summer, Wallabies 4 Comments

They don’t usually catch them, this time of year. But they had this guy in the bag in no time.

Kangaroos in Brandenburg? Why not, they’re in Sauerland and Rheinland these days, too.

I do wonder if Germany’s nature engineers have thought this through thoroughly, however. Didn’t they just reintroduce wolves here reently?

Polizisten, ein Tierarzt und Anwohner haben in Teltow-Fläming stundenlang ein Buschkänguru gejagt. Erst Betäubungspfeile konnten es stoppen.

Freital

July 26, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Freital, German, Germans, Germany, Nazis, Paranoia, Racism, Refugees, Xenophobia Leave a comment

Ugly Germans of the week.

Because somebody has to detest them.

Sommerloch Tornado Coming This Way!

July 24, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Films, German, Germans, Germany, Horror Films, Humor, Movies, Sharknado, Sharks, Sommerloch, Storms, Tornados, Trash, Zeljko 1 Comment

The German Sommerloch is famous for being the time for scary none-news news reports. It is also famous for being the time for reports about scary non-animal animals, too.

That is why everybody is all hot and bothered right now about that scary low front “Zeljko“ approching Germany as you read this. Many Sommerloch weather forecasters are worried that this could be the beginning of a real live Sommerloch tornado (ignore the fact that Germany doesn’t actually do tornados, please).

Others who prefer to remain anonymous are going to go even further out on the limb and are predicting that “Zeljko“ could turn into the dreaded Sommerloch Sharknado ITSELF!

Im ersten Teil bekämpfen sie die fliegenden Haie in Los Angeles, in Teil zwei in New York und in „Sharknado 3 – Oh Hell No!“ macht sich der Raubtier-Tornado über der gesamten Ostküste der USA breit.

Speaking Of Posing With Animals…

July 22, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Home Cooking Tags: Animals, FKK, German, Germans, Germany, Nudists, Summer, Vacation 5 Comments

What’s wrong with this picture?

Dogs are allowed on the beaches here.

Six odd things Germans do in the summer: These summer pastimes show that Germans’ reputation for being uptight and straight-laced sticklers for punctuality couldn’t be further from the truth. Many like nothing better than getting naked and drunk, and blocking up public traffic routes on the way.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Habitudes